The Alpha’s Desire 2(12)
“Why is this so hard? No, don’t tell me. You are simply amazing, built just as a woman should be.”
“Really? The world would disagree. Full-figured woman don’t have a huge following. I think we’ve just started to at least earn some respect.”
“No. In my eyes, you are what a woman should be, like I told you before, like the paintings,” he stated in a garbled tone with his head still back, his eyes focused on the ceiling.
“We can do this,” I encouraged. “If we knew that sex wasn’t forbidden, off the table so to speak, then we could relax in each other’s company and just talk. It’s like the donut that someone sits on a table in front of you and tells you not to eat. Willpower is a myth,” I joked. “A very cruel myth.”
“Right. I get the message,” he said, finally straightening his head and turning to look at me. “But, we aren’t supposed to talk. You are not supposed to even know that werewolves, magical or otherwise, even exist at all.”
“Got it,” I grunted as I slid over to him, my thigh coming to rest against his.
His mouth twisted up on one side, for a moment, as he took a deep breath through his nose and then continued. “Back to your checking up question. I would more call it checking in with. They just see if I need anything, and ask for updates on the other group of werewolves, as far as if they are attempting anything. They collect intel, I guess you could call it, to try to stay on top of the issues, figure out the group’s next moves if they can. It helps. It always has.
“They even keep me updated if there’s some news that will better prepare me to protect you, whether I need to be more vigilant or not. Though, I always know where you are and what you are doing. We have a connection that even far away, even when I’m asleep, the slightest change in your breathing or heartrate wakes me. I’m never far enough that I can’t race to you in time. I move a bit faster than the average wolf.”
“So I noticed. But, still, where does that leave us?” I pleaded.
I placed my hand on his leg and squeezed before I moved in a little closer. I watched his muscles jump as our arms came to rest against each other. That magic he spoke of practically sizzled. I looked to see if one could actually see it.
“Please, don’t,” he hissed.
“You don’t want me?”
“You know that I do. I just can’t,” he said, his voice tight, deep. “Not again.”
“You can. How would they ever know?” I countered.
“They would. They know or find out everything. What if they took me away from you?”
“You mean they would kill you to keep you away from me?” I asked as my voice hitched with the increase in beats of my heart.
“No,” he said fast. “No, they would never do that. But, they are a serious bunch, and your life is very important to them. If they thought my feelings for you might compromise my judgment, and thus your safety in any way… we’ve been straight out told that if we break any rule, that we will be removed from service. We weren’t told specifically what would happen to us then, but they didn’t seem like they would ask questions or could be reasoned with.”
“Do you think I would be better off with someone else protecting me then?” I dared ask.
“No!” he roared. “No,” he stated again, much softer. “No one could protect you like I could.”
“Then don’t fear what is between us. If they found out, surely we could talk to them, reason with them, that our feelings don’t endanger me,” I pleaded my case.
‘“I know now why my father let his life go. I used to think that I wasn’t enough for him, or that I reminded him too much of what he lost. And, maybe I did, but I can see now how hard it must have been to live each day without her. I feel like I can’t breathe when you aren’t near. My skin literally aches to be pressed against yours. My father, he loved me, I know that now, but he endured this kind of torment for as long as he could to care for me, rather than just ending his life when hers ended. The only way you can truly protect me now is to love me and let me love you. Or don’t they care about my happiness, not just my safety?”