The Absolution of Aidan(82)

Deidre had many more questions for her, too, after she finally came to and grasped onto the reality we were going to have another baby. I tamped that shit down. Told her it was over, that we were not looking back. EVER.

But I had to answer a few of them. She wouldn’t let up. I did and then covered her mouth before she could ask any more and kissed her like my life depended on it. And it did. She’s my life.

Again. I love it.

Stefano came out of recovery shortly after we left the Emergency Room. Thank god he’s fine. The first thing he said when we walked into his room was, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Deidre smiled. And I stood there like, “What the fuck?” This guy was shot. Had surgery, and the first thing he says when he sees his daughter is what’s wrong? If I didn’t know before that moment that I wanted to be the best dad I could be to my kids, I knew it then. Life may throw you as many lemons as they want, how you deal with it is up to you. Even when you’re down and out, sick or on your deathbed, your kids always come first. I knew it all along, but watching Deidre break down and cry and her dad take her in his good arm made me realize I was damn lucky to have her. She was taught how to love by a good man, a man who still has some aches and pains in his shoulder, but is back to kicking ass in the courtroom. Back to being a grandfather and thrilled another one will be here soon.

And Anna and Grace. Shit. Those two women are family. Grace has been more like a mother to me than mine ever was. She came out unscathed, too. Mentally that is. Deidre was worried sick about her. Hell, we all were, thinking she might fall victim to a breakdown like Deirde did. She didn’t. Besides a bruised larynx. The woman is a goddamn saint, along with her daughter. My sister Anna.

Anna struggled at first. Her body was severely broken and battered. Two broken ribs. A broken nose. Bruises everywhere. That woman is tough, courageous, and I owe her more than I can ever repay her for. She’s hurting still, and there isn’t fuck all I can do to help her.

Her heart, I know, was shattered the most. All of ours were and still are.

Dilan. He survived, barely. He lost so much blood. It took three long days for him to wake up, and once he did, he was in and out of it for at least a week longer. His parents never left his side, until they no longer had a choice.

He took off once he was released from the hospital. Not like Deidre did last year. He told us where he was going. He needed to get away. That night destroyed him like it did me. He needed a clean break and all that shit. I understand needing time, but he’s a liar and a coward. You cannot fool another fool and all that shit.

Where he needed the escape, I stayed around my family. I know there’s more to it than guilt eating away at him though. Something was spoken between him and Anna on that walk, I know it. Something that made him want to take off. Dilan, like all the rest of us, is a family man. So whatever was spoken must have been too much for him to handle.

Deidre told me the conversation she had with Anna earlier in the evening before hell swept in and tried to take us all into the depths of eternal fire. Dilan heard Anna talking about him. She doesn’t buy it, either. Anna refuses to talk about it with anyone. When Dilan calls, he doesn’t call me. He calls Roan or his parents. Never me.

Again, none of my business. But we all hate this for Anna. The woman had it bad for him, or I should say has. Even though nothing happened between the two of them, I get it when you feel a connection so strong towards another person that it eats away at you until you feel like there’s nothing left to hold on to. No give. She tried to date, not sure what happened there. Well, if you call a couple of dates dating. Some doctor who works with Alina. Total opposite of Dilan. Needless to say, we all think she’s still hoping he’ll come back. He may come back, but I know damn well he’s been up to no good. I also know Salvatore. There is no way he doesn’t have someone on Dilan’s tail. Watching his every move. Especially when he spent a few years in prison. That’s a whole sordid fucked-up mess of a story.

Both she and Grace work at The Bakery. Live in my old apartment. And the money she inherited from her father? She donated it to the hospital. The children’s wing. She’s a saint. A warrior. And my family. Dilan needs his ass beat as far as I’m concerned. Idiot.

“Enough of this bullshit, buddy. We need to get ready.” Yup, I still swear a lot. Mostly in my head. Every once in a while, the shit spews out. It’s the way I am. If Diesel wants to swear, then let him. I’ll teach him the when and the where he can say it. The words he can and can’t say.

“Dadada,” he shakes his head, but raises his arms to me anyway.