Free, that’s how I usually feel when I’m on my bike. Not today. Today I feel like someone is following me, watching my every move. My eyes flit continuously between the road and the rearview mirror. Fuck all if I know if someone is on my ass or not. This traffic sucks. I weave around cars, horns honking at me left and right. Fuck them all. The only thing I care about right now is making him pay. Making him pay for threatening my son.
“Jesus Mother Fucking Christ,” Cain screeches from across the gym as I lay into the punching bag like it’s Ryan’s fucking face. How I wish to god it were. “Brother, what the hell?” Roan stops the bag mid-punch.
My arms burn, my fists sting, and I want more. I want so much more.
I made the call to Salvatore to take the little prick out once they find him. My gut wrenches like a bolt twisted too tight. For the first time in my life, I feel sick, and now there’s fuck all I can do about it. Let it ride out. Let him fucking rot right next to his father who made him into the spineless fucker he is today.
“Fuck.” Untying the gloves from my hands, I yank them off and toss them to the ground.
My hands go to my hair, pulling tightly. I begin to pace. Turning toward my friends, I let it all out. I tell them everything about the text messages, pleading with my eyes for them to give me an answer on whether I jumped the gun or made the right decision. My heart is telling me I did the right thing, while my head is calling me out. Berating me. Taunting me.
When I look Roan in the eye, my head listens before he even speaks. It’s right there in the man’s expression. He knows. He gets it. Hell, he lived it.
“This is the life we choose to lead, man. I get it. It sucks. Family isn’t about blood. Even though in both of our cases, it is or it was. The bottom line is, we protect those we love, those who return our love. I would have done the same thing. Hell, I almost killed my own brother. Any man who threatens an innocent child doesn’t deserve to live. He deserves to rot in fucking hell. That’s your family you’re protecting. As long as you remember that, then that’s all that should matter here.”
“You’re a better man than I am,” Cain clasps my shoulder. “If someone were to threaten my daughter or my wife, I’d kill them myself.”
“What about your mom?” My head jerks toward Roan at the mention of her. I haven’t called her yet. I needed to beat this guilt out of my system first.
“I’m hoping what your dad told me is correct, that she doesn’t know a damn thing.” I move and sit down on the floor, bracing my knees in front of me, and my throbbing hands on the floor.
“My dad’s thorough, Aidan, he doesn’t fuck shit up. You know this. If he said she doesn’t know, then she doesn’t.” His words are clipped and tight. Straight to the point. Neither one of these men have steered me wrong in all the years I’ve known them. Why I am now having a hard time believing anything anyone tells me beats the hell out of me.
“We’re your family, Aidan. Including Salvatore. Children are a no go and you know it. I mean, shit, look at the chick who lead us to Royal last year. Both Salvatore and Ivan could have had her killed. They didn’t. And do you know why?” Cain probes then turns around and answers his own question.
“Because she didn’t know shit. She was an addict. Got caught up with the wrong person. Now that young girl is clean, going to school to become a counselor for drug addicts. He would never lie to you. I know your mom is a conniving bitch. But something else is going on here, brother. You need to find out, no, I take that back, we need to find out what the hell it is.”
He’s fucking right. Both of them are right. It’s hard to imagine my mother would have anything to do with this at all. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact she even showed up at my place and asked me to kill two women. Unless she was forced to. Cain’s words light a spark under my ass. I hop onto my feet rapidly and head straight for my phone, ignoring my two friends yelling at me like I’m going insane.
“I’m good.” I spin around with my phone in my hand, confronting them.
“I need to make a call.” Silently, I thank them for being the brothers I need. For always having my back, seeking both of their eyes out individually. They simply nod in return. There’s nothing more to be said. We all know how much we care about each other.
I hesitate and collect my thoughts before hitting her number, praying she still has the same one from all those years ago. Standing outside the gym, I brace myself for whatever names she’s going to throw at me this time. I stopped caring a long time ago about the shit she says about me. Just like I stopped caring about her.