The Absolution of Aidan(5)

I flick the lock on my door and make my way into my kitchen, grabbing my bottle of Jim beam off the counter, taking a long slow gulp. The burn feels priceless as it smoothly flows down my throat. Thanks to my two good buddies Cain and Roan, I have this thirty-seven hundred square foot apartment overlooking the skyline of New York, on the same floor, right around the corner of the hall where Roan and his now live-in girlfriend Alina Solokov live. Lucky fuckers. Both of them. I never in a million years thought I could settle down with one woman, but hell, I hate being single. I want it all. The woman who only has eyes for me. Someone to talk to. To hold at night. To fuck when I want to. To tell me she loves me and that I’m worth something.

“You’re so fucked up, dude.” I take another swig. This one is even longer. It burns. It burns so damn good.

Twisting the cap back on, I sit it back on the black marble counter. I stare at the deep blue-black of the counter, flashes of the same color running through my mind. A color so rich and dark, it’s the prettiest color I have ever seen. Until in a flash, it was fucking gone.

Deidre La Russo. “FUCK!” I shout. I’ve tried to forget every damn thing about her. I brace my hands on the edge of the counter and tilt my head down, taking a deep breath, waiting for the guilt to flow quicker into my veins than any amount of Jim Beam can do. I’d give anything for her to storm through my door with her attitude. Any damn thing at all.



After everything that happened to her, she up and disappeared. Guilt ate me up worse than the brutal beating and the drugs Roan’s brother inflicted on me. The unmentionable things he did to that woman while I was forced to watch. I cringe when the sound of her screams ring out in my ears. I can still hear them from time to time after a nightmare, when I wake up in a cold sweat, only to realize that motherfucker is dead. But her…I will never be able to forget her, nor the things we said to each other. The names I called her. Christ. The moment I could get out of that hospital bed, I did. The first thing I did was check on her. Make sure she was going to be ok, only to my surprise she was gone. Fucking gone and for a year, her parents have kept her whereabouts a damn secret.

Why I’m all of a sudden thinking of her now beats the hell out of me. You’re always thinking of her, you asshole. Always.

Maybe it’s because I’ve never had a woman rile my ass up the way she did, with her sassy attitude. Her sweet, yet tart mouth. And her ass. What man in their right mind doesn’t love a nice ass? The moment I walked into her apartment over a year ago and I saw her with her back to me, my instincts shot straight for her ass, and hell, the first thing that ran through my mind was how round it was. I hadn’t even seen her face yet and I wanted to grab that ass and grip it tight like a damn bowling ball, squeeze for firmness and flexibility.

And then she turned around. I had nearly came undone, was void of speaking. I’ve seen some beautiful women in my twenty-nine years, but Christ, not a damn one of them compared to her.

Those hazel eyes blinked in astonishment at me. Most women do when they get their first look. I’m not one to brag, and shit, but I’m a big guy. I can only imagine the first thing that ran through her mind was ‘Holy shit, this dude is big.’ I’m six foot seven. I do my best to keep myself in shape, working out as much as I can with Cain and Roan. Most people fear me, claim I intimidate them, but not her. She stood tall, even though she can’t be much over five foot five or so. When those first words tumbled out her sexy as fuck mouth, I knew right there I was imperially screwed.

“Who the hell are you?” she said, her hands firmly planted on her curvy hips.

“Don’t act like you have no clue who I am,” I dropped my bag on the floor. My long legs carried me straight to her. I was there to protect her. She didn’t realize it, but she was about to get her first lesson; either that or I wanted to shove my tongue down her throat.

“We all know there’s a dangerous man out there. One who will kill anyone who gets in his way of getting what he wants. He wants your best friend, and what do you do the minute I knock on your door?” I leaned into her, my face close enough to see the gold flecks in her eyes. She didn’t budge, flinch, not a damn thing except tilt her head up to look right at me. Those long raven-colored locks of hers touched the tip of her apple-shaped ass.

“What? Are you pissed off because I didn’t greet you at the door? Say ‘Oh hey, badass guy, thanks for invading my privacy? And double thanks for making sure I stay cooped up in my apartment until psycho man is found?’” Her brows lifted, waiting for me to answer. My answer was in the palm of my hand. Literally. I wanted to bend her over my knee right there and spank her ass.