I turn my back to him, preparing the final touches on the chicken before placing it in the oven. The heat from his stare to my backside is fiercer than the heat coming from the oven.
“Listen to me for a minute, Deidre.” He’s standing directly behind me now. I take a deep breath. He’s so close I can smell him over the scent of the spices that are engulfing my face.
“Okay,” I manage to say weakly.
“I should have asked if I could stay here instead of demanding it. The last thing I want to do is make you feel uncomfortable, especially in your own home. I’ll leave if you want me to.” Oh hell, now the man is going to be sweet.
“It’s fine, Aidan. I have to get used to it, is all.” If you don’t move away from me though, I may spontaneously combust here on the spot. I don’t say those words out loud. No freaking way.
“You sure?” he asks.
I turn around and stare up at him. God, he’s simply divine.
“I’m sure.” I’m not giving him any more than that. I spin back around, pick up the dish, side-stepping around him, and place it in the oven, set the timer, then turn back to preparing the carrots.
I ignore him until I know he’s left the room. Then I finally let out the air I’d been holding in my lungs, grasp hold of the glass of now warm wine, and down the rest of it.
Forty-five minutes later, the two of us are sitting down to a very tense, extremely quiet dinner, while Diesel sits on top of the table in a bouncy seat, trying his best to reach for the toys that drape across the top.
“Tell me about your pregnancy and delivery.” Aidan asks those words out of the blue. I stop mid-air with my fork half-way to my mouth.
I glare at him like he’s lost his ever-loving mind. “Seriously?” I say. Baffled.
“Well, yeah. I understand why you didn’t come back and tell me. I really do. But I want to know everything I missed.” The serious look on his face melts my heart faster than the butter melted in the pan when I made these carrots.
And this is how the rest of our first night living together goes. I tell him everything, from the first moment I woke up in my room at the retreat, to finding out I was pregnant. I even go into detail about some of my counseling, how I coped with it all. How my mom was by my side during labor. I can’t help but notice his sad expression when I tell him how it felt to hold Diesel in my arms for the first time, or that as soon as he left today, Diesel flipped himself over. Guilt claws away at my chest for not having the strength to tell him earlier. I wasn’t ready. Hell, I’m not ready for him being here. What I am ready for, though, is sharing the most precious moments of our son’s life with him.
When I glance over to our son, who’s now fast asleep, I realize none of this is or should be about me or my feelings at all. It should be about him. His needs, his life. Right then and there I know without a doubt life works in the most mysterious of ways. Sends you down a path you never thought you would go. Takes you on a remarkable journey of one day at a time. I can do this. I can let those chips fall and land where they’re supposed to. That’s what a parent does for their child. I will bury my fears, live with Aidan, and see where destiny and fate take me.
CHAPTER NINE
AIDAN
Staring at a woman’s plump, juicy, and tempting ass bent over a bathtub while she’s showing you how to bathe a baby is pure motherfucking torture. It’s like heaven and hell finally joined together without Satan, leaving you stuck staring at the perfect ass for the rest of your life. Tempting you to touch it. To tug it back against your aching cock. Fuck. I’m a damn pervert.
I couldn’t help myself from leaning my head from one side to the other, imagining how the symmetrical shape of her ass would feel in my hands once again. Shit, I even went as far as what her ass would feel like with my dick inside of her. I want her so damn bad.
The result of her nicely contoured lines and curves has me lying in this small bed with my dick in my hands. Right now, I’m prone to combust, and my dick is the fucking wick to ignite the goddamn flame.
The woman is incredible. I’m not thinking about just her body. It’s everything about her. The way she is with our son, the way she smells, looks, and cooks. She’s every man’s dream. I take that back, she’s my dream. The hard part is convincing her of that fact. I know she wants me, her body screams it. This sexual attraction between us is stronger than it was before.
I’m an asshole for demanding to stay here, interrupting her life, even though we talked for hours tonight after we both put the baby to bed. I learned more about her tonight then I did in the couple of weeks I stayed with her a year ago while I protected her.