“We created this little guy. He’s perfect,” I say happily. Then she surprises me by reaching up and wiping the single tear that has fallen from my eye with her thumb.
“He’s everything, Aidan. Who knows, maybe someday we’ll know why he was gifted to us. Maybe we’ll never know. All I know is I’m going to be the best mother I can be. Diesel deserves to be loved, by both his parents. I don’t know much about the way you were raised. What I do know is I’ve seen firsthand how you stepped right into the role of protector when you came here to guard me. To me that shows what kind of man you truly are. You’re loyal, faithful, and even though you’re a pain in my ass, you’re going to be a wonderful father.” Her words are full of intense passion. She now has my emotions bouncing all over the place. I’m happy, nervous, excited, scared, and proud all rolled into one chunky little bundle of a baby boy.
“Would you like to meet him?” My eyes widen. My heart leaps somewhere between my chest and my throat. My breathing increases. With eyes misting with water, I train my gaze back down to my son and run my finger across his face in the picture. “I would love to meet him,” I whisper.
CHAPTER SIX
DEIDRE
For the first few months of this past year, I lived in a world of depression, overcome by reoccurring nightmares that tormented my mind. The shadows of nightfall would cocoon me in my own little surroundings of the small room I lived in. The walls always caving in, squeezing tightly to the point I could hardly breathe.
All of that changed the very first time I felt my son move inside of me. Even though my doctors tried to reassure me I was getting better every day, proven by the fact that I was no longer afraid to go outside for fear I would be taken, that my mood was no longer somber, my panic and anxiety were no longer overtaking me. All of that may have been true. However, I owe my healing to my son and to this man sitting next to me, trying so hard not to burst out of his skin with the same excitement I did when I first held my newborn son.
Unlike me, Aidan was raised without love. I knew he was estranged from his family, and now, after walking in here and hearing the way his mother talked to him, I know why. She’s a fucking bitch. A selfish woman. How she’s lived this long without a heart baffles the shit out of me.
What really surprises me is Aidan. I mean, I knew he wouldn’t turn his back on his responsibility. He’s proven his loyalty by coming here and protecting me. Standing by his friends’ sides. Roan and Cain are his family. Blood doesn’t mean a damn thing when it comes to choosing whom you consider family. Your heart chooses for you.
Aidan’s mother deserves none of the credit for the man he is today. There’s someone in his life who does, someone who showed him how to love. One thing is for damn certain, that fucking cow and her low-life son will have nothing to do with my child. It’s obvious they somehow know Aidan’s involvement with the mafia. I know firsthand that there is a lot of bloodshed. People die or disappear to never be heard from again. But Aidan’s not one of the ones who kills. He’s a thief, which I’m not particularly fond of, either. But this is my life. I am the daughter of one of the mafia’s attorneys. Diesel will be loved and protected. There’s danger all over this world. As much as I wish I could shield my son from it all, I can’t deny either one of them to bond like a father and his son should.
I realize now that when we first met and I kept telling myself how I hated him, that it wasn’t true. In fact, it’s so far from the truth, it scares me. I took my anger and frustration out on him the same way he took his out on me. The two of us couldn’t leave for fear of the consequences that lingered right outside my apartment door, which would even make a married couple want to claw each other’s eyeballs out.
He blames himself for not being able to help me. But I’ve never blamed him. I pray with everything I have he believed me when I told him he’s the one who saved me. He did. Even when I gave birth, I could still hear his deep voice, his words of reinforcement telling me to hang on. To not give up when all I wanted to do was scream and tell the doctors to get the baby out of me now. To stop pushing with every hard, painful contraction that ripped through my stomach. Every bit of pain I’ve been through this past year was worth it, not only because I’ve been blessed by becoming a mother, but also because of this moment right here, where I’m watching my son’s father fall in love with the greatest gift god can give to a person.
“Let’s go.” Aidan’s words snap me out of my little daydream bubble. He stands, holding his hand out for me to take.