Now, I’m listening to my friend warn me that Aidan knows I’m back.
I contemplated for days on whether I should go see them first or him. I chose them. Alina is one of the strongest women I know. I needed her strength, her guidance to get me through telling Aidan about Diesel.
Once I knew she respected my decision for the way I choose to handle my life, she listened. I’m scared and nervous of his reaction. The sooner I tell him, the better it will be for all of us. But there are a few factors that concern me now that I have a baby. I don’t know, maybe I should talk to Calla first. Surely, she must know by now, too. Shit. My theory on the outcome of the conversation I’m stalling to have is inevitable. It’s who we are. Nothing will change it.
However, my child comes before anyone or anything, and for the first time in my life, I can honestly say being connected to the mafia in a roundabout way scares the fuck out of me.
I’m the daughter to one of the Diamond family’s top lawyers, which technically means I’m not connected to them at all. I know things, though. I grew up with them. Went to school with Roan until he moved. There are lots of things I know and wish I didn’t.
One of the things I know is Aidan works for them. What he does exactly, I’m not sure. All I do know is that no way in hell do I want to put my child in danger. This is why I needed to dredge up the courage to go see him. If he’s going to be a part of Diesel’s life, which he has every right to be, then I need to make it perfectly clear I want him kept far away from this life, that I want him to have nothing to do with it at all. I’m smart enough to realize there are a hell of a lot more enemies out there. Ones that kill innocent people to pay back those that have crossed them.
Digging into my purse, I retrieve my Xanax and take my two daily pills out of the bottle, swallowing them down with my now lukewarm coffee. I’m right where I want to be in life, and this medication helps me stay calm. Not worry or panic. I’ll take it as long as I need it, even if it’s for the rest of my life.
“I’m sorry, Deidre. He knew something was up with Roan last night. Then this morning he asked me. I couldn’t lie to the man. I didn’t tell him where you were living.” Her voice is full of apology. It’s not him knowing I’m back I’m afraid of. She knows this as well as I do. We discussed it in great lengths when I showed up unannounced at her doorstep.
Alina also told me how much of a change she’s seen in Aidan over the past year. He’s calmer, more subdued and laid back. Maybe that night changed his outlook on life as well as it did mine. I don’t know. I’ll have to see for myself.
“I know. It has to be done. It’s best to get it done. This way the two of them can get to know each other. All I want is for my son to have a relationship with his father.” I think back to when I was six months pregnant. How I knew absolutely nothing about my baby’s father. But with my dad being an attorney, having resources in abundance, I was able to find out so much about Aidan.
He has a mother, a step-dad, and a half-brother, who live in Pennsylvania. To my dad’s knowledge, they haven’t spoken to one another for years. Aidan comes from a wealthy family. It’s obvious he doesn’t care about the money.
His step-father Ryan Drexler of Drex Enterprises owns several car dealerships all over the state of Pennsylvania. He is a very shrewd yet successful man, while his mother comes from old money—bankers, investors, you name it—they dipped in it. She must be a real bitch for a man like him to not want anything to do with her. I hate bitches, plain and simply hate them. It doesn’t matter what your child has done. Not that I’m saying Aidan is to blame, he doesn’t strike me as the kind of man to hurt his own mother. A parent should always be the one to step up, makes things right or at least attempt to.
I will admit I’m curious to know why he doesn’t speak to his mother. Something dreadful must have happened in order for Aidan to leave his family.
The only thing my father wasn’t able to find out was who Aidan’s biological father was. No name was put on his birth certificate, just the name of his mother, Alexis Hughes, which was her maiden name. I was relieved to know he didn’t come from a family of crime.
“I need to get to work, but I felt like you needed to know. Knowing him, he won’t give up until he sees for himself that you really are ok. Like I said last night, your disappearance did a number on him. For a long time, he withdrew from everyone,” she articulates sincerely. The man must have gone through his own private hell, which does nothing but make me feel worse.