The #1 Bestsellers Collection 2011(142)
Her words fell like lead pellets on a tin plate, and across the table Connor flinched. He leaned back in his chair, eyeing her as if she’d escaped from a lunatic asylum.
“You’re kidding me, right? You want me to pay you, like some surrogate?” His tone implied he expected her to withdraw her words, but Holly wouldn’t take them back even if she’d wanted.
She settled more comfortably in her chair, forcing her fingers to relax, to project an aura of calm. “I think I made myself clear.”
A muscle worked on the side of his jaw. Clench, release. Clench, release. Holly knew she’d crossed some invisible line to a point of no return. If he’d had an ounce of respect left for her, she’d splintered it beyond redemption.
“I can see why you’d want to help Andrea. But, Holly, you only had to ask me. I’m not a monster.”
No, he wasn’t a monster, and that was the problem. She was the monster with her hazy past and unnatural feelings about motherhood. Holly felt trapped, vulnerable, exposed. “Well, like I said. I deal with my problems my way.” She fought to remain still in her seat. If she backed down on this, she was terrified she’d lose everything. “And while I’m on the subject of Andrea, if I agree to stay here, I’ll still need to see her regularly.”
“Fine. I’ll see to it that Thompson takes you over to the city in the launch each day, weather permitting. I’ll even continue to pay your salary for as long as you’re here, with a lump-sum payout after the baby’s birth. Give me the details of Andrea’s hospital, too. I’ll make the necessary arrangements to take over her bills.”
Relief flowed through her. With her income unencumbered by Andrea’s fees she’d be able to start the investigation into her background she’d always promised herself. After the baby was born maybe she’d even have enough saved to hire someone to find out who she really was, instead of stabbing around in the dark searching public records for any information.
“So, is that everything tied up to your satisfaction? You’ll stay?” Connor interrupted her thoughts.
She meticulously refolded her napkin and placed it back on the table, amazed that her fingers weren’t shaking. “Actually there’s one other thing.”
“Really, just the one?” Sarcasm twisted his lips into an ugly line.
“I want a written contract.” Holly lowered her hands to her lap and clenched her fingers together until they started to go numb.
“A contract to have my baby. What? You think I’ll renege on the deal?”
“That’s right.” Her mother had, after all, reneged on her. By whatever means possible, Holly would ensure that this baby had at least one parent that could continue to look after it.
He sighed and closed his eyes briefly before opening them wide again and impaling her on the hot anger of his glare.
“A contract to have my baby and then leave.”
Leave? She hadn’t had a minute to even think that far ahead, but if that’s what it took … “Yes.” Her voice quavered.
“To never have anything to do with the child again?”
“Yes.” Her reply was nothing but a whisper on the sultry evening air.
His expression changed to one of complete and utter disgust. Had she gone too far? Holly felt regret bloom in her chest; wasn’t she just as bad as her own mother? She ruthlessly quashed the thought as it gained momentum in her mind, reducing it back into that dark part deep inside where her hurts remained locked away. She wasn’t like her mother. She wasn’t abandoning her baby to the unknown. Connor and his family would love and cherish this child in ways she’d never known nor knew how to.
“It’s a deal.” He sounded as though he’d aged twenty years in twenty minutes. “I’ll have the papers drawn up immediately.”
She looked at him, seeing the man she’d secretly given her heart to—the man she’d given her innocence to—and saw a stranger. Holly inclined her head in acceptance and pushed her chair away from the table, rising onto surprisingly steady legs. She lifted her chin and raised all the composure she could find within her. “I’d like to go to bed now.”
Connor’s chair scraped roughly across the tiled patio as he, too, rose from the table. “Follow me.”
In silence Holly followed Connor inside the house. They passed through French doors into a vaulted-ceilinged room, the high walls lined with bookcases and a highly polished antique partner’s desk claimed pride of place on a vibrant, jewel-hued carpet. While modern office equipment, including the latest discreet flat-screen computer, proved this was a working office, there was an elegance and permanence about the fittings.