“I’ll think about it,” Evan told her evenly, not sure how much he could say. Hell, he hadn’t even been able to put everything together himself yet, or reconcile the two women as one.
“You’ll do it or I’ll call Randi myself and find out,” Hope threatened ominously.
“Don’t,” Evan asked hastily. “I’ll tell you.” If Hope started digging, it could mean trouble. He didn’t know if Randi had ever told his sister about her email correspondence, but it wouldn’t take much for the two intelligent women to figure everything out.
Hope nodded and started pulling the cart toward the checkout. “Good. I was pretty sure you would.” Her voice sounded smug.
When did his sweet baby sister get this bossy and manipulative? Evan must have missed her transition from kind younger sibling to tough negotiator somewhere over the years.
He was silent as he followed Hope to check out the groceries, still shaking his head in shock.
He liked M. and he always had.
He was incredibly attracted to Randi—aka Miranda—but he didn’t exactly like her. Maybe he knew that he definitely didn’t hate her, but to say he was actually fond of her was stretching it, even though his dick definitely adored her.
If he put the two women together as one single female . . . he knew he was completely and totally screwed, and not in a good way.
Evan didn’t say another word until they got back to Hope’s vehicle, and then he didn’t have a choice but to spill the whole story.
Unfortunately, once he started spilling his secrets to Hope, he couldn’t stop.
“Oh, Evan,” Hope said softly, bringing her palm to her brother’s face. Tears were pouring down her cheeks as he finally finished his last story about his childhood. “Why did you go through so much all alone? We could have helped you, or at least been there to support you. You didn’t have to face all of your challenges alone.”
He shrugged. “I’m the oldest. It’s my responsibility to take care of all of you.”
Hope’s heart had broken as she’d realized that Evan had faced so many challenges when he was so young, and still did because of his issues. “We’re all grown up now, Evan. We don’t need you to take care of us anymore, but we’ll always love you and need you as our brother.”
Evan grasped her hand and turned his blue-eyed stare her way. For once, the way he was feeling was actually revealed on his face. He looked solemn and remorseful, and Hope already knew why.
“I failed you the worst, Hope,” he uttered hoarsely. “When you needed me the most, I wasn’t there.”
Her tears fell harder until she could barely see his face, her vision blurred. How could he blame himself for her past? She’d been an adult, made her own decisions. From where she was now, she didn’t regret her past, because it had brought her to Jason and her beloved son. Regardless, the horror she’d suffered in the past had nothing to do with Evan. She’d intentionally covered her tracks, and she hadn’t expected him to save her from anything. She’d wanted to do things on her own.
“I didn’t want you to know, Evan. I didn’t want anyone to know. I was free for the first time in my life, and I loved it at the time. Nothing you could have done would have made me stop, and it’s not your fault. I was an adult and it was my life.” She needed to find a way to get her lug-headed brother to understand that he wasn’t responsible for every bad thing that happened to any of them in their lives. If he could, Evan would bear the blame for every wrong in the Sinclair family, but it couldn’t continue. “It wasn’t your fault,” she repeated, hoping he’d believe it in time if she said it often enough.
“Our father was an asshole, and our mother didn’t give a damn about any of us. Somebody needed to protect all of you,” he said defensively.
“Who was there to protect you? You were just a child, too,” Hope said softly, keeping her hand in Evan’s as he lowered her arm, resting his hand on the leather seat of the car.
“I don’t think I was ever a child,” Evan answered abruptly.
Sometimes Hope wondered if he ever had been just a kid. It seemed like he’d been born in a suit and tie, ready to be an adult. But he hadn’t always been an adult, and nobody had been there for him during his childhood. Now that she understood why Evan was the way he was, she knew that she had to try to fix it. Her heart ached with sadness at the unfairness of the situation, and his insistence on always being the strong protector. He’d always been distant, but she’d felt him pulling away from his family, and he needed them. The truth was, they needed him just as much. The entire Sinclair family needed to finally heal from the wounds of their upbringing. “I think you need to tell Grady, Dante, and Jared.” All of them worried about Evan and the distance he’d put between them. She understood why, to an extent, but it needed to end. He was mistaken in thinking he wasn’t wanted anymore. Not that he’d said that, but Hope could sense it. Every one of them loved him, whether he could accept that affection or not. Yeah, sometimes Evan was a jerk. But looking back, he had been a protector to each one of them at one time or another. Right now, Hope’s heart ached that none of them had realized that Evan had experienced his own unique challenges.