Maybe he would be happy. It would be a piece of his mother, lost for years.
But even as Maddie voiced the thought in her mind, she knew she might be very wrong. She was alone. She had reason to welcome a sibling. Boone already had a brother and a clear, untarnished image of his mother in his mind.
Maddie would not disturb that fragile memory. Not yet, not until there was no choice. It was the least she could do for a man whose life had already been thrown into chaos by other people’s mistakes.
Boone was out in the north pasture digging postholes when Jim found him.
“You plannin’ to dig your way down to China?”
Boone kept working, needing the exertion. The handles of the posthole diggers held tight in his fists, he struck another harsh blow into the soil, until the clang of metal against limestone sent a shock singing up his arms.
“It’s getting late. You about ready to wrap up?”
Boone shot Jim a glance. Without speaking, he shook his head.
“Not easy, diggin’ postholes in the dark,” Jim observed casually.
Boone jammed the posthole diggers down in the hole and jerked around. “What the hell do you want, Jim?”
“It won’t help, you know.”
“We already agreed that this fence needs moving.”
“This fall. Not today. And you know that’s not what I’m talking about.”
Boone subsided then, staring off into the distance.
“Three weeks left, right?”
Boone nodded.
“You gonna waste them digging postholes or you gonna see if that little gal might change her mind?”
“She won’t.” Boone’s jaw tightened.
Jim cursed, long and low. “You asked her, flat out?”
“No. But she’s said it often enough.”
“You might could change her mind. I’ve seen her look at you.”
He shot Jim a glance. “What do you mean by that?”
“After the dance, she stared at you like you were some kind of hero.”
A thousand years had passed between him and Maddie since the dance. A thousand miles they’d traveled on a path leading nowhere.
“Leave it alone, Jim. There’s no future for Maddie and me.”
“So you’re just going to leave it at that? There’s nothing left of the boy inside the man?”
Boone’s head jerked up. “What does that mean?”
“I knew a fourteen-year-old boy who kept this ranch from going under through sheer will, when everything else in his life had fallen to pieces.”
“I had you to help me. And I left as soon as I could.”
“Four years later. Four years of hell. And anyone would have left. You came back when Sam needed you, even though he’d treated you like something he scraped off his boot.”
“And I managed to kill my wife and—” Boone swore at what he’d almost revealed.
But Jim didn’t notice. “You are going to beat yourself into the ground about that worthless woman until the day you die, aren’t you? And in the meantime, you’re going to let pure gold slip through your fingers.”
“You don’t understand.”
“I understand that you’re doing something I never thought I’d see from you. You’re giving up without a fight.”
“I’m trying to do right by her, damn it. There’s nothing for her here.” His already-strained temper exploded. “You tell me why a woman who could take New York by storm would want to settle for a piece of dirt in Texas, Jim. I sure as hell can’t figure it out. But you go ahead—figure out why in the hell Maddie would want to stay here, and I’ll be glad to fight to keep her.”
Jim looked only slightly chastened. “Maddie feels something for this place, more every day.”
Boone fought the urge to rub his chest where it ached. “But it’s not enough.”
The older man studied him. “Maybe she’s waiting for you to give her more reasons.”
He couldn’t let himself think about how much he wished that were true. And his pride kept him from telling Jim that he couldn’t stand not being enough for Maddie, watching that bright light dim as she got past the sentimental attachment to her grandmother’s place and realized that all he had to offer wasn’t enough.
“Luanne Mason has been talking about selling The Dinner Bell.”
Boone snorted. “Maddie’s got job offers in Manhattan. Why would she want a greasy spoon in Morning Star?”
“Maybe there’s more to Maddie than you realize. She’s been wandering for a long time. I think she’s hungry for someplace to belong.”
So far-fetched. Jim hadn’t seen her with Marlowe, hadn’t watched her eyes sparkle, discussing New York. But for one treacherous instant, Boone let himself think about Maddie staying. Even if The Dinner Bell only kept her here for a while, it would buy him time to bind her to him, to think of something else.