Then Dev laughed. It hurt her ears to hear it.
“He had a hell of a lot of nerve, I’ll hand him that. Tear our lives apart with one hand, dispense charity with the other. He must have had a real laugh.” His jaw worked as he ground out the words. “I got into a brawl one night, and got arrested. My mother called him to help and he came and bailed me out. I didn’t want his money. I forced him to let me work it off.” His eyes turned haunted, brilliant green dulled. “And that’s how I met you.”
The air in the room charged with memory.
“Worse luck for you,” he murmured. His gaze went fierce. “It’s like I told you—it was about revenge then. I wanted to hurt him, and I didn’t care how it happened. You were a means to an end.”
His voice went hoarse, dropped almost to a whisper. “You deserve to hate me. It doesn’t matter that I fell in love with you, that I never meant to hurt you. I did hurt you, and you’re still suffering for my actions.”
Dev turned away, moved to the door, agitation in every line of his frame. “There is no reason for you to forgive me—for then or for now. I made the wrong choices, and you paid the price.” His voice lowered. “Tell me who you want to come stay with you, and I’ll call them. I think I should leave.”
He waited for what seemed forever, his hand gripping the door handle. Finally, he heard a soft sob. He squeezed his eyes shut. Then he heard her.
“No.” Softly. Barely a whisper.
Dev turned. Haunted gray eyes lifted to his. Lacey shook her head, her voice full of tears when she answered. “There’s no one else I want.”
She studied him sadly. “I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you back then. I’m sorry I didn’t stand up to him when you asked me to go with you. If it’s any consolation, I never got over you.”
Afraid to hope, still he took a step toward her.
Lacey held up her hand to stop him. “I’m not much of a bargain, Dev. There’s a lot I don’t know.” She swallowed hard. “I don’t know how to feel about what my parents—what Charles and Margaret did. I don’t think I can live the way I have anymore or accept what I thought was mine, but I don’t know how to support myself or what I’m any good at doing.”
He saw resolve forming on her face. “But I have figured out that no one can decide any of that but me.” She reached toward him, then pulled her hand back. “One thing I already know is that you’ve paid as dearly as I have—probably more. I lived my life in the lap of luxury. I might not have felt that I fit, but I never once went hungry or had to think about taking care of anyone but myself.”
He closed the distance between them. “You were young and sheltered. I understand.”
She held herself away. “Do you? You shouldn’t. After what they did to you…”
“It’s over. What’s done is done. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that the past can choke you.” He caressed her jaw with fingers that weren’t quite steady. “I never meant to hurt you when I came back.” His voice tightened. “I am so damn sorry—I swear to you it wasn’t about revenge, not this time. I just didn’t know how to tell you the right way that you’re adopted. I knew it was going to tear your world apart, so I didn’t trust anyone else to do it—but then I put it off, telling myself that if I spent some time with you, I’d figure out the magic words.”
Her eyes studied him so solemnly. He didn’t know if he could ever make her understand.
“I tried to tell myself it was just a job, that it wasn’t personal.” He snorted softly at himself. “That delusion lasted about two seconds after I saw you again.”
Touching her chin gently, he tilted it up. “It’s personal, Lacey. It’s important. You’re important. I played it wrong, and you paid. I thought that if we could have some time together before I told you, maybe I wouldn’t have to lose you again. But I was wrong to do that. Selfish as hell. I just…”
Dev saw the tears shimmering in her eyes and knew he had to say it, had to try, even if he lost big. “I don’t deserve you, but I love you. More than my life, more than my honor, more than any hope of justice.”
Lacey’s fingers covered her lips as tears spilled over her lashes. He’d sell his soul to know what she was thinking, but whatever it was, he had to give her a way to find her peace with both families. If he could do that, then even if he lost her, she could go forward and build her new life. But he wasn’t conceding her yet.