"I'm twelve years older than you. I've done the college thing and the partying. I'm content with my life. You're just discovering who you are and what you want. We're not a good match."
"Sounds like you've put some thought into this." Into us.
"It's been on my mind for weeks. Last night I acted on my feelings. Today I took it further and that's why it's best if you move out. I'll still fulfill my promise to your dad. I'll take care of you and look after you. I'll provide you with whatever you need. I just can't have you staying here."
"It's not best for me, Chase. Please."
"I would think you'd want your own place. It's close to campus, right on the water. It's brand new and hasn't even been decorated. You can make it however you want. It's perfect."
Except you won't be there. "I want to stay here. I'll behave."
"Tessa, it's not that."
"I won't taunt you anymore. I like being here. I don't want to be alone." The heat stung her cheeks before the uncontrollable shakes took over. "I want to stay here..."
"Hey," he took her hands in his, "calm down."
"Don't make me leave."
"Help me understand, sweetheart." He led her to the family room. "What's going on?"
"I've been alone most of my life." She didn't want to rehash her past, but being in his house made all of her demons disappear.
He sat with her on the sofa, holding her hands in his.
"My dad worked a lot. Sometimes two jobs to keep things going. I was a latchkey kid. I ate dinner most nights by myself. I got up every morning alone and got myself off to school. I had to make my own lunch from the time I was in fourth grade. Sometimes we didn't have bread because he worked so much he would forget to go to the store. I hated it."
"That's why you wanted me to have dinner with you." He squeezed her hand. "You didn't want to be alone."
"I like being here." It was more than the spacious house with all the luxuries. It was so much more. "For the first time I feel like I have a home. I like spending time with you, hearing about your day and what's going on at the office. I like you asking me about my classes. My dad did what he could, but once my mom left he just didn't know what to do with me. I fended for myself. Then I ended up taking care of him."
"I'm sorry." He tucked her loose hair behind her ear. "I didn't realize how much being here meant to you."
"You don't need to apologize." She looked down at her lap. "You've done so much for me and my dad. You don't owe me anything. I'll go if that's what you want. I don't want to disrupt your life."
"I don't want you to go. Under the circumstances I felt it was the right thing to do, but I could be overreacting."
"I don't think what happened between us was wrong, but I understand your position." She didn't agree with it, but she couldn't throw herself at a man who had no interest in her. "I won't do anything inappropriate from now on. I'll even wear less revealing clothes if that helps."
When he laughed the knot that had been building in her stomach seemed to dissolve. "You can wear whatever you want. That's my problem, not yours."
"Can I stay?"
"Yes, of course." He glanced at their joined hands. "I shouldn't say this but I like having you here. I look forward to coming home every night."
"When you come through the door in the evening, that's the best part of my day."
"Why don't we give this another shot?"
He'd done a full one-eighty. "Thank you."
"How is your dad doing?" he asked.
"He loves the new place, but how did you know that's where I went?"
"When it started to get late I got worried so I called over there and asked if you had stopped in to see him."
She wondered if what really worried him was that she'd hooked up with another guy after threatening to earlier in the day. Did he even care about that? "I should have let you know where I was."
"As long as you're okay, it's all good."
"I'm better than okay." She smiled, feeling tremendously relieved. This may not have been the outcome she had hoped for when things heated up between them but now she knew how she felt. Even if he didn't feel that way.
***
Tess was dressed and waiting by the bench as he made his way down to the stream early the next morning. The sun was up despite the frigid autumn air and thick cloud coverage.
One week had passed since that clusterfuck of an afternoon in Chase's study. She kept her promise and left him alone. She didn't want to do anything to provoke him or worse, get herself kicked out of his house. She didn't want to leave. She liked being there. Having May in her life gave her a sense of peace she hadn't experienced in a very long time. She finally had a woman she felt close enough to share things with. Before May, she never realized how much she'd missed by not having a mother around.
Of course the real reason she wanted to stay had nothing to do with the kind older woman. Even if Chase didn't want her, she was still drawn to him. There was this connection they had both felt over the past few weeks and she wasn't willing to give up on it. She just had to figure out another way to get through to him.
"Tessa." He squinted as he made his way to her. "I didn't expect to see you down here this morning."
"Can I run with you today?"
"Of course."
"Cool." She headed down the path keeping pace with him. "I haven't seen you much lately."
"I've been busy at the office."
"I thought maybe you were keeping your distance from me again." She focused on the trail in front of her as the peaceful sounds of nature embraced them. She'd been trying all week to work up the nerve to run with him but after their talk she'd mostly stayed out of his way. Things seemed to go back to how they'd been when she first came to live with him. He worked late into the evening and she ate dinner alone. She'd hear him come in after she had already crawled into bed.
"Sorry, Tessa," he finally spoke. "I've been avoiding you and I feel like a major prick."
"Why?"
"Why am I avoiding you?"
"I know why you're avoiding me, but why do you feel like a prick?"
"You wanted to stay here because you said you were lonely." He picked up his pace, so she did her best to keep up with him. "I haven't done much this week to keep you company."
"I understand." She got where he was coming from. How could they be around one another after what had happened in the study? "Shit got awkward."
"Yeah." He laughed. "I'd say so."
She stole a quick glance at him as he ran. His strong jaw tensed as he spoke.
"This isn't how I wanted things between us," he continued. "I don't want it to be awkward."
"Me either." She gave him a playful shove, throwing them both off balance. "We're cool."
"Are you sure?"
"Totally." Her ponytail bounced ahead of him and she yelled over her shoulder. "Now let me kick your ass in this race."
"Race?" he called after her. "Who said this was a race?"
"I did," she giggled as she increased her lead, "and I'm winning!"
***
Chase followed Tessa through the trails, keeping close but letting her think she was winning. He didn't mind since the view of her tight, little behind kept his mind off the run. Everything she did, unknowingly or not, enticed him. How could he resist what was right in front of him?
"I'm going to win," she shouted as they cleared the tree line and saw the house in the distance.
"Do you really think so?" He chuckled as he sprinted by her, passing her with little effort.
"Hey!" she said. "That's not fair."
When he reached the porch steps he turned and grinned at her. She tried her hardest to sprint toward him but he saw how exhausted she was.
He met her on the lawn. She stopped and rested her hands on his chest, trying to catch her breath. "That was … invigorating."
"You look a little tired." He picked her up around the waist and hoisted her over his shoulder. "Let me help you out."
"Caveman!" She smacked the back of his thighs as she bounced against his back.
"Put that sweet girl down," May hollered from the back porch. "What's wrong with you?"
Sweet girl? Oh, May, if you only knew the thoughts she provokes within me.
From the way she glared at him, it looked as if May knew what Chase had been thinking about Tessa.