“You can never have too much chocolate,” Tessa countered, and took a petite sip of her shake. Her stomach was dancing the Cha Cha, and Tessa didn’t want to see what cha-chocolate looked like. She’d finish the shake when her belly was more stable.
“So tell me about a possible referral,” Tessa said.
Shawntay blotted her lips with a paper napkin. “It’s not a referral, Tessa, because it’s waaaay out of the box. I can’t put my seal of approval on it and I’m also not sure it’s a good match for you. But since more traditional therapists weren’t working out, I thought maybe you should know about it.” She shrugged her shoulders.
Tessa eyed the traditional chocolate shake in front of her, and wondered if Shawntay’s choice of milkshakes had been some kind of a test. If it had, Tessa feared she’d already flunked.
Bull by the horns, Tessa thought. She said a two-word silent prayer to the God she wasn’t sure she still believed in, and then repeated the prayer—now a plea: “Help me.”
Shawntay’s dark brown eyes softened. “Tell me something, Tessa. The personalities of the two therapists I referred you to, were they cold? Hard to relate to?”
Tessa thought a minute. “No, not really. They both seemed capable and willing to listen to me, to help me.”
“Were they assholes?”
Tessa opened her mouth, not sure if she was about to laugh with abandon or gasp primly. It ended up a laugh, but her cheeks flushed pink.
“Well?” Shawntay said.
“No. They both seemed like decent, capable people. After a couple sessions, neither of them made me feel like opening up. I knew it would be a waste of money, and worse, a waste of my time.”
“Kind of like your grief counselor. Before.”
“Yes. Though he did help me with some of my issues, I never let him in far enough to deal with the serious stuff.”
Shawntay nodded, and took another sip of her milkshake. “Ever have anything other than chocolate?”
“Sure,” Tessa said. “Vanilla. Once in a while, strawberry.”
“Would you feel unacceptably uncomfortable if you were pressured into Oreo Cookies and Cream? Or Peanut Butter Banana?”
The milkshakes were a test, and the sinking feeling in Tessa’s stomach told her she’d blown this ‘out of the box’ chance. Tessa thought about losing David, and all Davids after him, forever and ever. “If a Peanut Butter Banana milkshake is the path to finding peace and happiness, I’d drink one every day for the rest of my life.”
Shawntay studied Tessa’s face. “Alright then, let’s talk milkshakes.”
-5-
“I’ve heard about an institute that works only with women,” Shawntay said. “The institute doesn’t advertise, and it costs an arm, a leg and your first born child. It doesn’t take insurance and doesn’t accept new clients, except by referral. And I’d lose my job if I actually referred you to them, because my boss isn’t fond of this kind of therapy.”
Tessa was curious. What could be so revolutionary?
“From what I could find out,” Shawntay said, “their therapists are extremely well-trained, but they aren’t approved by the ABPN. In fact, they aren’t approved by anyone, except the women they’ve helped.”