Tessa's Escape to Athena's Ground(63)

                He added a little lube to Tessa’s entry and gently pushed himself inside. Russell’s size and the fullness added by the butt plug made Tessa moan.

                “Alright?” he asked.

                “Yes. It’s intense, but good. I feel like there are two of you in there.”

                “It’s like that for me too.” He thrust deeper and picked up speed.

                Tessa started to buck and moan. “Oh God, it’s intense. Intense…just don’t stop.”

                Russell found Tessa’s clit with his thumb and kept his hips moving. He drove into her deep and hard. She lasted only another minute. The moment he felt Tessa’s contractions, Russell let himself go. They both made noise: Russell a loud grunt and Tessa a throaty scream. They collapsed, together, in a heap of spent passion. Later, Russell removed Tessa’s plug and wiped her anus and cheeks with a warm wash cloth. They fell asleep in each other’s arms.





                ***





                An hour later, Tessa awoke; her mind and heart were buzzing like she’d chugged a half dozen Red Bulls. She’d had so many new experiences in such a short time, and for the first time in her life she was exploring her sexuality instead of hiding from it. She knew she should feel exhilarated, and on one level, she did. She knew she shouldn’t feel guilty, but on one level, she did. She knew she should feel alive and young and full of renewed hope, and on one level, she did…but on another, she felt as lonely as ever. No. Lonelier. She’d learned a lot about herself in Carmen’s office, but to what good if she had no one to share her life with? She thought about all the amazing things she was learning about her body; how to open up emotionally and physically in order to give and receive pleasure. But what good is it if you’ve no one special to share that pleasure with?

                Sex without emotional connection was just physical recreation, like spinning or Zumba without the orgasm. She wanted more than that; she wanted it all.

                Tessa slipped out of bed and quietly powered up her laptop.





                David,

                It’s the middle of the night and I find myself thinking about you. I don’t have anything I can report to you; I’m working on my issues and getting resolution. I’m happy with the way things are working out, but I think I had unrealistic expectations. Kind of like when an overweight person loses a bunch of weight and likes that they’re healthier, but is surprised that being thin doesn’t mean being happy.



                             I’m kind of like that now. The things I came to Australia to fix are being fixed, and that makes me feel good. They were things that stood in the way of my happiness. But like the dieter, I’m discovering that removing obstacles to happiness isn’t the same thing as becoming happy.





                Tessa looked at Russell, sleeping in her bed. As wonderful as he was, he was an instructor. A mentor. A therapist. Not a friend. Not a lover. Not David. Tessa wished it had been David, not Russell, rocking her world an hour ago. She finished the email.





                I so want to become happy. It feels possible now, but it also isn’t happening yet and that makes me very sad. I wish you were here.

                Tessa





                Tessa sent the email and powered off the laptop. It seemed strange that she could have the most amazing night of her life, and an hour later, feel so empty. She crawled back into bed, rolled over and cried herself to sleep.





-27-





                MONDAY