“Yes,” she said, hating that she was.
He introduced himself as Doctor Somebodyorother and he described what they had done to Tessa upon her arrival. Now she understood why her throat was so unhappy.
“Tell me about taking the pills,” Dr. Somebody said.
For an instant, Tessa thought about lying: I only meant to take a second one, after the first didn’t work, but I must have gotten confused. I don’t know how I ended up taking so many! Only an idiot would buy that, since Tessa had taken a whole bottle. This doctor didn’t look particularly stupid, so Tessa opted for the truth.
“I was so tired,” Tessa said. “I just wanted to escape.”
He nodded, as if he’d heard it before, probably because he had.
“Is there someone I can call for you?” The doctor glanced pointedly at the simple wedding band Tessa wore on her left ring finger.
“Mark,” Tessa whispered before she could stop herself.
“Pardon?”
Tessa shook her head. “I’m alone,” she said, thinking about David but knowing she couldn’t possibly go there.
Dr. Somebody shifted his weight from one foot to the other and cleared his throat nervously. Tessa wondered if he was about to commit her to life in the Looney Bin.
“I notice you’re wearing a wedding band. Can I talk to your husband?”
If Tessa hadn’t felt so weak, so wretched, she might have told him to call Theresa Caputo in Long Island. Two years ago, she’d almost tried it herself. Instead, she just said, “No. I’m not married.”
“Oh.” He looked puzzled. “The person who came in with you—Maria?—called you Mrs. Tessa, so, and your wedding ring…”
Tessa stared at him blankly and changed the subject. “When can I go home?”
“We’ll keep you in ER for a bit longer, just to make sure all your vitals are stable. But I’m not going to just flat-out release you. You attempted suicide, Ms. Donovan, and that’s serious business.” Tessa noticed her title had changed from missus to miz.
When she’d swallowed the pills Tessa thought of it as escape. It felt like the only smart thing to do. But now, hearing it from the doctor, it sounded clinically sick. Stupid. Pathetic. Like her life since Mark had left her.
“By state law, I can commit you to 48-hour observation. Since you don’t have a support structure outside the hospital, I’m going to do that.”
Now I’ve done it, Tessa thought. Looney Bin, here I come.
The doctor’s face suddenly softened, and Tessa realized her thoughts must have been written across her face.
“The hospital has an excellent team,” the doctor said. “Over the next two days, they’ll work with you to get the help you need. When you’re released, you’ll have a support network and a plan.” He gently patted the top of Tessa’s hand. “Now, get some rest. In a little while, we’ll get you admitted and moved into a room.”
To the doctor’s back, as he moved toward the door, Tessa whispered, “I’m sorry.” The words, so weightless the doctor didn’t hear them, were so heavy Tessa wondered how she could even breathe.