But his thinking process evaporated as she kissed her way down his body, as her hands cupped him, as she closed her mouth around him.
Damn the walls. She could have anything she wanted as long as she didn't stop doing what she was doing.
And she did exactly that … until he needed all of her, until he turned the tables, until they came together in a connection so intense and so deep that it blasted away whatever walls were left between them.
Kate hadn't just gotten past his defenses; she'd gotten into his heart.
Soon … he'd have to figure out a way to get her out.
But not now.
Now, she was his, and he was hers … and the outside world didn't exist.
* * *
Kate woke up wrapped in Devin's arms. She felt warm, safe, protected, and it was weird how much she liked the feeling. She'd been fighting for independence since she came out of the womb. She'd been trying to prove herself her entire life, that she was just as strong, just as smart, just as powerful as anyone else. But this morning, in Devin's soft bed, his hard body pressed against hers, she didn't want to be strong; she just wanted to be herself and to be here.
She breathed in deep, her senses tingling with Devin's scent. Her memories and her body reminded her of every touch, every kiss, that had passed between them.
He was going to be really hard to forget.
Did she have to forget him?
Of course she did. She had a career to go after. She was just starting her dream. Living out the ambition of a lifetime. She couldn't let a man get in the way.
But as she studied the hard profile of Devin's face, the strength of his jaw, the sexy grizzle of his shadowy beard, the firm lips that could both tease and tantalize, she knew that this man was not just any man.
He was Devin.
He knew her. He understood her. He didn't try to change her.
Not yet anyway.
No, he wouldn't try to change her. Just as he wouldn't try to change himself.
She'd gotten past his defenses last night, but they'd be back up today, probably as soon as he woke up. He'd been guarding his heart since his parents split up, since his dad died, and even more so since Sam was killed.
He'd been hurt many times, and she wanted so badly to take some of his pain away. She'd been able to do that for a while last night, but she was too smart not to know that sex wasn't a long-term answer to Devin's pain. He might not think he needed anyone, but he did. He'd been alone too long. He needed love in his life. He needed someone who cared about him.
But she couldn't be that person.
Devin's eyelids fluttered, and for a moment she thought he was waking up, but then he let out a little sigh.
This was her chance to escape. She could shower, get dressed, put her game face back on before Devin woke up. She could be at work on the computer while he was catching a few more minutes of sleep.
So why the hell wasn't she moving?
She took a deep breath and forced herself to move, but then Devin's arm came down heavy on her waist.
"Where are you going?" he asked sleepily, his brown eyes now open and on hers.
"Time to get back to work."
His gaze moved to the clock on the bedside table. "It's early."
"We have to go to my parents' house this morning. We should work before then."
"We will. We'll start here-in bed."
The teasing smile on his lips melted her heart and her resistance. "How are we going to work here?"
"You're going to show me again how helpful you can be."
He shifted his body and she felt his arousal. "I don't think you need any help," she said with a laugh.
"Oh, but I do. I need you, Kate Callaway."
She knew he was only talking about a sexual need, but she had the craziest feeling that she wanted the words to mean so much more.
He followed his words with a kiss and whatever lingering protest she'd thought to make completely vanished-because she needed him as much as he needed her.
Eighteen
They left Devin's apartment at eleven, and Kate felt a little breathless and rushed as she got into the car. They'd lost all track of time and had finally gotten out of bed and grabbed a quick shower before heading out of the apartment. Her hair was still damp, and she was quite sure that if her mother saw her now, she'd know exactly what her daughter had been doing for the last several hours.
"You okay?" Devin asked as she made a quick stop at a rapidly changing light.
"Sorry, yes, I'm fine." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just wishing we hadn't agreed to this."
"It will be fine. I won't chew with my mouth open or talk about how great you are in bed."
She glanced over at his teasing smile. "You're in a good mood."
"And you're responsible for that. The question is-why aren't you in a good mood?"
"I am. I'm just … I don't know." She couldn't find the right words, and the words that came to mind she couldn't say.
"Well, I think this is the first time you don't know what to say," he said, giving her a thoughtful look. "Let's talk about your family. Is Emma going to be there today?"
She was grateful to have a question she could answer.
"I don't know for sure. Everyone in the extended family is always invited, but we never know who's coming in advance. We have the brunches every Sunday after Mass. It rotates from house to house. It's a massive potluck. If you come, you bring something."
"Maybe we should stop and get something."
"My mom will have us covered. I'm pretty sure at least a few of my siblings will be there, Mom and Dad, of course, maybe my grandparents. My grandmother Eleanor Callaway has Alzheimer's, so if you see a pretty and elderly blonde woman with somewhat vacant blue eyes, you'll know why."
"Sorry. That must be rough."
"It is. She has good days but not as many as we'd like. My grandfather is devoted to her. He has become quite the caregiver, which surprised everyone a little. He's a gruff, brusque man and he doesn't show much affection for people, but he has a deep and abiding love for her. They've been married sixty-five years now."
Devin whistled under his breath. "That's a long time."
"They've had some trouble over the years, but my grandmother told me once that there has never been a moment in her life when her love faltered or that she considered breaking her vows. She married for life." She paused, realizing that Devin's profile had grown a little tense. "Sorry, I'm rambling, and I'm not being very sensitive. I just remembered that your parents split up when you were little."
"They definitely got over the idea of breaking their vows. In fact, I don't think they gave it a second thought."
"I can't imagine what you went through, Devin. As much as my parents make me crazy, I really liked having both of them around when I was growing up."
"What's your dad like? He seemed pretty relaxed at the bookstore. He let your mom do the talking."
"He's definitely quieter than she is. He's a rock. He's brave and confident, intensely loyal. He's the kind of man you want around when things are tough." As she said the words, she realized that she was describing Devin, too. They would both go to the ends of the earth for a friend. She glanced at Devin. "What was your dad like? He was an agent, so I'm thinking he had some good qualities."
Devin nodded. "He was a solid guy. He was strict. He had a lot of rules, and there wasn't much gray area for him. I think that's partly why my mother fell out of love with him. He was rigid. And, of course, he put his job first. He believed that he was working for the greater good."
"He could definitely make that case," she said tentatively, not sure her opinion would be welcome.
"He could, and he did-many times. I'm sure it was true. But maybe he shouldn't have gotten married, shouldn't have had a kid."
"Well, I'm glad he had a kid," she said, giving him a smile, and wishing she hadn't brought up his father, because she'd definitely put a dent in Devin's good mood.
But her words did bring a smile to his face. "Glad to hear it," he said. "So getting back to you. Are we going to the house you grew up in?"
"Yes. It's off the Great Highway and across the street from the ocean."
"You grew up at the beach?"
"I did. My brothers did a lot of surfing when they were teenagers, but I preferred to look at the water from the sand."
"I've never been a fan of surfing, either-all that waiting-in-between time. And around here the ocean is cold."
"Exactly. Hawaii, I might get on a board. San Francisco, you need a wet suit and a tolerance for gray skies and really cold water." She paused. "I think we should talk about how we're going to play our relationship."
"What's to talk about? I can handle a few questions from your family."
"You have no idea what you're getting into. They're going to ask how we met, our first date, what you like about me, what I like about you."