When my equilibrium returns I notice the music has stopped and the entire bar is silent. An angry sneer coming from a man I don’t recognize causes my heart to beat painfully in my chest. Why is no one helping me?
Life as I know it slows and then fast forwards like I’ve swallowed the “Drink Me” bottle from Alice in Wonderland and I’m tumbling down the rabbit hole. Everything is mute, and there’s a fierce atmosphere sucking the once happy vibes from the place.
I feel like I’m being pulled through a black hole. Every part of my existence is being tugged and torn until there will be nothing left of me but particles screaming to be whole again.
My insides heat and tingle, every molecule twisting and splintering. I’m not going to make it through the other side of whatever this is, not whole anyway. Everything will come back together but I won’t be the same. Part of me will be lost here and never recovered because his face appears.
Dalton.
Dalton appears next to the man who kicked my stool out.
Everything good and beautiful is gone from his eyes, like an eclipse happened inside him and the dark blocked out any light and warmth of the former host; my soul mate, my Dalton.
“She has some nerve, Ten! You can’t let her be here. It’s disrespectful.”
Ten?
The sound of fist hitting flesh and bone makes me gag. I’m dizzy from the fall and I can feel blood seeping into my hair from the hit I took to the head.
The man’s nose crumbles under the impact of Dalton’s fist, and blood leaks freely, staining the clothes he’s wearing.
“You don’t cause a scene like this in my place, or tell me what to do. You take it out back. I won’t tell you again.” Dalton growls.
He towers over the smaller man who doesn’t try to fight back, and I don’t blame him. Dalton’s tall, imposing frame alone is frightening, but the scowl on such a beautiful canvas is haunting. His full lips curl into sneer as he reaches down and drags me to my unsteady feet. The pinch of his long, thick fingers in the top of my small arm makes me gasp in pain. Murmurs from around the bar follow us until we reach a fire exit. He uses a heavy palm to open the door, and it nearly swings back and hits me, but the force of his grip and hurried pace has me hurtling forward before it has the chance. I can’t prevent myself from colliding with the wet concrete outside the door. A burning sensation ignites my knees and the palms of my hands. I’d only just managed to put my hands out in front of me, preventing further head injury. It takes my mind time to catch up with the reality of what’s happening.
Dalton is here. Dalton just threw you to the ground in a wet, trash-filled ally.
Turning my body to look up at the man who hurled me to the floor, I almost vomit
The ferocity of his anger brings a sickening tremor to my body. I’m scared of him. The boy who owns my soul is lost inside the eyes of the stranger standing over me.
“Dalton?” I manage to breathe, making him flinch.
The door re-opening gains my attention but not his. His eyes cling to me, undoing ten years of me trying to be a woman who doesn’t need to love him. With just one look, I’m that ten-year-old girl, captivated by the azure eyes that flashed with energy every time they saw me.
“I can’t believe it’s her,” came the voice of the person who has joined us.
I recognize her straight away; Lisa Marie. The same long golden blonde hair sweeps neatly over her slender shoulders. Her oval face holds delicate features, but she’s a wolf in a princess’ clothing. All through high school she was a bitch. Older than me by two years, and the girl I hated more than anyone. Her willowy frame steps forward, and before I can protect myself, her leg kicks out and her boot collides with my face. Shock freezes me. I can’t move to get away; I just lie here in pain. The warm trickle of blood from my mouth makes me gag and hurl bile to the ground. The blood against the cold rain thundering down on me scares me. There’s a lot, so I know I’m cut. A tug on my hair whips my head back and I prepare myself for another assault, but before Lisa can hit me again she’s tugged away by Dalton.
“Get off me! After everything she took from you, Ten, I’m going to kill her.”
There was that name again. Ten.
What I took from him?
He didn’t want anything to do with me. He never answered my letters.
“Get in! Now!” he roars, pushing her towards the exit door we left through.
“I’ll be seeing you, bitch.” She spits in my direction before sauntering inside.
Dalton’s heavy frame turns back to me and I wilt under the intensity of the anger radiating from him. “You shouldn’t have come here. Who the fuck do you think you are? I don’t ever want to see you here again, because next time I won’t pull anyone off you. I’ll let them give you what you deserve.”
What I deserve?
Cold rain seeps into my clothes and over my exposed skin, dampening my hair and causing it to stick to my face. I welcome the downpour; it obscures the tears falling from my eyes. I don’t want him to see me crying, to see me broken by his harsh, cruel words and behavior.
His stance emphasizes the raw power of his muscular body, the rain quickly drenching the cotton tee he’s wearing, showing the contours of his shoulders and chest, and as much as I’m hurting, the visual still quickens my pulse. His once bright blond hair is darker, and has lost its shape. Drops of rain bubble on his steel set jaw. He carries himself with a commanding confidence that makes me cower inside myself, preventing me from doing what I want to do.
I want to jump up and pummel my small fists into his chest, and scream at him.
“It’s me! It’s me! You loved me once and I will always love you! Don’t treat me this way. How dare you? You’re my soul mate. You’re my soul mate, God damn you!” But my worst fear is playing out in front of me, and the way he peers down at me like I’m the trash he just threw out curdles my soul. He really doesn’t care who I am or what we once shared. He’s a different person now and he’s forgotten me. Worse. He remembers me and he hates me.
Getting to my feet, I sway unsteadily, feeling nauseous. My face throbs from Lisa’s boot, and it causes anger to fire up inside me, my blood rages as my heart pounds heavily. I will never be a victim like this, not again.
I should have protected myself, defended myself, but I couldn’t comprehend everything that was happening, and it all happened so fast.
I use the wall to support myself and hobble down the alley with Dalton’s eyes burning a scar into my back. I was right. I’ll never be the same again.
I make it to my car and sobs burst from my chest. Patting down my damp, sore body, I learn my bag with my keys in is still on the bar. I want to scream into the rain but not be heard, and I know that’s not an option. Getting inside my car to get away from here as quickly as possible is what I need to do. Noticing a police car through the blur of my tears, I debate reporting the abuse I was just put through, but despite the pain in my heart over Dalton, I don’t want to bring attention to how he treated me or allowed others to treat me.
“Alex,” Lacy’s cautious tone calls out. “Oh, God. Look at you.” She shakes her head in sympathy, but I don’t need that from her. I needed her to help me when I was in the bar, but instead, like everyone else, she stood in silence.
“I brought your bag.”
I snatch my purse from her grasp and fumble inside for my car keys.
“I’m sorry, Alex,” she mumbles.
I turn, the anger raging to the surface. “Why didn’t you help me or get help? Why did no one help me in there?”
Shaking her head, she reaches to place her hands on my shoulders but I shrug her off. “It’s a Moore’s bar. It was a Moore, Alex. No one would dare, or bad things would happen to them too. I’m so sorry.”
I unlock my car and hastily jump in, turning the heating on full to warm my skin and dry off, but the drive back to my old home is done while feeling completely cold, and completely numb.
When I pull up, I run into the house, locking the door before sliding down it to the floor. My body trembles as the floods of emotion overwhelm me. I curl into a ball and let myself cry. I don’t know how long I lie there but my cell chiming pulls me from my misery. When I see that it’s DJ, I quickly swipe my tears and take a few deep breaths
“Hello, sweetie.”
“Hey. I know it’s late but I just wanted to say goodnight.”
“Missing me already, huh?”
“Always, but Leon is so cool, so don’t worry about me. He took me shopping for my new guitar.”
“That’s wonderful, baby. I miss you so much already. I don’t plan to stay here long.”
“Are you crying?”
“No, silly. I’m just tired. It’s been a long few days.”
“Okay. I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, baby. Goodnight.”
Hearing from my son, our son, only makes my heart crumble more. Dropping the phone to the floor, I lie amongst the dirt. Physically, I am here. Mentally I’m far, far away.
I was fourteen when I had my first kiss. I’d mastered climbing Dalton’s tree years before, and when he didn’t sneak through my bedroom window to spend the night, I snuck out and climbed the tree into his room. He wasn’t there once I made it up, so I curled up in his bed to wait for him.