Ten(26)

“You will always be that boy.” I swallow. “And I will always be that girl, missing you. I was haunting myself because a part of me died but couldn’t move on when you went away. My light dimmed and I hid it behind fake smiles. I put on my Mom face for our son, so he wouldn’t know that I wasn’t a whole person because my other half was taken and he never let me come see him. I felt physically weakened by not being near you. I know it doesn’t make sense.”

“It does. I know exactly what you mean because it’s how I felt every fucking day. Only I thought you helped send me away. It was like being dropped in acid and having everything I thought was real stripped and burned away until there was nothing left but scar tissue and a hate so powerful it molded me into someone I didn’t recognize. I don’t want to be that person.”

“Who do you want to be?”

“I want to be someone new. A father. I want to be a better person for him. For you.” He walks back to the bed and grasps my hand. “Will you let me try? I can’t lose you again. I can’t live without you. Please, Alex. Will you stay even though I’ve given you every reason not to? Will you love me even when you hate me? Please will you choose me?”

“I would have always picked you, Dalton. People like us, who are meant to be together, always find a way back to each other, even if we have to take detours to get there. Never let me go again,” I beg him, grabbing at him to pull him against me. “Promise me you won’t leave me again.”

“Never. I promise. I fucking promise.”





It’s been a week. I’m feeling a lot better but still tender. The bruises are bold and ugly. I can’t stand seeing myself in the mirror so I avoid them. Leon wants to know what my plan is when I’m released later today and I honestly don’t know what to tell him. Dalton and I haven’t really discussed our future, and he has the bar and Six here. I don’t want my son here with his uncle but I don’t want to leave without Dalton either. I need time to fully recover and get my head in the right place. DJ has school; I need to go home. Mom didn’t come back after the day I told her I didn’t want her here, and I’m pleased, but a part of me is disappointed that she gave up so easily, that she didn’t even apologize.

Dalton informed me that it was Lisa who ran me off the road, and that the police are holding her for attempted murder. They said she cut my brakes beforehand, but Dalton was honest with me and told me it was his psychotic uncle. My Mom had filled out all my insurance forms back when I had DJ, and on them she put Jonah as my next of kin instead of her. I won’t get to ask her why, but Keith thought Jonah would be contacted and come here if he thought I was hurt. He was wrong.

I fear for Jonah. Keith has his own addiction that involves getting even with our family, and that means getting to Jonah. I hate that he’s so hell bent on causing all this crap after ten years. My Dad died, and according to Keith, that marked the end of any deal he made with him. I’ll never be safe here and neither will DJ. Dalton knows this and keeps telling me that I won’t have to worry. But I do. I worry what that means, and what he intends to do.

“You ready?”

“Where are we going?” I ask Leon as he enters the room with the doctor who has discharged me. I move from the bed to the wheelchair he’s holding for me.

“Dalton has had your Dad’s place sorted with furniture for us for the time being, but I’m ready to take you home anytime you are.”

“Thank you, Leon, for everything.” I grasp his hand and squeeze. I was unfair to him. This must be so difficult for him, and I don’t know how I can fix that. “You don’t have to stay, you know?” I offer meekly.

“Do you want me to go?” He sounds offended and that was not my intention.

“God, no. Of course not. I just know you have a life and work, and you’ve already done so much.”

“Alex, you were nearly killed and you’re sticking around here. Like hell am I leaving you here on your own.”

I don’t tell him I won’t be on my own. I just smile up at the man who has been my best friend through the loneliest years of my life. I don’t like the thought of going back to my childhood home, but I’d rather be there than in the center of town in a hotel.




Anxiety stiffens every muscle in my body as I get in the car. Crunching metal and the whistle of the wind as it was pulled through the smashed windows echo around my head, and I have to put the radio on to drown it out.

“Are you okay?” Leon asks, and I smile firmly. “I’ll go slow, okay?”

“Okay.”

We pull up at the house and Dalton is tying a big banner that says:



A little laugh pulls from my chest. DJ bounds towards the car. He opens my door and throws his arms around me.

“I have my own room here, Mom.” He beams at me. I look over to Dalton who shrugs his shoulders.

Leon takes my arm and helps me across the lawn, but is quickly replaced by Dalton who wraps an arm around my waist and practically carries me towards the house.

“I wanted him to feel comfortable here,” he informs me, opening the front door. My mouth drops open.

The inside looks like a completely different house. There’s a scent of fresh paint and everything looks new and revitalized. There’s brand new furniture including a huge TV on the wall above the fireplace.

The floors have been polished and now have huge rugs decorating them.

“How did you do all of this?” I ask, astonished.

“You’ll be amazed what money can accomplish.”

“But this must have cost a fortune

“It’s nothing, Alex. You’re my family.”

“But I’m not staying here, Dalton, not for the long term.”

I hate that he spent a fortune doing this place up when I plan to go home soon.

“We can talk about that.”

“I can’t be here with your uncle. I won’t put DJ at risk.”

He stares into my eyes for a few silent beats. “I would never risk either of you. Trust me, okay?”

I study his features and gaze into his blue beautiful, truthful eyes. “Okay.”

“Mom!” DJ shouts from my old room.

I let Dalton help me go to him. The room is nothing like it used to be. It’s been transformed into a kid’s dream room. One wall is lined with guitars and my mouth drops. They must have cost more than a car. There are gadgets set up, including every games console available, and another huge TV on the wall. Dalton knows what I’m thinking because he defends himself before I even open my mouth.

“He’s been through a lot. I just want him to feel comfortable. I missed a lot of birthdays.” He shrugs, looking vulnerable. Holding my stomach, I reach up on my tiptoes and place my lips against his. He sighs into them and sends my head swirling.

“I need to go somewhere and I won’t be back until tomorrow.”

“Where?” I ask, and then feel nosy. Am I supposed to want to know or…? I’ve never really been in a relationship so I don’t know where we stand.

“I need to go visit my Dad, but I’ll be back tomorrow. Leon is going to stay and Six is across the street.”

“Okay.”

He grasps my face possessively, holding me captive in his gaze. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, and when I am, we can do whatever you want, even if it’s leaving here.”

The warmth of his breath caresses over my lips before he closes the gap and kisses me softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”




Sitting at the dinner table, everything feels fake, like we’re sitting in a show home pretending to be a real family. We’ve sat like this so many times before, but now there’s this atmosphere thick in the air that’s suffocating.

“Mom, can I go now?” DJ bounces in his chair, desperate to go to his room to play with his new stuff.

“Sure, baby.”

“Yes!”

Leon’s eyes follow DJ. I get up to clear the table but Leon’s hand comes down on top of mine to stop me.

“I’ll do it.” I want to say no, it’s fine, but it’s not. I’ve overworked myself just moving around and I’m exhausted.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

I look over at him, my brow dipping in concern. “What?”

“I want you to pick me. Come home with me.”

“Leon,” I whisper, dropping my head.

He stands and kneels before me, taking my hands in his. “I know you don’t feel that way about me, but you could if you tried.”

I pull my hands from his. “Don’t you think I’ve tried? Don’t you think I know how amazing you are? I do and I would have given anything for the pain to have ceased and my heart opened up for you but it doesn’t work on will.”

“He hurt you so bad, Alex. I’d never hurt you.”

“Love is painful, Leon. Real love worth having makes you feel, and sometimes feeling hurts. If it’s not making you feel, then it’s not enough.”

“Love should heighten everything good in your life, not darken it.”

“Sometimes that darkness is seeking out someone to shine light on it.”

Stunning me, he leans up and takes my mouth with his. Pulling away I stare down at him. “Leon.”