I was sick and tired of fighting my primal desire to own him. I was done denying myself what I wanted, and oh how I wanted Trent. For so long, I’d put everyone else before me, and wasn’t it time I did something that I wanted?
I licked my lips, my breath echoing against the tile walls. Neither of us said anything. We simply stared, chests heaving, waiting for the other to make the first move.
I swallowed thickly and forced myself to turn around and face him.
My eyes connected with his once more and butterflies took up residence in my stomach. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I cleared my throat and tried again, knowing these very words could change my life.
“I want you.”
His eyes flashed with desire and he stalked towards me. I found myself backed against the bathroom counter. He grasped my hips in his large hands and stared down at me. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.”
One hand stayed planted on my hip, while the other tangled in my hair, pulling my face towards his. His lips were against mine again for the second time in a matter of minutes. But this was nothing like the kiss we’d previously shared. While that one had been hot and demanding as he tried to prove a point, this one was a slow boil, simmering in my veins. I found my legs wrapping around his waist and suddenly my back was pressed against the tiled wall and my fingers were wrapped around the silky strands of his dark hair. His tongue twined with mine in a sensual duet. He groaned low in his throat and the sound sent a shiver down my spine. My legs wrapped tighter around his waist and his arousal pressed against me. Holy shit.
He nipped at my bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth and letting it go with a pop. I swore my temperature had risen ten degrees. Sweat broke out across my skin from the heat we were creating.
He dotted kisses down my neck and back up, latching his lips onto mine. I knew I wasn’t just being kissed—I was being devoured—and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying it.
Being kissed like this was an all-consuming thing. I couldn’t think about anything except the feel of his lips on mine and his body pressed against me.
He broke away, panting, and rested his head against the curve of my neck. He stayed where he was, holding me against the wall, with my legs still around his waist.
“Fuck,” he breathed.
“Why’d you stop?” I panted, my fingers curling into his hair.
He pulled his head away from my neck to look at me. “I think it’s pretty obvious that I want you,” he pressed his hips into me and I gasped, “but not here and not like this. You deserve better than a public restroom and I…” He swallowed thickly, his eyes briefly closing. “I deserve to know that you do actually want this. I won’t be able to handle it if you tell me you do and the next day you’re back to ignoring me.”
It hit me then that Trent was actually a pretty sensitive guy. What I had done to him—what I’d been doing—had hurt him. But I’d been hurt too and my heart was shattered beyond repair. I wanted him, though. That much was true. However, I didn’t think I could give myself to him completely. I had to hope that what I had to offer would be enough for both of us—for now at least, because I knew Trent would eventually find someone better suited for him than me. Besides, I’d never be able to let him in all the way. I couldn’t tell him everything. It was wrong of me to want him for whatever time we could have. We’d both be better off if I spoke up and told him that I couldn’t do this—that I had lied and I didn’t want him. But I couldn’t make myself form those words. Instead, “I do. I want this. I want you,” came tumbling out of my mouth. A huge grin lifted his lips and he kissed me again.
Dread began to fill my stomach. I knew I’d just signed our death sentence, because there was no way my secrets would ever be able to stay buried, and when they surfaced we’d explode like a supernova. After that, it would be the end of Trent and me. No banter, no running from him, no kissing, no nothing, because I would never see him again. He’d remove himself from my life and it would all be over. Despite what I tried to tell myself, I did enjoy Trent’s random popups. Seeing him made me feel alive when I was dead inside. Without those brief moments of aliveness I’d become nothing. I was already nothing, but I’d cease to exist all together.
It was too late though.
I couldn’t take back my words.
I had sealed our fate and all I could do was enjoy this exhilarating ride until it came to an explosive end.
chapter six
The library door clicked closed behind me. It was late and I knew Tristan and Ivy were starving. I needed to get home and make them dinner. I hoped they both had their homework done so I wouldn’t have to bother with that.