Trace finally got Tristan dressed and then we had to go.
After the coroner had performed an autopsy, they’d discovered my mom died from a lethal mix of alcohol and drugs. I had obviously been ruled out a suspect then—if I really had been one.
Trace’s family was paying for her funeral since I couldn’t afford it, and that pained me. I didn’t want them feeling obligated to help me, especially with something like this, but I’d had no choice but to let them.
Outside, Olivia waited in their Land Rover, waving enthusiastically when she saw us leaving the apartment. I saw Dean in the back, banging his hand against the window and leaving smudged prints.
“Thanks for doing this,” I whispered to Trace, “and thanks for coming here so we don’t have to go alone.”
“We’re here for you,” Trace pulled me into a hug when we reached the end of the steps. “We’re your family. Don’t ever doubt that.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I confessed.
Ever since things blew up with Trent and then again with my mom, Trace had become my savior. He looked out for the kids and me. It meant a lot to me—more than I could express, especially since I wasn’t the type to appreciate help. Trace had a way about him that made it so you couldn’t help but like him. I could see why Olivia fell for him.
“We’ll see you there,” Trace smiled, getting in the Land Rover.
I buckled Tristan into his booster seat and Ivy climbed into the spot beside him, buckling her seatbelt.
I closed the back passenger door and stood outside for a moment. I inhaled the fresh spring hair, thankful that this late March weather was surprisingly warm. I needed that warmth on a day like today to blanket me in comfort.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
I could do this.
There was nothing to be afraid of.
We were burying her today.
That was it.
Nothing bad was going to happen.
She was gone.
It was over.
It was over; I repeated the thought. I wanted to cry out with joy. Today truly did mark the first day of the rest of my life.
I got in the car, smiling at Tristan and Ivy as I looked back at them in the rearview mirror.
“Everything is going to be okay,” I whispered. “I promise.”
“I know,” Ivy smiled.
I spoke to the kids about random things as I drove to the cemetery. I wanted to distract them from what we were about to face. They’d never had to deal with death before, and while neither of them missed the woman we’d all once called mom, I knew it would be a difficult experience full of curious questions. I hoped I was prepared.
I parked behind Trace’s Land Rover and walked with the kids across the cemetery lawn to where I knew the casket would be waiting.
Trace and Olivia were already there. I was shocked to see Ellie, Trent and Trace’s grandma, as well as their mom Lily.
Lily held a squirming Dean, while Trace and Olivia stood a few feet away. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched Trace stare at his wife lovingly, his fingers stroking her small baby bump.
I was touched by the gesture of them all being there. Trace was right. They were my family, and I needed to stop acting like an outsider. Tristan would forever be a part of their lives, which meant I would be too.
My mouth fell open as disgust clogged my throat. Jim was there, dressed in stained black pants and a white t-shirt. There was nothing remotely nice about what he wore—not that it mattered, but I couldn’t believe he was daring to show his face here after what he’d tried to do to me. Besides, I didn’t think he’d ever loved my mom. They’d both used each other for different reasons, reasons I didn’t want to even contemplate.
As I met the group, I refused to look at or acknowledge Jim. He was scum and didn’t deserve my time. Just looking at him was giving me the creeps. After today I’d never have to see the man again.
I took my seat, which was unfortunately beside Jim, and settled the kids.
The others sat down in the chairs behind us.
I heard voices, and for a brief moment hope sparked and I believed that Trent had heard about my mom and shown up. It wasn’t him, though. It was Jude and Tatum, making their way through the dewy grass. Tatum’s shoe got stuck and Jude grabbed ahold of her arm to keep her from falling. She leveled him with a glare, shouting something about not needing his help. Those two were ridiculous.
“I’m glad you guys are here,” I stood to greet them, hugging each of them. I was overcome with a feeling of…completeness. Trace and Olivia were here, as were Ellie and Lily, and now with Jude and Tatum joining us, I realized that I wasn’t as alone as I’d always believed. I’d been so blinded by my mom’s hatred for me, that I didn’t think anyone else could ever care for me. I was wrong though.