Tempting Raven (Curse of the Vampire Queen #1)(53)

I shrug. "Writing down my thoughts."

He eyeballs the notebook. "What sorts of thoughts?"

"The ones in my head," I tease with a smirk.

He rolls his eyes. "Such a smartass."

"Don't pretend like you don't enjoy it." I dunk the tip of the pen in a vial of ink. "What're you up to today?"

He slants against the doorway with his arms crossed. "I was thinking that I might start training you today."

I perk up for the first time since I arrived at the castle. "I thought you said I had to wait until my powers manifested before I did that."

"I did." He nibbles on his lip, mulling something over. "But I think it might be time to change things up a bit. Maybe take a new path."

"I'm not sure what you mean." I hop off the bed. "But I'm definitely up for training."

He smiles, but the happiness doesn't reach his eyes. "Do you want to feed first to build up your strength?"

I crinkle my nose. "I don't know  …  The last time I almost lost control."

He rubs his lips together, deciding. "You know, you could always just let go."

I shake my head. There's no way I'm going to feed from his vein until I must. Not after he spent years making me miserable.

Hurt flashes in his eyes. "Okay. But eventually, you'll have to."

"Eventually." Unless I can convince Fate that I wasn't meant to be queen.

Sighing, he straightens. "Get dressed in some comfortable clothes and meet me in the main chambers."

I smile and nod, waiting until he shuts the door before letting my calm mask drop. Then I rush back to the bed, scoop up my notebook, and hurry toward the bookshelf. Patting my hand against the side, a secret compartment I had Dex install drops open. 

"Hopefully, he'll show you these when the time is right," I whisper to myself as I stuff the notebook in the middle of several other notebooks, all of them blank but one. "Maybe you can put the pieces together better than I can." Then I close the compartment and move for the closet to get changed, preparing to meet my fate  …

My eyelids pop open, and I suck in a gasping breath, dizziness swirling through my head. Blinking several times and rubbing my eyes, I clear the cloudiness the sleep spell instilled in me and drag my ass over to the table where I left the notebook Dex gave me.

My fingers tremble for unknown reasons as I open it to the first page and read the words scrawled in my handwriting:

Hopefully, this is Raven reading this. If not, you're probably going to get upset. Consider yourself warned.

Raven, if this is you, I'm going to get straight to the point. Your story always starts the same. You're born, you grow up being tormented by Rhyland and Kingsley, then you and Rhyland get chosen as king and queen and everything changes.

Everyone you thought you cared about is playing you. Your parents, Rhyland, Kingsley. They all know what's going on and they all pretend they don't, but I think they might be silenced by magic that forbids them to speak of the curse.

If you have friends, though, you can probably trust them-they aren't part of this since you rarely have them. But everyone else probably is. Trust no one; otherwise, you'll never figure out the end game to this vicious cycle that goes around and around.

You're probably wondering what I mean by cycle. You probably wonder it every time you read this.

I know what you're thinking. That you haven't read this before, but you have. Many, many times. Just like you've lived this cursed life many, many times. You're stuck in a loop, forced to live the same life over and over again. Although, occasionally, the cards change or get messed up. But all the players are always the same, your mom, Rhyland, Kingsley, and the fey queen are the biggest players. The fey queen is probably the worst. In fact, I have my suspicions she caused the curse to begin with. I just haven't figured out why she cursed you.

But what I do know is trust no one. Not until you figure out what's going on, what the point of this all is, why you're under this spell, cursed to live the same tragic life over and over again.

They'll try to tell you that you're in danger because of the rebellion, but the rebellion has nothing to do with this. In fact, the rebellion only exists because of this, growing bigger and more powerful every time you die. It's all part of the curse. A curse only you can break. You just need to figure out how.

And make sure to document all the secrets you find in this notebook. That way, you have an easier time figuring out the puzzle next time.

Hopefully, this is the last time you have to read this.

I flip to the next page.

Tonight, Rhyland kissed me underneath the moonlight after giving me a fire seer falcon for a pet. I was excited to get the fire seer falcon, but secretly had been wishing to have a lilywolf tiger for a pet. He also gave me this beautiful choker with a rose pendant that I'm pretty sure he's given me before …