Except what if it didn’t work out? Losing him now would hurt…but losing him later, after she fell completely and hopelessly in love with him and built a life with him…that would destroy her. Unequivocally and irreparably.
“I can’t,” she whispered through her tears. “I’m so sorry.”
He lowered his gaze to stare off into the distance. “So am I.” Even with how far away he was, Alyssa swore she saw moisture gathering in his eyes. Seeing him so hurt and knowing she was the cause, it was all too much.
She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the column. “Dillon…”
“I’m sorry, Alyssa. Truly I am. I never meant to ruin your weekend, much less our friendship. I think it’d be best if we have some time apart. My dad wants me to help the foreman at the Colorado Springs location for a while, so I guess I’ll head down there. Later, Aly-gator.”
Hearing the call disconnect, she whipped her gaze down to where Dillon had been standing only moments before. “Dillon? Dillon.”
She knew he was no longer on the other end of the phone, just as he was no longer standing below like Romeo denied access to her balcony, or worse yet, her heart.
Chapter Ten
The world pulled out of focus. Colors and shapes fused together before her eyes. The myriad pitches in the din around her melted into a muffled monotone that plugged her ears and pressed in on her brain.
Fingers snapped in front of her face. “Earth to Alyssa. Hellooooo.” Finally registering that Trent had been calling her name, she turned her head in his direction. He gasped and gathered up her hands. “Honey, what’s wrong? You look like me when Barneys has a huge sale but all my cards are maxed out.”
Her body was a contradiction of reactions. Never one to give in to hysterics or public displays that might draw attention, Alyssa locked her expression in place like that of a Botox patient. A nondescript visage that belied the pain and sadness welling inside her, except for the silent tears that slid down her cheeks.
“I think I just lost the most important person in my life,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “I don’t know what to do, Trent. I don’t know if I can fix it. What do I do?”
“Oh, you poor thing, come with me.” Taking her hand, Trent led her through the crowd of masquerade attendees and through a door he used a special key card to open.
Inside, a cozy office held a mahogany desk, a wine-red antique settee in place of guest chairs, and a small bar with mini-fridge. Bookshelves lined with copies of everything from encyclopedias to historical fiction to romance novels, all with worn covers that showed they’d been well loved over the years. The only odd element was the wall made primarily of one massive window that overlooked the ballroom.
“Welcome to my home away from home.” He closed the door and ushered her to the settee. “Here, sit. Can I get you something to drink? Whiskey and water, hold the water?”
She plopped onto the plush cushion in a graceless heap. “Hold the whiskey,” she managed. As lovely as it would be to drink until all her senses were numb, she didn’t want the morning to be riddled with more regrets than she already had due to impaired judgment.
Trent emptied a cold bottled water into a glass and handed it to her as he sat. “Now tell me what happened, from the beginning.”
So she did.
She told him about meeting Dillon in the third grade and how he didn’t treat her like a freak for skipping grades and stuck up for her when the other kids teased her. How they became so inseparable that people viewed them as a package deal, like Siamese twins. It was assumed that by inviting one you invited them both.
She informed Trent of everything he needed to know and even rambled about things he didn’t. She relayed important events in chronological order, then veered off to reminisce about a particular story before bringing herself back to the time line of facts.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, Alyssa knew Trent didn’t need to know most of it, and yet she couldn’t stop. Couldn’t bring herself to get to the point in the story that mattered. The part that started with him appearing in a Tarzan costume, continued with him awakening feelings in her she never knew existed, and ended with him leaving in a tuxedo meant for romance.
Because if she did that—if she said it out loud—the bad dream would become a reality she wasn’t ready to come to terms with.
But then she told him about their weekly dates with reality TV, specifically the one from a few days before where she told him her plan for this weekend and he freaked out on her. And how he showed up out of nowhere and pretended to be a cover model to gain access to the event and then had shocked the hell out of her by suggesting she scratch her sexual itch with him.