“I have a choice?”
He merely smiled and stepped away as the elevator stopped and the doors slid open. I walked out and headed back to my room. Berna and Nerida weren’t in their beds, which given the ratio of men to women in the arena didn’t entirely surprise me. And some men did prefer their bedmates at least willing rather than simply paid vessels of satisfaction. Though I guess that’s exactly what those of us who were here as fighters were anyway—we just had a little more choice in the matter.
I hesitated near the foot of my bed, briefly consumed by the ache of tiredness. I wanted to sleep, to just lay down and forget Merle and Starr and every other weirdo in this godforsaken place. But sleep wasn’t an option just yet, because I had a lizard to meet, a brother to find, and an ache to ease. I grabbed my toiletries bag and headed for the shower. A good scrub washed the smell and feel of Merle from my skin, but did nothing for the trepidation curling through my gut. I needed to talk to someone now, not later, and the only choice I had was Jack.
I headed outside, ensured no one was within listening distance, then lightly pressed the com-link. “Hey, boss, you awake?”
“About time you reported in,” he growled. “I was starting to worry.”
Yeah, he was so worried he’d sent in the rescue troops. Not. “You’re the one who insisted on sending in the amateur. Don’t whine at me if I don’t do things the way you want them done.”
He grunted. What that meant was anyone’s guess. “What’s happening?”
I headed up the small path that snaked around the building and on to the zoo. “Several things. Some good, some bad.”
He sighed. “Tell me.”
“Well, I’ve rubbed groins with Merle and made him a happy, happy man. And I’ve discovered that, with a little effort, I can slip through his thoughts, though I didn’t dare go too deep tonight.”
“Glad caution won out for a change.” He paused. “So there weren’t psi-deadeners in the lower areas?”
I hesitated, but the fact was, sooner or later he was going to have to know about my apparent ability to override the force of the deadeners. It might as well be sooner. And at least he couldn’t rip me into the Directorate for more tests. “There are. My talents are apparently slipping under them.”
“We noted a slight increase last time we tested, but it wouldn’t have been powerful enough to slide past deadeners.”
“Would it have been powerful enough to breach Quinn’s defenses?”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, then, “When did that happen?”
“Yesterday. I did catch him by surprise, mind.”
“It shouldn’t have mattered.” Again the silence stretched a little, and if I didn’t know better, I would have thought he was worried. “It’s six months since you were given the ARC1-23. This could be the first sign that it is changing you.”
“Or it could simply mean that Dia is right, and my talents are maturing thanks to the fact I’m finally menstruating.” There was nothing like clinging to a forlorn hope until the very last moment, but what other choice did I have? I wanted to be normal—wanted to have a normal life. Well, as normal as a half-werewolf, half-vampire guardian could, anyway. I didn’t want to be some freak monitored by the labs for every little outlandish change the drugs made. “Wolves do mature slower than humans. And remember, neither Rhoan nor I have any idea what our father was, besides a vampire. He could have been a hawk-shifter with massive psi-talents before his undeath, for all we know.”
“There were indications of latent talents in all previous tests, I’ve told you that. But latent doesn’t always mean those talents will develop.”
“Maybe it’s a result of the training you’ve been giving me.”
“Two weeks ago you couldn’t have broken through my full shields, let alone Quinn’s. If that’s what you did, then this is more than maturing talent. You’ll have to come in for full tests once this mission is over.”
I closed my eyes, blew out a breath. It did nothing to ease the deep rush of hatred and anger. The end of my life as I knew it was one step closer, and I had Starr and his fucking desire to not only build the perfect killing machine but take over the world—or at least the Melbourne section of it—to thank for it. If he’d been near me right then, I would have killed the bastard and been done with it, no matter what the consequences.
“I never wanted to be a guardian, Jack. You know that.”
“There’s only two places that can give you the sort of help you need to control the power you seem to be getting—us, or the military.”
“I don’t want anything to do with the military.”
“Then my option is the lesser of two evils.”
Which wasn’t really saying much.
“What else happened?” he said.
I rubbed a hand across my eyes. “I’ve met Starr. He’s not living on the same planet as you and me. You know that, don’t you?”
“He may be insane, but he’s also extremely clever. Remember that.”
“I will.” I hesitated. “He asked me if I was from the red pack. He seems to think he knows me.”
Jack swore. “That’s not good.”
“Oh, it gets worse.”
“How much worse?”
“I’m about to find out.” I rounded the corner of the building and walked onto the soft grass. The night breeze stirred around me, filled with the scent of animals and captivity. Up until that moment, I would have sworn that captivity didn’t have a smell, but there it was, filling the night with an odd sense of frustration, desperation, and hopelessness.Odd that such things had aromas.
Odder still that I could smell them. I might have the nose of a wolf, but until that moment, fear, lust, and death were the strongest emotions I’d caught.
Though technically, death wasn’t an emotion. Just a passing that lingered, a sadness staining the air.
“Merle and Moss have a spirit lizard houseboy. He’s apparently sensitive to the use of psychic power.”
“I take it he knows you were reading Merle and didn’t report it?”
“Yes. But he did want a meet.”
“Any chance it’s just for sex?”
“If he’s sensitive enough to catch auras, I have no doubt he’s mightily aroused and needing relief. But there’s no way known I’m going to be a good fuck-puppy when it comes to him.”
“Riley—”
“His dick has spines, Jack.”
“Oh.”
“Oww is more like it.” I grinned faintly. “But I think he wants a whole lot more than sex.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to have an ally in that place.”
“If he can be trusted.”
“Rely on your instincts. I do.”
Only trouble was, my instincts had been wrong before. And this time, there was no one near to bail my butt out. “I’m heading to meet him now.”
“Be careful. Keep the line open.”
“Natch.” I glanced up as high metal fences came into view. “I’m almost there.”
“Just be prepared to kill him if things go wrong.”
I didn’t answer. If things went wrong, I’d do what I had to do to preserve the mission and keep everyone—including myself—safe. But killing wasn’t something I wanted to become comfortable with—even if that’s exactly what Jack wanted.
I walked up the small knoll and stopped. The zoo stretched before me, metal and wire entwined with desperation and anger. The things inside might be caged, but they certainly weren’t accepting or passive. Which pretty much explained why so many guards went missing. Any misstep was taken as a chance of revenge.
I scanned the cages, taking in the array of creatures, then headed left, to what looked to be the main entrance. Cages containing blue creatures with wings gave way to spiny trolls which in turn gave way to fish people. Few of them slept. Most of them were awake and watching.
Their misery resonated deep in their eyes, deeper inside me. I hated it—hated that I was feeling it. I couldn’t do anything for these things from nightmare and imagination. They’d been bred for death, and that’s exactly what they’d get, whether from Starr or the Directorate. It wasn’t fair, but life often wasn’t.
I hated that, too.
Iktar stood, arms crossed, near the main gates. The light above the gates caressed him, making his skin glow blue-black and his eyes eerily luminescent. His cock was nowhere in sight.
Thankfully.
I stopped just beyond the pool of light. “Isn’t this a little dangerous? They have cameras monitoring the zoo surrounds, don’t they?”
He nodded. “And laser sensors. But whenever Moss and Merle take women, I am given time to come here.”
My gaze went past him, and for the first time I noticed shadows in the shadows. More spirit lizards, and of both sexes. “For relief?”
“Yes.” He smiled. “As you saw, I am incompatible with human flesh.”
“And why would they give you time? You are nothing more than a weapon—a tool to be used—to them.”
He smiled, but anger surged in his eyes. He hated captivity. Hated what he was doing and who he was forced to serve. This was no lab-born creature. He was something more. Something far more.
“They value my skills in protecting them when they are otherwise occupied,” he answered steadily, voice devoid of the fury so evident in his eyes.