Tempting(65)

Something clicked in my heart, a kind of unlocking, and I knew with complete certainty that I’d made the right decision, for me … for us.

“Mm,” he said, holding me closely at the threshold to his bedroom. “You smell fucking amazing. All the time.”

I leaned into him, relishing his warmth as the cold made my teeth chatter. “Even when I reek of coffee beans?”

“Especially when you reek of coffee beans.” He pulled back and placed a kiss to my lips. “You’re an aphrodisiac all by yourself.” He placed another kiss, softer this time. “I’m glad you’re here.”

My heart was putty in his hands. The way he said the simplest things shouldn’t have affected me so deeply, but they did.

I placed my hands on his neck and he let out a breath. “Your hands are freezing. Come, let’s shower.”

While he turned the water to warm, I stripped out of my coat and leggings, shivering a little when my bare feet touched the cold tile. When he turned back around, I grasped his shirt and pulled it from his waistband, unbuttoning all the way up. As more of his chest came into view, I placed soft kisses along his skin until the shirt was completely undone and he grabbed my face, pressing his lips fully on mine. He let out a sigh and unsnapped my bra before pulling me with him into the shower.

“Come here.” He grasped my hands in his and pulled me close, skin to skin, under the shower head. “Put your arms around me, warm up.” The water beat down on us and I let out a sigh at the welcome warmth of it. Wrapping my arms around him, he squeezed me tightly. I felt the warming down to my bones, wondered if I would turn to jelly just by him holding me so fiercely.

The water poured from the showerhead over us and I became dimly aware of Nathan’s hand running down my hair soothingly. How had he known I’d needed this? After making such a big decision, I needed to be held like this, to feel myself just existing in the moment with Nathan. Despite our nakedness, there was nothing sexual about this moment. It was just us, holding one another, being what we both needed. The water slid in rivulets over my face, my closed eyes, falling into the little space that existed between our bodies. Neither of us moved, content to just be.

That’s how I knew what I felt for Nathan wasn’t merely lust. Lust was blind to what we desired most: an emotional connection. And any misgivings I had about changing my major were eliminated with each drop of water down the drain. Whatever this was, it was worth exploring. I didn’t want Nathan to be my secret anymore. I pressed my lips into his shoulder and felt his at my forehead. Nothing could have dragged me from his embrace in that moment.

I felt him murmur something in my hair, but the water was too loud that I couldn’t hear him. “Hm?” I asked, leaning my head to hum the word in his ear.

His hands gripped tighter into my back, as if he was afraid I’d move away. “I like this,” he said, as if admitting it was some big secret.

I laughed softly. “Judging by the bulge against my belly, I’d say you do.”

“Shh,” he admonished, still holding me tightly. “I’d have to be dead not to get a hard on for you, Adele. But this—just holding you.” He paused, running a finger over my spine. “We don’t do this enough.”

His words wound around my heart, squeezing. If I wasn’t careful, I knew he could bruise my heart very easily. I lazily kissed his neck and said, “I concur.” A contented sigh slipped past my lips and we continued to stay still under the water, just holding on to each other. The comforting rise and fall of his chest against me could have lulled me into a very peaceful sleep, but as soon as I yawned into his chest, he pulled back.

“Do you want me to wash your hair?”

Again, the noose around my heart squeezed. Unable to say anything, I just nodded. Our surroundings were fogged from the steam, so even if I wanted to look away from him, I wouldn’t be able to see anything but us.

I watched him pour a handful of shampoo into his palm before he rubbed it between his hands and began massaging my scalp. It was heavenly, having his fingers pressing into my skin. The tension I hadn’t known I carried released and I nearly groaned in the sheer ecstasy of it.

Pressing a finger beneath my chin, he tilted my head back under the spray, allowing the water to wash away the soap. His finger moved down the center of my neck and came to my shoulders. His other hand came up and both cradled the back of my head under the spray, massaging against the roots as he rinsed my hair. I felt exposed to him like this, with my eyes closed and my head back, my chest stretched in front of him.

Slowly, his fingers moved to my neck, rubbing circles into the skin. He continued over my shoulders, his fingers working magic into my muscles. His thumbs pressed into the spot where my neck met my shoulder and rubbed away every bit of tension I carried.