Tempting(31)

“Look, I shouldn’t have said what I did. You’re not a stupid—”

“Don’t,” she said, blinking rapidly and shifting her eyes up to the ceiling. “I don’t need this.”

I straightened and stood, dipping my head so I could catch her gaze, which she reluctantly gave me. The sheen of tears made the green of her irises look otherworldly, and when she blinked again, one tear spilled onto her cheek. She pressed a hand to her cheek, mouth dropping open like she was surprised by its existence.

“Maybe I need this, Adele.” I lifted a hand to, what? Touching was out. Right? She searched my face while my stupid hand hovered an inch away from her cheek. “You think you’re the only one who’s felt ignored by the man you should look up to more than anyone in the world? You’re not.”

Another blink, another tear hit her cheekbone and I cupped her face, touching my thumb to the drop of water, rubbing it into her silk-soft skin. Her eyes pinched shut and she inhaled in through her nose, trying so damn hard to keep it together. I moved the hand on her cheek and speared it through her hair, cupping the back of her head and pulling her into my arms. I wrapped the other arm around her shaking shoulders and gripped her to me as tightly as I could manage. It only took a second for her arms to come around my waist and her hands to fist into my shirt, like she was keeping me from pulling away.

The thought never crossed my mind, not when I made soothing noises and rubbed up and down her back, or rested my cheek on the top of her cool, blonde hair. The rawness that she was feeling chafed at me, because I knew the part I had played in it. When her tears finally quieted, I pressed my lips onto her hair, not in a kiss, just breathing her in.

The simple act of a hug was so benign; one of those things you might take for granted if you lived a life with normal, kind parents and a spouse who was actually alive. But for me, aside from the brief moments of anger-tinged passion with Adele in the past month, I hadn’t felt this in years. Comfort for comfort’s sake. No ulterior motives or agendas. Just an exchange of hurt and compassion.

I think that hug, that simple circle of arms, moved me more than any of our previous exchanges. And the terror of that realization knocked down one of the bricks that I’d set down years ago to barricade my heart.

“When I think about what I said to you, I could rip my tongue out. Because the thought of making you feel for one second what my father has made me feel my whole life, and I wager yours has as well, is unforgivable. But I’m going to apologize all the same.” Adele sniffed and tightened her arms, pressing her forehead into my collarbone. I moved my head down so that the sides of our faces brushed, and she took a shuddering breath. “I am truly sorry.”

Her arms loosened just enough so she could pull back to look at me. Her cheeks were damp from tears and the skin around her eyes was slightly red and puffy. She looked terrible. And I felt like I was finally seeing Adele.

“Why are you doing this? I was gone, Nathan.”

Instead of answering, I pulled my arms from around her and used my thumbs to dry her cheeks. Her eyelids fell shut at the simple sweeps of skin, like she was as parched for this as I was. One hand stayed on her cheek and the other drifted down until my thumb rested on the corner of her mouth. I dragged it across her bottom lip, the smooth skin pulling in the wake of my thumb.

“I don’t know why I’m doing this,” I admitted. Her eyes popped open at my honesty. “I shouldn’t be; I do know that.”

Adele extracted herself from my grasp and ran a hand over her hair. “I need to go.”

I wrapped a hand around her bicep, feeling a twinge of panic. And confusion.

“Hang on a second—”

“No, Nathan. I can’t do this back and forth bullshit with you.” Her voice wavered, still raw from the last couple hours. “I can’t.” She pressed a hand to her chest and looked up at me, eyes so wide that if I looked hard enough, I might understand what she was trying to get out. “It’s too hard to keep doing this. It’s fucking with my head and I don’t like it.”

Her voice rose in pitch and color finally started filling her cheeks again. She was so beautiful, and I was the jackass who hadn’t really appreciated it until right now.

I didn’t think.

Taking advantage of her silence, I gripped the sides of her face and pulled her up on her toes, fitting my mouth over hers. Not the painful, clashing kisses we’d shared before. This was softer, a way that I could finally let myself memorize the texture of her lips. Adele slid her hands up my chest and up around my neck, weaving her fingers into the hair at the base of my skull.