His frown was a small flicker on his handsome face. “Why would I?”
Willow wrapped her arms around her waist and walked slowly away from him. He followed. “It’s just the kind of thing you generally mention.”
“I came to Haymarket Bay to sort my head out.” He sighed heavily. “Like I said earlier, I didn’t expect to meet someone like you.”
Willow clamped her teeth together. “You have no business thinking about meeting anyone.”
His laugh was raw. “No. You’re right. Unfortunately, you’ve had me pretty hypnotized since the first day I saw you.”
“Stop it,” she whispered, stepping into her kitchen to put some physical space between them. She flicked the kettle out of habit, and turned on her grinder. It was noisy, and Matt waited until she’d switched it back off again before he began to speak.
“You have to let me explain, Willow.”
“No, I don’t.” She scooped the freshly ground coffee into her French press, and added boiling water.
He stepped into the kitchen, moving towards her with obvious intent. She was pressed against the bench, and he stopped walking right in front of her. With his palms on the bench on either side of her body, he had her effectively trapped. He stared into her eyes, the intensity of his gaze sending her pulse skittering wildly through her body.
“Meghan and I are finished. We were finished years ago, really. If I’m honest, my marriage was over before it began. I never cheated on my wife, but I did let her down.” He lowered his mouth, so that his lips were just a millimetre from her ear. “I hurt her, and I regret that. But I don’t love her.”
Willow closed her eyes, her brain waging an internal battle. She had never wanted to kiss someone so badly. Her bones felt weak with desire. But wasn’t it just history repeating itself? She moaned softly, and against their will, her hands lifted, to bunch in his shirtfront.
“I can’t get involved with a married guy,” she whispered, dragging her lower lip between her teeth and biting down on it.
“What about a soon-to-be-divorced-guy?” He asked coolly, wondering why the hell he was ignoring his own reservations to pursue this woman. She was Isaac and Anna’s best friend. He’d come over to make it clear that they shouldn’t get involved, and instead, he’d ended up making a complete play for her.
Her heart turned over in her chest. She wanted to kiss him. Her lips were tingling with the need to press against his warmth, and feel the satisfaction that she knew he would give. But Willow was not one for repeating past mistakes. She forced her hands to push at his chest, and to her chagrin, he didn’t resist even slightly. He stepped away respectfully, his eyes intent on her face.
She shook her head slowly from side to side. “I’ve been down this path before.” She shrugged her slender shoulders and turned away from him, glad to have something as menial as making coffee to do.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked quietly.
She poured the coffee into two cups, black and strong, without asking how he had it. When it came to coffee, her way was the only way. She passed one to him, her smile tight on her lips. “I guess it means that I have a thing for married guys.”
Matt expelled a slow, frustrated breath. He was tempted to point out that he wouldn’t be married much longer, but he suspected that wouldn’t make much difference to Willow, in her current mindset. She obviously had some experience with being ‘the other woman’, and until he understood that, it was impossible to know how best to tackle this. And why did he want to so badly? Why wasn’t he heeding common sense and walking away from her?
“You know,” he drawled cynically, cradling the mug in his big, burly hands, “For a writer, getting a story out of you is like getting blood from a stone.”
She grimaced. “I know. It was just a dark time in my life. I’m ashamed of myself, still.”
“What for?”
She sipped her coffee and focussed on the fridge magnet she’d got from a holiday to Alaska. It was a picture of a woman in a bikini, on the ski slopes, with the slogan, “Grin and Bare it!”. It had made her laugh, so she’d bought it. But it didn’t make her laugh now. “I didn’t know he was married. But I rushed into the whole damned business before I really knew anything about him.”
An unwelcome sense of anger washed over Matt. And something else. A confusing emotion that made his gut tighten. “And was it serious?”
Willow dropped her eyes, leaving the bikini skier to carry on unsupervised. “I thought so at the time.” She sipped her coffee, relishing the strength of flavour in the bold brew. “But obviously not.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, because Ashton was married. Maybe he loved her, maybe he loved me, but he hurt us both. He lied to us both.”
“I’m sorry, Willow.”
“Yeah, well,” she shrugged dismissively. “It’s done. It happened. I’m over it now.”
Matt disagreed, strongly, but he knew he needed to find some kind of inner sensitivity. Something he didn’t frankly possess much of. “I’m not like him, Willow.”
“Aren’t you?” She said on a sigh. She placed her coffee cup down, and swung up to the bench, so that she was sitting and staring at him.
“No.”
“Facts seem to state otherwise…”
He laughed, and moved closer to her. “Because I didn’t tell you my wife and I are in the process of divorcing and that I’ve come to stay with Isaac and Anna because I needed to be with friends at the moment?”
“Yes, frankly.”
“Why do you care so much?” He pushed, though he knew the answer to the question. If she wanted to ignore the current of attraction slamming between them, he couldn’t.
Willow looked down at her hands, clasped in her lap. “I don’t like liars.”
“I never lied to you,” he retorted calmly, moving closer still, so that he could stand in the apex of her thighs.
She nodded, her dark eyes wide. “You did, though. You lied by omission at least. You should have told me sooner.”
He nodded. “Perhaps. But by the time I realised this could be a real problem, I was worried you’d scare easy.”
Willow laughed nervously. Her stomach in knots, her hands once again moved of their own accord, to lightly hold his shoulders. His muscles bunched beneath her fingers; he was warm and he was strong, and she was weak. “I’m not scared. But I’m not getting in the middle of another marriage. Not in my life.”
He lifted a hand and cupped her cheek. “Was it terrible?”
She tilted her head into his warm grip. “Yes.” She closed her eyes against the memory of the past, and the strength of the present. “He made a lie of everything I felt. He was the first man I ever loved. The only man I’ve loved. And he was never really mine. I had no business being with him. Every time we kissed or made love, we were insulting his wife, but he knew and I didn’t.”
She blinked her eyes open to find him staring at her face.
“Did she stay with him? Or kick his ass to the curb?”
Willow’s lips twisted. “I think they’re still together. I left. I moved here. I didn’t want anything to do with him once I found out what he was capable of. How could I ever trust him?”
Matt felt his heart turn over in his chest. He could well understand how a man – any man – could fall foul of their marriage because of Willow. Not only was she stunningly beautiful, she was intelligent and interesting, standoffish in a very sexy way, and totally fascinating. In short, she was temptation on legs, but that shouldn’t matter. No man in a proper marriage should be tempted by someone else. There was no excuse for it.
And Matt didn’t much like being tarred with the same brush. His situation was completely different.
She lifted her hand to his, still pressed against her warm cheek, and rubbed her fingers across his. “He didn’t wear a ring either.”
He nodded steadily. “The ring is back in my safe. I took it off the day we decided to separate.”
“And when was that?” Her need to know everything about him was becoming overwhelming.
Matt sensed that his answer wouldn’t please her. He shook his head slowly, and brushed the pad of his thumb over her lower lip. “Our marriage has been dying for a long time. She left me two weeks ago.”
“Two weeks?” She recoiled from the intimate touch of his hand to her face, and glared at him disapprovingly. “How do you know it’s really over?”
“It’s over. She wants out. I want out.” His expression showed his guilt. “I could never forgive her for…” he shook his head, clearing the sentence from the air. “Megs made some bad decisions, but I can’t blame her. I chose my love for the army over her, time and time again. I shouldn’t have married her, knowing I didn’t really love her enough to make it work.” He put his hands on her thighs, digging his fingers into flesh, his eyes heavy on hers. “I’ve had my own experience with extra-marital affairs. I don’t believe in infidelity. I despise it. I’m not asking you to get in the middle of my marriage.”