“Yes and no. I honestly don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or the fact I’m upset. I’ve been so queasy and nothing sounds good. Even my favorite foods have suddenly lost their appeal.”
“I’m sure neither is helping,” Pippa said dryly. She hesitated a moment as if deciding whether or not to say what was obviously on her mind. But Pippa wasn’t one to hold back. “Have you talked to Devon yet, Ash?”
Ashley put her cup down and sighed. “No. I’m a horrible coward.”
“No, you aren’t,” Pippa said fiercely. “It took guts to go to his office and lay it out to him like you did. I’m so freaking proud of you. I so want to be you when I grow up.”
Ashley’s eyes got all watery again. “Oh my God. I’ve got to stop this,” she said, sniffling back the tears. “Pippa, you’re the most put-together person I know. You’ve got it all. You’re smart. You can cook like a dream. You’re gorgeous. And you’re the best friend I could possibly hope for.”
“And strangely I’m still single,” Pippa drawled.
Ashley giggled. “Only because you’re a picky bitch, as you should be. I could use some lessons from you.”
Pippa shifted forward on the couch, her expression suddenly serious. “Ashley, you have no idea how truly special you are. When the rest of us were struggling to find ourselves, sleeping around and experimenting with all the wrong guys, you were so calm and centered. You knew exactly who you were and what you wanted. You’ve always known who you were. You valued yourself and you refused to settle for less. Just because Devon turned out to be a prick who tried to change you doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. You may have lost your way for a very short time, but ultimately you didn’t let him change you.”
Ashley smiled but inside she wondered if Pippa was right. Devon had changed her. Irrevocably. No matter that she’d resisted and refused to become someone she didn’t like, she’d never truly be who she was before Devon entered her life.
But maybe that was what life was all about. People and circumstances changed you. It was what you did with that change that mattered.
The door buzzer sounded and Pippa made a face. “I swear if that’s another salesman I’m going to wet down my steps so they’ll freeze and anyone coming up will bust their ass. We’ve had two already this week.”
“Are you expecting a delivery? Maybe it’s your groceries.”
Pippa grew thoughtful. “No, I’m pretty sure I arranged it for tomorrow. But maybe you’re right. I’ll be right back.”
“You sit,” Ashley said as she pushed the blanket back. “You’ve been on your feet all morning. I’ve done nothing but sit around and feel sorry for myself.”
Pippa rolled her eyes but flopped back on the couch as Ashley padded toward the door. Ashley grinned as she imagined Pippa watering down her steps so they’d become icy. It was something she’d totally do.
She opened the door to the street-level apartment and blinked in shock to see Devon standing on the stoop, snow landing on his hair and wetting it. He wore a coat but had no scarf or cap, and he looked like he hadn’t slept in a week.
“Hello, Ash,” he said in a quiet, determined voice.
She gripped the door until her fingers went numb. “Uh, hi. What are you doing here?”