He winced but remained quiet.
“I am agreeable to at least a period of time in which we see how things progress.”
He frowned at that but she looked up with dead eyes. “Be glad I’m not on a plane home with an appointment to see a divorce lawyer.”
He pushed out a breath and then slowly nodded. “All right. How long do you think this test period will last?”
She shrugged. “How would I know? I can’t exactly put a time frame on when I can give up all hope of having a happy marriage.”
“Ash.”
The low growl in which he said her name only served to make her angrier. She curled her fingers into tight balls, determined not to give in to the urge to scream at him. She was determined to get through this, no matter how excruciating it was.
“I’m not trying to punish you, Devon. I’m trying to get through this without losing what little pride I have left.”
He went pale and pain flickered in his eyes. And shame. Though that hadn’t been her intention, either. She wasn’t trying to make digs at him because that wouldn’t make this go away. It wouldn’t give her back her happiness. It would only make her more miserable than she already was.
“You seem to think we can have an enjoyable marriage. I personally find no joy in being married to a man who doesn’t love me, but I’m willing to try. You’re probably right in that I shouldn’t allow something so silly as love to enter the equation.”
“Damn it, I care a lot for you—”
“Please,” she bit out, halting his words in midsentence. “Just don’t. Don’t try to make it better by offering me platitudes. It was hard to hear your assessment of my faults. Does anyone ever like to hear that about themselves? But I’m willing to work on not being so impulsive and exuberant or whatever else it was that you mentioned. I’ll try to be the best wife I can be and not disappoint you.”
He bit out a sharp curse but she ignored him and plunged ahead before she lost all her courage and fled.
“I just have one thing to ask in return,” she whispered.
She was trying valiantly not to break down again. She’d already made such an idiot of herself in front of him. She was forever making a total cake of herself with him.
His lips were thin. His eyes were dark with raw emotion. At least he wasn’t totally unaffected by her distress.
“I find the situation I’m in immensely humiliating. I’ll make every effort to be a wife you’ll be proud of. All I ask is that you please not embarrass me in front of my family by making our issues known to anyone. What I’m asking you to do is pretend. At least with them.”
“God, Ash. You act as though I despise you. I’d never embarrass you.”
“I just don’t want them to know you don’t love me,” she choked out. “If you could just act like—like a real husband in front of them. You don’t have to go overboard. Just don’t treat me with indifference now that you don’t have to pretend in order to get me to marry you anymore.”
And then another thought occurred to her that very nearly had her leaning over to empty the contents of her stomach.