“Ashley, listen to me.”
He leaned forward, caught her hands and stared until she quieted and returned his gaze.
“Right now you’re upset and you’re hurting. But don’t discount the possibility that we could enjoy a comfortable, lasting marriage. Don’t make a snap decision you may regret later. Take some time to think about it when you’ve calmed down. When you’re not so volatile, you’ll be able to look at the situation more objectively.”
“Oh screw off,” she snapped. “Could you be any more patronizing? ‘Don’t be so high-strung, Ashley. Don’t be so stupid and naive. Don’t expect ridiculous things like love and affection in a marriage. How perfectly absurd would that be?’”
“I don’t think we should have this conversation any longer,” he said tightly. “Not until you’ve had time to calm down and think about what you’re saying.” He stood abruptly and she looked hastily away but not before he saw the silver trail of her tears streaking down her cheeks.
He wanted more than anything to pull her into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. He wanted to comfort her, hold her, soothe her fears and tell her it would be all right. But how could he when he was the sole reason she was devastated?
“I’m sorry, Ash,” he said hoarsely. “I know you don’t believe that, but I’m more sorry than you’ll ever know. I would have done anything at all to spare you this pain.”
“Please, just go away and leave me alone,” she choked out. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
He hesitated a moment and then sighed in resignation. “I’ll take the couch in the living area. We’ll talk more in the morning.”
It took every ounce of his willpower to turn around and walk out of the bedroom. His instincts screamed at him not to leave her alone. To take her in his arms and force the issue. Make her listen to him. To not relent until she agreed that their marriage could and would work if only they could set aside the emotional volatility that always seemed to accompany declarations of love.
He had only to point at his friends to know this was an inevitable truth. Their lives were emotional messes brought on by the letter L.
All that angst and suffering in the name of love. Rafe and Ryan had spent more time in abject misery and all because they’d been ripped to shreds by…love.
Devon grimaced and sank onto the couch in the dark living room. What a wedding night this had turned out to be. Maybe he’d always known that it was inevitable that she learn the truth. How could she not? But he’d hoped they’d have a lot more mileage behind them. Then she could see that their marriage wasn’t defined by love or emotion, volatility or vulnerability.
Friendship, companionship, trust, respect.
Those were all things he was on board with.
Love? Not so much. It was a messy, raw emotion he had no desire to embroil himself with.
Ten
Ashley sat on the private veranda and stared over the ocean as the sun began its hesitant rise. She felt empty. Rung out. She felt stupid and so horribly naive that she cringed. It still baffled her that a life she’d thought was so perfect just hours before was a complete facade.