"Let's just rest tonight. We'll figure out what we're going to do in the morning."
"Good idea."
He stood and pried open the overhead compartments above the row of seats. He pulled something down, shaking it out and then draping the blanket over me. Then he handed me a pillow.
"What about you?"
"I'll get one for me too."
I snuggled down into the seat with my blanket and pillow, telling myself things could be far, far worse. And then I closed my eyes. My thoughts drifted to Nash and the way I felt earlier when his lips were upon mine.
* * *
Sleep was rather easy to obtain … but it was hard to keep. I kept hearing the crunch of metal, the sound of the tail being ripped away. And then I would somehow break free of the pile of debris burying me and stand, wind whipping around me evilly, trying to pull me from the plane. And then I would see him. See Nash. He would reach for me and I would hold out my hand …
And then the wind would claim him, would suck him right into the darkened sky outside.
His scream rang through my head.
I jerked awake.
"Ava?" His voice reached me through the dark.
"Nash." Just the sound of his voice washed away the worst of the dream.
I heard some movement and then he appeared above me. "Did you have a nightmare?"
I nodded and realized that he likely couldn't see the movement. "Yeah. I'm okay now."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"The plane was crashing all over again. But this time … you didn't make it." I couldn't help the way my voice caught at the last part.
He made a soft sound and reached for me, picking me up and sitting down with me in his lap. My skin felt cold against his and I sighed at his warmth enveloping me.
"Where the hell is your blanket?" he asked, feeling around the ground around us. He found it and dragged it up, tucking it around us both.
"I must have kicked it off when I was sleeping."
He grunted. "Those shorts of yours aren't going to keep you warm."
"What's wrong with my shorts?"
"Not a thing," he said, his voice a little thicker than before. "They just don't offer much warmth."
They were short. And I was cold.
"Like your jeans are any warmer." I snorted, reaching down and fingering one of the many holes. My fingertip slid in and brushed against the skin of his leg. Heat fizzled along my nerve endings, zapping up my fingers through my arm and toward my chest. I jerked back, a little frightened about the sudden surge of desire.
He chuckled.
I felt my muscles stiffen slightly, a little shocked at my response from an accidental touch.
He seemed to sense the change that came over me, and his hand slid upward and rubbed slow circles over my back, coaxing my body into relaxing once more. It worked. My eyes closed and I submitted to the feel of his palm massaging me.
I snuggled a little closer, not even realizing what I was doing until his arms tightened around me. I might have been embarrassed about my body's automatic reaction to get closer if he hadn't felt so damn good. I'd never been held like this before. Sure, I'd seen women and men on TV embracing and oh-so-close, but I didn't really think it would feel this way. This secure.
Maybe it was that sense of security that caused the one secret fear that had been gnawing at me since we crashed to pass through my lips.
"Do you think anyone will come for us?" I whispered. The words were captured by the darkness around us, creeping in the empty space, almost taunting us.
He was silent a moment and then he replied. "Yes. I really do. We're going to be just fine." His lips grazed the top of my forehead as he spoke. Hot chills raced over my skin.
I desperately wanted to believe him. Still, there was a taunting voice inside me that whispered we would never get off this island.
I spent the rest of the night in that place between sleep and consciousness. Usually that state annoyed me because it wasn't actually restful, but this time I wasn't annoyed. I was so comfortable it was like I didn't quite want to surrender to sleep, because then I wouldn't be aware of his breathing, of the steady rhythm of his heart. I wouldn't feel the way his skin brushed against mine when he moved.
The darkness started to lift, bringing out more shadows, and I became aware of needs that required the bathroom we didn't have. I felt myself squirm in his lap, knowing I couldn't hold it forever, but not wanting to use the jungle out there as a potty.
He groaned a little, his hips bucking up, pressing a very solid length against my hip. I froze. Squirming around in a guy's lap probably wasn't the best idea. He moved again, the hard length of him nudging me.
My mouth went dry.
I wasn't really sure how to react. Part of me wanted to leap off him. The other part of me was curious. My fingers itched to reach out and explore that part of him-the part of a man that was sort of a mystery to me.
Before I could do anything, he opened his eyes and I felt his stare. A half smile played across his lips. "Good morning."
"Hi," I said shyly.
"It's still really early."
"I have to pee," I said, totally embarrassed I just announced that like a five-year-old, but clearly the feel of his … well, his you know, robbed my brain of the filter it obviously needed.
He chuckled. "Yeah, me too." He patted my back. "Come on, then, up."
I swung my legs off him, which pressed my bottom farther back in his lap. A groan ripped out of his throat as the ridge in his pants punched forward, right up against my backside.
I froze, not really sure what to do. I hoped he didn't think I did that on purpose.
"He's not going to get any smaller with you sitting in my lap like that," he murmured.
Embarrassment flooded my cheeks and I jolted off him, stumbling a little over the debris on the ground. Nash grabbed my arm to steady me but didn't say anything else, thank God.
We went outside and he pointed to the right. "Ladies that way." Then he started off to the left.
I wandered around a few minutes, squinting at every shape I saw, half expecting some kind of wild beast to attack me and make me breakfast. When nothing came after me, I found a spot and did my business, the whole time wrinkling my nose. I was so not a roughing it kind of girl.
Nash was waiting beside the plane when I pushed my way back through the plants. His back was to me and he was staring out toward the beach. He didn't turn, but he held out his hand to me. "Look," he said, his voice hushed.
I stepped forward, slipping my hand into his, and gasped.
The sun was rising over the ocean. The sky was a vibrant hue of pink with the pale yellow of the sun in the center. The water sparkled like a chest full of gems and a light, cool breeze brushed over my skin and ruffled the large leaves around us.
"I've never seen a sunrise so beautiful."
"It's the ultimate love story," he murmured.
"What?" I glanced away from the view to his strong profile. I couldn't help but study the planes and angles of his face and the slight stubble that covered the bottom portion of his jaw.
"The story about how the moon loved the sun so deeply that it died every morning so she could breathe with the new day."
I glanced back at the climbing sun. "I've never heard that before."
"Two entities intertwined forever, destined to never share the sky at the same time, but never able to hate each other for it. Instead, they die for one other over and over again."
"That's beautiful." And it brought an entirely new significance to night and day.
"Si," he agreed.
We stood there unmoving, staring out at the water until the sun had ascended above the verge and appeared to be sitting on top of the horizon like a giant boat ready to sail away.
"Kiki would have loved to see this," I said, thinking of my beloved grandmother. Then panic stole through me and I gasped. "Kiki!"
Forgetting all about the beautiful sunrise, I raced back toward the plane-toward the last place I remembered seeing the suitcase with the urn inside.
Before the crash.
Before the tail of the plane was whipped away and Nash and I were knocked out cold.
I couldn't believe I had forgotten about her ashes until now. What if they were gone? What if they had been sucked out of the plane when the tail was torn away?
It would be like losing her all over again.
5
I searched furiously through the wreckage, my heart pounding and tears swimming in my eyes. Surely she was still here. Surely life couldn't be so cruel as to kill a woman twice.
I felt the jab of something sharp in my hand and I yelped, yanking it back and seeing blood. I wiped in on my shirt and kept on rummaging.
Nash searched alongside me, lifting up the heavier items that I didn't have the muscle to move. Dread spread through my limbs the longer we looked and came up empty. I was about to completely lose it when Nash called out from behind. "Found it!"
I made a sound of relief and rushed over as he pulled the black suitcase from underneath a pile of junk. It was scuffed up and the fabric was lightly shredded. He laid it down and I ripped at the zippers, my fingers just not being able to move fast enough. When I got it opened, I flung the lid back and stared down at the contents inside.