“You’ll find out. Give me your truck keys…I’m driving!” Shaking his head, he reaches into his pocket and drops the keys into the palm of my hand. He’s learned over our past few years together not to question me when I have a surprise. Nothing he says or does will get me to spill.
“Hurry your ass up, Roxie, we got somewhere to be!” I shout climbing up onto the step bar of the truck. Matt and Dalton toss the chairs and cooler into the back of the truck. After everyone climbs in, I roar the truck to life and head downtown.
“Where are we going?” Roxie asks popping her head between the front seats.
Turning, I give her an impish smile, “You’ll have to wait like everyone else. You’ll find out soon enough.” I answer in a high pitched valley girl tone. I know how much it irritates Roxie when I try to mock her voice.
After driving almost twenty minutes, we finally pull up to Tattoo & Co. “A Tattoo? You just got a freakin’ music note behind your ear when you aced your last semester!” Roxie shouts in my ear as she practically jumps into the front seat.
“Yes, a tattoo! God you can be such a prude.” Rolling my eyes, I smile at Cane. “So what do you think? I want to get one to celebrate tonight. You up for some ink?”
“I’ve wanted to get one before I leave for Afghanistan, so what the hell.” I jump out of the truck, bouncing with excitement. Since getting my first tattoo in May, I’ve been dying to get another. Tonight is the perfect time to do it!
After looking through the books, I finally decide on a butterfly with the body of a music note. I told the tattoo artist to add 07-04-04 under it. Cane decided on a Bald Eagle on the middle of his back with an American flag design behind it and the words ‘No Regrets’ on a piece of paper the eagle is holding. It’s beautiful, very symbolic and means a lot for the both of us.
We spend the rest of night partying with everyone at Ocean Side Dive, drinking and playing pool. Beyond Redemption, the most popular Miami based band around here, played tonight for the bar’s Fourth of July party. They were impressive.
Seeing people on stage and performing, sparks something in me; all I want to do is jump up on the stage and join in. I live and breathe music; it’s my passion and my world. If I had a choice between four years of majoring in Music or actually performing on stage; I would pick performing, hands down.
November 12th 2004
It’s been two months since Cane deployed. Before he left, he trained me to fill his bartending position a few nights a week. I still waitress almost every weekend but during the week, when it’s a little slower, I bartend. It always feels weird going into work and not having Cane here with me. I miss being able to look over at the bar and see his beautiful face smiling back at me during our shifts together. Dale, the owner of Ocean Side Dive, has been wonderful. Anytime I need any help at our condo with anything maintenance won’t fix, he’s right there doing it for me.
Cane and I try to write letters to each other at least once a week, and he calls when he can. Being so far apart is hard, but reading his letters helps me feel like he’s right here beside me. The worst part is not even being apart; it’s the not knowing. I constantly wonder what he’s doing, and if he’s safe. I avoid watching the news, because it only adds to my worries. Hearing about another soldier being killed, or seeing interviews with wounded soldiers, is terrifying. It’s easier to keep it out of sight out of mind, so I don’t drive myself completely crazy.
Roxie’s is amazing. She sleeps over at our condo nearly every night to keep me company; only going home to get a change of clothes. I’ve been so distracted lately with Cane gone, that I’m having trouble focusing on school, and it’s reflecting in my grades. If it weren’t for Roxie ragging on me every night; I don’t think I would have the ambition to do my homework at all.
August seems so far away; I hope the next nine months fly by, because I won’t feel whole again until Cane is back home, in my arms.
August 30th 2005
Cane comes home today! I’ve been pacing the airport for what feels like an eternity waiting for him to walk down the terminal. My parents had to work, and were sad they couldn’t be here with me to welcome him home. Cane’s parents, Janice and Terrance, or ‘Terry’, were here before I was. Roxie, Matt and Dalton all showed up about twenty minutes ago to wait along with us.
I’m a nervous wreck. It’s feels like it’s been an eternity since I’ve been in Cane’s arms or felt his lips on mine. When he called last week and said he was back on base, and I knew he was safe, I was finally able to breathe for the first time in over a year.