I can’t stop laughing at her excitement, “I’m good. Yes, at the hospital. He just kinda spit it out while talking to me about Kinsley. So I finally decided, what the hell, and said it back. I’ve wanted to for weeks but was scared. I know he’s afraid that I won’t love him the way he loves me; I can see it in his eyes. I feel bad because I know he feels that way because of Cane. In time, I hope he’ll see my love for him is genuine and real.”
Roxie squeals on the other end of the phone bursting with excitement, “Aww that’s so sweet! He knows sweetie; Cane is a lot to live up to. You two were so madly in love; I can understand how Jordon may feel Cane has shoes too big to ever fill. Just give it time. Anywhoo, I gotta go, but wanted to see how you were doing. I love you girly! If you need anything just call or text me, okay?”
“Okay. Love you too.”
Hanging up, I continue cleaning myself up. Staring in the mirror, I wish Cane would appear to me like he did after he died. I need to see him right now, know he is okay with all of this. I need to know so I can put my mind at ease.
“Cane. I’m so scared.” I whisper closing my eyes and dropping my chin to my chest. “I hope you are looking down on me and happy with the woman I’m becoming. All I want is to make you proud and your death worth something.
For so long I was lost after losing you. Now with Jordon, I feel like I’m finally where I belong. Just all of this with Kinsley…the baby…it’s a lot to deal with. I love you so much, and I never want to lose that. I’m scared if I let myself fall completely for Jordon, I’ll forget about you.
I never want to forget about you or what we had. It was special and to me the greatest love of all time. I’m struggling with the idea that maybe God does give you two soulmates in one lifetime. I know in my heart you were my soulmate. We were destined to be together, but I can’t ignore the feeling that it’s the same with Jordon.
I feel that the battles I went through these last eight years were all to lead me to Jordon. The thought that your death sent me on this course that eventually brought Jordon into my life can’t be ignored. I just wish you’d give me a sign, let me know it’s all going to be okay.”
Opening my eyes I glance at my reflection in the mirror one more time before scooping my purse up off the floor and head back out to the waiting room.
It sounds crazy but talking to Cane, even though he can’t talk back, helps ease my mind. Having Roxie call also helped reassure me that as long as Jordon and I stick together it’ll all be all right.
I notice a tall man with short blonde hair standing at the nurse’s counter as I head back towards Kinsley’s room. Stopping, I eavesdrop, which I know is wrong, but geesh I’ve had a rough day.
“Hi, I’m Brock Lawrence. I’m looking for my girlfriend, Kinsley Jefferson’s room. She checked in earlier this morning.”
Oh. My. God. He came.
A little late to the party, but he’s here.
I slowly approach him, tapping him on his shoulder.
“Excuse me? Hi, I’m Brittan, Jordon’s girlfriend.” I began to say as he turns and looks down at me. His eyes grow big as he stares at me not blinking.
“Um, yeah, I know who you are. You’re Brittan-fucking-McKenna. I’m a huge fan.” He says taking my hand and shaking it.
I let out a nervous laugh and tuck my hair behind me ear, “Yup, that’s me. I’m actually heading to Kinsley’s room if you want to walk with me.”
Nodding he says, “Sure,” and walks beside me down the long corridor to her room.
“What made you decide to come to the hospital?” I finally ask, breaking the awkward silence.
Stuffing his hand in his pocket, he pulls out his cell and scrolls to his recent messages showing me a text from Jordon. It’s a picture of the baby.
“Jordon sent me this picture and it reminded me that even if I’m pissed off at Kinsley, this little girl is an innocent in all this.”
Grabbing his arm I stop him mid-step, and look up at him nervously, “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, anything.”
My stomach is twisted in so many knots I feel nauseous. I’m struggling to get the words out but if anyone knows it’ll be him. “What made Kinsley suddenly become convinced Jordon may be the father?”
Taking a step back, Brock rests against the wall and glances around to make sure no one else is around to hear before answering, “I think it has to do with her mother. She started going on and on the other day after seeing a news article about Tempting Tomorrow performing at the 2014 Billboard Music awards and being nominated for some award. She was telling Kinsley that she doesn’t know for sure who the father is and just because they used condoms didn’t mean anything. She kept drilling it in Kinsley’s head that if Jordon is the father, her daughter deserves to have everything he has. Kinsley started picking fights with me, telling me that the baby isn’t mine, and it’s all because of her fucking bitch of a mother.”