Ever since 9/11 Cane has been talking a lot about the “War on Terror” as President Bush describes it. U.S. Troops have been in Afghanistan fighting Al-Qaeda since a few weeks after the 9/11 attacks. America lost thousands of people that day. It’s been nearly two years, and it’s still heartbreaking to think about.
Cane still has two more years of college to go before he can graduate with his business degree, but he has been talking with a lot of people at Ocean Side Dive and his father about the war. I’ve heard him mentioning a few times that he wants to enlist in the Army. He wants to fight against the terrorists who attacked the United States. I’ve actually heard a great deal of people saying the same thing since the United States was attacked. It scares the living crap out of me, hearing him talk like that.
I appreciate all the men and women serving our country, protecting and keeping us safe, and trying to prevent something like that from ever happening again. But I’ve seen so many news reports about soldiers being killed or missing in action.
I don’t want that for my life; living in fear that one day I’ll be told Cane was killed overseas. I want to join Cane at the University of Miami in the fall, finish our schooling and get out there into the working world. I want to get married, have kids and grow old together. But I am starting to lose faith in my happily ever after with Cane.
August 1, 2003
Lying in Cane’s bed, I look around his room at his trophies sitting on the shelves he proudly displays. With dread, my eyes land on the stack of boxes on the floor in the corner. He’s finished moving all of his belongings out of the Frat House, but I still cannot believe he enlisted in the Army, and dropped out of college.
Attending the University of Miami with a scholarship has been his dream. It’s been a huge achievement for him; he lives and breathes basketball, and I have loved sitting on the bleachers watching him play.
It’s heartbreaking to know he is giving it all up. He says he feels he has an obligation to our country. ‘To Serve and Protect’. He thinks joining the Army is the right choice for him. I have cried more tears over the last few weeks than I have my entire life.
For tonight, Cane just wants to focus on us and tomorrow he leaves for basic training in Georgia. Just the thought of being away from him for ten weeks is killing me. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to handle it.
Starting classes in two weeks without him won’t feel right. It helps that Roxie was also accepted to Miami, but it won’t be the same. I’ve always envisioned Cane walking me to my first college class. Now, he’ll be thousands of miles away.
The feeling of Cane’s lips on my shoulder brings me back to the here and now. “Please stop thinking about tomorrow, Brittan. We have one more night together. I want to spend it with all of you. Not just a fraction of you.”
Rolling over, I gaze up into Cane’s sparkling blue eyes. It makes me sad to think I won’t be able to do this every night. I try my best to smile, though I can’t help but feel devastated. I run my fingers through his hair, twisting it around my fingers, “I’m going to miss your hair; I love it all long and shaggy.”
“It will definitely take some getting used to. Right now, I could care less about my hair. All I care about is being with you.”
I couldn’t agree more. Eager to taste his kiss, I pull his lips against mine, instantly getting lost in him. Opening my mouth, I allow his tongue full access. Letting out a small moan, I push on the back of his head showing him just how badly I want him…need him. I need him to kiss all my worries and fears away.
Caressing my bare thigh, he makes his way up under his t-shirt I’m wearing. I love sleeping in his t-shirts; being wrapped in the scent of his favorite cologne. I told him I’m keeping this one to sleep in, until he returns home. Running my nails along his back, he slides in between my legs, working his hands along the side of my stomach. Pulling away from my lips, Cane stares down at me. He looks so gorgeous, but he hates when I tell him that. He says it makes him sound like a “freakin’ chick” but I just laugh it off. I don’t care; he is the sexiest most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“I love you.” I whisper as a single tear escapes the corner of my eye.
Cane reaches up and with the pad of his thumb, wipes the tear away. He gently flutters a path of kisses from the corner of my eye, down my cheek and to my neck, leaving a path of fire along my skin. Within seconds, he has his basketball shorts off and on the floor. I sit up, allowing him to pull his t-shirt over my head. He quickly tosses it onto the floor beside his shorts.