Temporarily Yours(46)

“Yes.” He threw a shirt in his suitcase. “I told you that I didn’t want a relationship. I told you why. Nothing has changed. I don’t want you to fall for me, and I’m not going to fall for you. I have obligations, and they don’t involve falling in love with a girl I met on a plane.”

She stumbled back from him, trying not to feel betrayed. They’d both known going into this that they were temporary. That the relationship wasn’t real. But he’d said he was going to stay until the wedding, and now he was running. Running from her, even though he’d promised to play the part until the wedding.

She’d thought he meant it. She’d thought she mattered. That had been her first mistake. Her second had been falling for him.

But he didn’t need to know how deep her feelings for him were. They could part ways without him ever realizing the truth. “Then go. I’m not stopping you.”

He dragged a hand through his hair. “Don’t be like that. I’m doing this for you.”

“For me?” She laughed. “Yeah. Okay.”

He flinched. “It’s true. It wouldn’t be right to start something when I leave. For me to hold you to a promise when I’m going to be gone—and maybe even dead. You don’t know what that does to a person. I do. I’ve seen it. You don’t want it, Kayla. And you don’t want me. Trust me.”

“Oh, so the man says I don’t want to worry, huh?” She held her arms out, finally, blessedly, pissed off. He was making decisions for her. Screw that. And screw him. “Well, if the man says so, then it must be true.”

He slammed the lid to his case shut and zipped it up. “Don’t turn this into something it isn’t. I’m not fighting with you about this.”

“Of course you’re not. You already had the argument in your head and ended it before I could say a word.” She gave him what she hoped was a feral smile. “You made the decision for me—what is there to fight about?”

He yanked his suitcase off the bed. “You weren’t there, damn it.”

“For our argument? You’re right. I wasn’t.” She pointed to the door. “Now get the hell out. I thought you were different. I’m sad to say I was wrong.”

He took a step toward her, his hand raised toward her. “Kayla—”

“No. Don’t.” She shook her head and backed up. “Just go. We’ve both said enough.”

She was such an idiot. She’d gotten attached to a guy who had told her from the start he was leaving. He’d said, point blank, that there wasn’t a chance that this fake relationship would go anywhere.

And like a damn fool, she hadn’t believed him.

…

Cooper watched her, trying to find the right words to make her understand he was doing this to save her from unnecessary pain. It was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do but he was walking away. She would be better off.

And then he could go overseas and focus solely on the job at hand. The job he was committed to doing with no distractions.

So why did he feel so…empty?

“That’s not what I meant,” he said. “You weren’t there when my best friend died in my arms. You didn’t hold him when he drew his last breath. And you sure as fuck weren’t there to hold his fiancée as she fell apart piece by piece, either. But I was.”

She sank onto the bed, perching on the edge. He finally had her attention. She looked as if she wanted to cry instead of throttle him to death. Not a huge improvement, but it was something. For some reason, it was important to him that she understood why he had to end things between them. She needed to get it, damn it.

“I’m not her,” she murmured.

“I know you’re not.”

“And you’re not him.”

“I might be after I get back over there.”

He half expected for her to point out that he didn’t have to go, that he could stay, backed up with one of her kooky statistics. He was surprised when she didn’t. “I can handle that risk. It doesn’t mean you have to shove me away. Not if you don’t want to.”

“Kayla…”

“It’s true that it’ll be hard,” she said, wringing her hands. “The odds are against us, yes. But if we worked at it and tried to make this real, we could—”

“Be the one in five ‘dead and don’t know it yet’ relationships that survive?” He pulled the handle out of the suitcase and squared his shoulders. “You know that we won’t make it. You told me so earlier in this fake relationship. You’re just in denial.”