“Yep.” She smiled, but the smile looked sad. “I liked the music. And liked being in the orchestra. My part was always so clearly laid out. I knew exactly where I was seated and when to come in. It was comforting to a person like me.”
“I can see that about you. Do you still play?”
“Sometimes.” She shrugged. “I do it when I’m stressed out or thinking. But I miss being in an actual orchestra. It’s the one place where I felt like I belonged. You know what I mean?”
He studied her. He might not have been a nerd in high school, but he’d never felt as if he belonged anywhere back then. Had never found his home, so to speak. Being a military brat, he’d never settled down long enough to really find a close group of friends or colleagues. Not until the military, when he forged some strong relationships with the guys around him. So he got what she meant way too well. He liked being needed. Liked helping others. But besides that…what did he have now?
Nothing. That’s what.
He was tempted to make a joke and laugh off the moment. Make light of the fact that she’d shared something about herself she probably didn’t tell many people. It’s what he normally did. It was him. But he couldn’t do it. Instead he cupped her cheek and ran his thumb over her lower lip. “I do know what you mean about belonging. But honestly? I don’t think I’ve ever found that security.”
She blinked up at him. “You have your career. Your men.”
“Yeah, but do I belong there? Do I feel at peace?” He shrugged, feeling restless. “I don’t think I could say that. I’ve never lost myself in something or someone so completely that everything else just faded away.”
Not until you.
He immediately shook the thought from his head.
She snorted. “I find that hard to believe. You seem to know exactly where you’re going and what you’re doing at every point in time.” She headed for the bleachers, her hand still holding his. “I know you like helping people, and I know you have a life plan that you stick to—and that’s half of what you need to get where you want to be in life. You know what you want, and you go get it. That’s awesome.”
“What’s the other half?”
“Sheer, stubborn determination to win.” She eyed him, a smile playing on her lips. “I think you’ve got that down, too.”
He laughed. “You think?”
“Oh yeah.” She opened the gate and walked into the stands. He couldn’t believe it wasn’t locked, but maybe they didn’t worry about that in North Carolina. “You’ve definitely got the stubborn part down to an art form. I mean, look at the way you took over and demanded to be my fake boyfriend? If that isn’t sheer determination, then I don’t know what is.”
“Nah. I just wanted to get in your pants.”
“Well, you succeeded.” She grinned up at him.
“That’s something I’ve always been pretty confident in,” he joked, tightening his fingers on hers. “My ability to woo a woman.”
“Yeah, I can see why.”
“Though, I never went to the extremes with anyone else that I went to with you.” He roamed his gaze over her. She wore a grey wool jacket, a pair of jeans, and a white knit hat. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold, and she looked so damn pretty it hurt.
She chuckled. He expected her to say something sentimental or sweet, but she turned away, her cheeks going even redder. “You didn’t tell me who you were in high school yet.”
He blinked at the change of subject. “Uh…why don’t you guess?”
“Guess?” She strolled toward the area where the team sits when they’re not on the field. “I have a ninety-four percent chance of getting it right, based on what I know about you.”
He raised a brow. “Sounds as if you like those odds.”
“I do.”
“Enough to bet on it?”
“Hmmm…” She paused, as if she was worried she might be wrong. “What are we talking here? Money? Sexual favors?”
He scanned the surrounding area. There were no cameras, and they were definitely the only ones here. “If you’re wrong, you have to do any sexual favor I ask for.”
She laughed. “That’s all?”
“Yep.” He gestured toward the field. “Right here. Right now.”
She sucked in a deep breath, then blew it out. He could almost make out her breath in the cold air. “Seriously?”
“What’s the matter?” He spun her until her back rested against the chain link fence, then grabbed both her hands. He lifted them so they pressed against the metal on either side of her head. “Are you too scared your calculations are off?”