Temple of the Grail(28)

‘On two points I am at variance with you, venerable Setubar,’ my master replied, to the old man’s surprise. ‘Firstly I do not believe that the body is sinful, for it is only an instrument by which we make manifest the will that resides within and without it. Corinthians tells us, ‘Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ?’ And further, ‘Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you?’ and lastly, ‘Therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit’. And secondly, that it is our holy duty as physicians to preserve this temple, this vehicle of higher truths, and to keep it healthy.’

‘But you are wrong!’ Setubar exclaimed in a shrill voice. ‘The body is evil, evil! And easily seduced by sin, compelled by desires whose captains are the infernal legions of hell! Matthew tells us that it would have been good for man if he had not been born into the body, for only in his soul is he truly God-like. Only in death can man find the fulfilment of his true nature, preceptor. When he is alive, and particularly when he has become old and useless, he is nothing more than an animal, driven by hunger, cold and pain, like a child dribbling the food from his lips that others, who are young, deign to serve him!’

‘I prefer to look at it as a return to a state of innocence, for Matthew also tells us that we must become like little children if we wish to enter the kingdom of Heaven.’

The old man gave a grunt, his bitter face stone-like. Only his melancholy eyes betrayed the intensity of his feeling, and these he directed menacingly at my master. ‘Because I am old and too am nearing my own ultimate and blissful end, I can say with authority, ‘Oh wretched man that I am!’’

A heavy silence descended over us. The infirmarian dared to break it, though I sensed a quiver in his voice.

‘Thank you for your assistance, preceptor.’

‘It was a most enlightening discussion,’ my master replied, and turning to the older man said, ‘I hope I have not offended you, venerable brother, for this was not my intention. I am merely a seeker of truth, as we all must be.’

He pointed a twisted finger at my master. ‘Beware of the truth, preceptor, for it wears many faces, as you may already know, but you have not come by it this evening. There is no conclusion to be drawn here, only suppositions and speculations that may lead us all into the pit of inquisition!’

‘Perhaps you are correct,’ my master said humbly. ‘If you will pardon us, we will retire. It has been a very long day.’

Thus we left the infirmary and hurried to our lodgings. The weather once again turned disagreeable, with a cold wind sweeping up the gorges. My master retired to his cell, and I to mine, so tired that I did not light my lamp, falling onto my pallet fully clothed, as was our custom, but I found that I was unable to sleep, tossing and turning until a late hour. The old monk’s death and Setubar’s words coursing through my troubled mind, it was only after I drank a small draft of wine that peace finally overtook me, and consequently it was the sound of the night bell announcing matins, and the gentle intonation of the choir wafting through the compound, that finally woke me from an uneasy sleep. I thanked God once again for the wisdom of a rule that allows for the opening psalm to be recited somewhat slowly! I was able to join my master in the stalls at the saying of the words, ‘Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul,’ before the closing of the great doors, and the reciting of the Gloria.

Thus this remarkable day would have come to an end in blissful contemplation of those dark hours just before dawn, if I did not first need to narrate something that occurred between the hour of my troubled sleep and the hour of the Holy Office. The first of many such experiences that, to this day, remains as vivid as it did that cold night in my cell at the monastery of St Lazarus.





IGNIS


THE FIRST TRIAL



‘. . . and your sons and daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions.

Joel ii 28





5


Capitulum


Awoke flushed with perspiration, a strange feeling, not exactly fear and yet quite close to it, radiating to my every limb. It was cold, but from my cell window I could see that it had not snowed, higher in the night sky it was clear, and across to the east a starry script written indelibly in God’s hand promised an answer to all my questions . . . but alas I did not, in my ignorance, understand its mysterious language. By the position of the moon I guessed that it must be sometime before midnight. Soon, the bell would toll matins. Down below, a light burnt and I wondered if the pilgrim was awake gazing up at the moon as I was. He had been in my dream, the pilgrim. I should go down, I told myself, and make his acquaintance.