‘Yes.’
‘But now it appears that you know a great deal?’
‘It is always best to seem ignorant when measuring another’s wisdom, Christian.’
‘Why? It seems to me that an honest exchange of knowledge can only further us in our investigations.’
He rolled his eyes heavenward and I am ashamed to say that he uttered a blasphemy in Arabic. ‘Have I taught you nothing! We are not at a university exchanging pleasurable views on varied topics of interest. We are conducting an investigation where our goal is to test a suspect’s knowledge when his guard is at its lowest.’
Once again I thought he sounded very much like the inquisitor.
‘So your empathy was another formula to loosen his tongue?’
‘There’s nothing better . . . Once a man senses that you understand him, that you too think the same way, he will say almost anything . . . Many have fallen by the edge of the sword, Christian, but not so many as have fallen by the tongue.’
Once at my cell door Andre bid me to take a rest, for he said lauds would be a most unhappy service this day.
‘Keep your door locked,’ he said, ‘and your ears sharp! The inquisitor is a fool. Indeed, I know there are murderers at large and they are as real as we are.’
Entering my cell in silence I discarded my shoes and lay down in a foetal position, fearful. I huddled in my pallet, praying silently.
Qui sedes ad dextram Patris miserere nobis . . . Thou who sittest at the right hand of the Father, have mercy on us.
TERRA
THE FOURTH TRIAL
‘The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.’
Proverbs xxvii 7
19
Capitulum
I dreamt that I was surrounded by bees. They entered the cavities of my ears and I could hear the word as spoken by the fathers, the interpreters of scripture, of whom it is said that they make the honey of the spiritual understanding of the word of God. They penetrated my mouth, and I spoke forth words of majesty and splendour! They whispered profound mysteries through the continual movement of their wings. They told me that individual freedom was the future of mankind, that heresy wears two faces, that violence is evil and love conquers above all human emotions, that poverty was the ideal but sacrifice was greater. Below me on earth, I saw the inquisitor, but his eyes were the colour of blood, like the eyes of a devil, and his mouth became like that of a serpent, and he was about to swallow the monastery whole, when a light from out of the depths, from out of the catacombs, shone out all around and into the cosmic spaces where the angels rejoiced! This light was indeed the brightest light I have ever seen, and inside this light I saw a figure, and I knew it to be the sick boy. The one that the monks would not discuss. The elusive dying novice. A voice then rang out through space, and I heard it say,
‘Have you sufficient oil in thine own lamp? Make it such that the twelve become seven and the seven stars appear.’
I woke and found myself sitting up on my pallet, trembling from cold, and perspiring profusely. Another vision! Would I never escape this torment! Outside I could hear the wind, as a faint light heralded dawn through my window. I would not be able to sleep now. There were too many things to consider, so I resolved to ready myself for prime and, putting on my sandals, I ventured out into the gloom.
The wind had whipped up the freshly fallen snow, making it difficult to see, especially as I had no light to guide me, for I had to ask the hospitaller for more oil and tapers and I knew that he would become suspicious were I to do so. A groaning whistle met me as gusts circled the abbey, swirling and surging around the bell tower. Coiling and entwining, the wind encountered the hardness of stone and was deflected in countless directions. I heard other sounds, too. Sounds that were almost human, and I realised, to my great relief, that the noises were coming from the direction of the stables. The awful night had disturbed the animals. I changed direction and headed there to see that they were safely tied and had enough water. This took me some time, for I seemed to be taking more steps in a backward direction than in a forward one. By the time I entered the building I was cold and exhausted.
The stables afforded one little comfort from the conditions outside, and I did not remove my cowl immediately but walked inside, patting my sides and stamping my numb feet. I found old Brutus, whose whining began the instant he saw me. I gave him a morsel that I had procured from the kitchen the day before and looked for Gilgamesh. The beautiful steed raised his head when he saw me, and as I neared him he edged forward, nudging my arm with affection. I must confess to having saved him the best morsel and this I gave gladly, patting his long graceful neck and smoothing out his mane.