“You did, when you left me. It’s always bothered me that I needed your father’s money to save Tempest Hall. It’s been the flawed motive at the heart of our marriage. When you left, I finally realized, with Retta’s advice, that I needed to change myself before I could become a husband worthy of you.”
Cathy saw his strong brown hand move toward hers on the tablecloth. Nothing in her life had prepared her for such a scene with so splendid a man. As tears crowded her throat, she reached toward Adam’s hand and touched him, releasing an inner tide of suppressed yearning.
“I am not without hope,” she murmured.
He closed his eyes, took a breath, and his mouth bent in a charmingly lopsided smile. “Good. That’s good.”
For a moment, gazing at him in the candlelight, Cathy saw him again as he had been in their bed. Naked, hard-muscled, graceful and sensual. She remembered the feeling of her fingers in the black hair that now was brushed back so neatly from his brow, the firm warmth of his skin against her own. As memories of his fiery, intimate kisses crept in, she began to blush and forced herself back to the present.
Adam, watching her, slowly arched a brow. “I too am not without hope, my darling. Shall we have our dessert on the beach?”
Before she could speak, he was behind her, pulling out her chair. His fingers grazed her waist as she rose and turned to face him. Impulsively, Cathy touched his cheek. “Yes, I should like that.”
“Have I told you how beautiful you look in that gown?”
“It was one of those Mother ordered for me from Worth last Season. It always seemed too elegant for me, but now I find that it suits me.” Her smile widened.
“You are like a new butterfly, growing ever comfortable with your beauty.”
She thought Adam might take her in his arms and kiss her then, but instead he gathered into one hand the two small dishes of guava mousse that the servants had brought. The coffee and brandy were left behind as he dropped spoons into a coat pocket and took her elbow with his free hand. There were steps leading from the terrace down to the lawn, and then a pathway to the beach. They walked together in emotion-charged silence, enveloped by moonlight and the sound of the waves crashing on the beach.
When they reached the white sand, Adam gestured to a large flat rock that made an ideal bench. He held her hand as she perched on the edge, then joined her, sitting so that their shoulders and hips touched. The contact with his male body stirred her deepest and most fragile longings.
Adam put a spoon and the little ramekin of mousse into her hand. “It’s one of Retta’s specialties. Did you know that she came here tonight, to help cook this meal for us? She’s been quite strict with me since you left.”
Glancing up, she saw the smile that flickered at the corners of his mouth. “She loves you.”
“Yes. I’m very grateful for her presence. She reminds me of my grandparents, who provided the most stable part of my past.” He took a bite of the flavorful mousse and considered his next words. “Cathy, you asked me once about my family, and I brushed you aside. I’d like to remedy that now.”
She nodded slowly. “Please.”
“I had a relatively normal childhood. My father was a university professor, and we divided the year between Oxford and Thorn Manor in Kent. My grandparents visited occasionally from Barbados. I had a pony and a dog like Alice. Then, when I was twelve, everything changed. My father wasn’t a very approachable person; I think he was closer to his books, and he also began to go on mountain climbing expeditions, which took him away from home for long periods of time. Mother grew lonely, I think. She took a lover, a baron from a neighboring estate, and one day I walked in on them.”
“Oh, Adam!” Immediately, Cathy thought of her own pain when she had seen her father kissing his lover on the morning of her wedding.
He looked away, then met her eyes. “I’ve never talked about this to anyone except Gran. I hate it.”
“I understand. You don’t have to go on.”
“But I do. I can’t continue to keep parts of me locked away from you.” He took a deep breath. “My father came home that same day, and I was so angry and confused that I told him what I’d seen. That was the worst mistake of my life. My parents had a terrible row... I will never forget the sound of their shouts and Father throwing things. Truthfully, I thought he was going to murder her. Father returned to Switzerland the next day and was soon killed in an avalanche. One couldn’t help wondering what risks he had taken in his state of shock and rage.”
Horrified, Cathy held fast to his hand. “I am so sorry.” She sensed he must have blamed himself, but couldn’t bring herself to say the words.
Adam was silent for a long moment, during which old feelings of guilt flared in his eyes. Then, he drew a harsh sigh and continued, “My mother fell ill after that and was never the same. She sent me farther away to school, and I spent holidays with her brother’s family, who weren’t particularly welcoming.”
“I begin to understand you,” she murmured.
“Well, I’m a grown man now, and I am determined not to remain a prisoner of the past. Thank God for my grandparents, who brought me to Barbados for summers and who showed me that it was possible for two people to love each other.”
“What happened to your mother?”
Adam rubbed his jaw, lost in memories. “She died a few years ago. We had an opportunity to become closer in the months before her death... and Alice was Mother’s dog, you may recall. Also, during the years I was at university, Mother became involved in caring for orphans in the village of Thorncliff. That’s how I came to later give our manor house to the village for use as an orphanage.” Pausing, he gave her a bleak smile. “That is, after I gambled away every shilling I had for its upkeep.”
“Oh, Adam, I am grateful to you for sharing your story with me. My heart aches for you, for the boy whose life was turned upside down by the betrayal and flawed judgment of adults.” Her eyes gleamed with tears. “You and I have suffered some of the same hurts.”
Raveneau set his dessert aside and turned toward her. Again, she expected him to take her in his arms and kiss her, but instead he simply reached for her small hand and brought it to his chest. Through the starched fabric of his shirt, she felt the powerful thump of his heart.
“That’s what you do to me,” he said in a rough whisper. “I ache for you.”
She could only nod, unable to trust her own voice.
“I have a gift for you.” From his other coat pocket, he brought out a slim case covered in threadbare velvet.
Cathy accepted it and gently pushed the tiny ruby button that opened the box. Inside was a fragile-looking fan. “Oh, it’s beautiful! I’m afraid to touch it.”
“Don’t be. It’s Gran Adrienne’s fan, and she meant you to have it.” Watching as she unfurled the confection of ivory, embroidered silk, and lace, Adam added, “The silk was embroidered in the fifteenth century. Legend has it that Marie Antoinette had the fan made after receiving the silk as a gift.”
She turned wide eyes up to him. “It’s the most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen.”
“It actually caused the meeting between my grandparents. My spirited Gran saw it in a London shop window and ordered her carriage driver to stop. Grandfather’s phaeton was in the way, and she mistook him for a coachman and said some things she shouldn’t have.” Adam grinned at the memory of the two of them relating the story to him during his childhood. “When he later realized that she had caused that scene in the middle of Oxford Street over a fan, he wasn’t very gentlemanly in his treatment of her.”
“How romantic!”
He laughed, shaking his head. “I may never understand women.”
“I adore the fan. Thank you so much. I shall cherish and protect it.” Reverently, she returned it to the velvet case.
“And I shall envy it, being so close to you.” He slipped both hands around her small waist. “Ah, Cath, what a fool I’ve been.”
She gazed up at his sculpted face, savoring each moment as at last he gathered her into his embrace and slowly covered her mouth with his. Helplessly, Cathy wrapped her arms around his wide shoulders, touching his collar and the crisp curls that brushed it. Everything about him felt like coming home. She couldn’t suppress a soft moan as he parted her lips and deepened their kiss, his tongue tasting hers, at first gently and then ardently. His heart was beating against her through the thin silk of her bodice. Her breasts were tightening and the place between her legs was moist, longing, tingling.
As his mouth moved to scorch the side of her jaw and find the pulse below her ear, every nerve in her body was alive with arousal. She waited for him to mold his hand to her breast, to lean back with her so that her hips could make contact with his.
But instead he seemed to be gently disengaging from her.
“My darling,” he murmured. “You’ll never know how much I’ve missed you in my arms.”
“Aren’t you...”
“Yes?” He held her slightly away and smoothed soft tendrils back from her brow.
“Aren’t you going to... ravish me?”