Teague(28)

"I will," Jack replied, looking from her and to Teague. Jack's brother leaned against the countertop, holding a mug of steaming coffee. There was no expression in his face. It was as if he'd already checked out.

Teague cleared his throat and set his mug down. He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and his dark eyes never left hers.

"I'll see you later?" he asked, his voice low.

A heartbeat passed.

Sabrina nodded. "You know where I am."

She called Bingo and the puppy ran after her, yipping happily at her heels as she walked across the driveway in careful, measured steps. She didn't look back-she kept her gaze focused ahead.

Once inside her cottage, all of Sabrina's bravado seeped out of her like air from a balloon. She exhaled and ran to the kitchen, tossing her coffee into the sink. She gasped. There was no air. God, she couldn't breathe.

Clutching at the edge of the counter, her thoughts whirled and images attacked her mind, taunting her. Images of Teague and the time they'd shared these past few weeks. Scattered thoughts and images of a future she wanted. She hadn't realized just how much she'd wanted it until this very moment.

Sabrina slammed her eyes shut and put her fist in her mouth so that the guttural scream inside her stayed exactly where it should be. Buried. And hopefully never heard again.





Chapter Twenty-one





Teague waited until dark to walk over and see Sabrina. It took him that long to get his head straight on account that it had been one hell of a day. Jack had always managed to get under his skin because the man was relentless and could argue for hours.

The arguments he'd posed as to why Teague should stay on North American soil had been impressive. Yes the political unrest posed imminent danger for Americans. Yes Dallas most likely was dead. Yes, he might be a complete fucking moron to even entertain the idea of going back.

But all of that was for nothing because the one thing that Jack couldn't understand was the one thing inside Teague that wouldn't let him stay behind. And maybe it was the soldier in him, the Seal who'd had the backs of the men in his unit. Maybe it was the part of him that had seen too much death and destruction. Or maybe it was a fatal flaw in his genetic makeup, a gene that made him seek out danger with no thought to his own safety.

In the end, the reasons for it didn't matter because the moment Bowen called Teague, he was done.

He had to go.

He paused at the bottom of the stairs leading to Sabrina's house and stared up at the soft light that fell from her windows. It was early evening and the crickets were out in full force, singing their night song. He caught sight of a bat, swooping low across the upper deck, searching for mosquitos, and watched until it disappeared into the trees.

Other than the insects, it was quiet and he knew that the kids must be in bed or their excited babble and giggles would easily have echoed into the night. Sabrina was up there alone, waiting for him.

And God knows he needed to see her.

Teague climbed the stairs and just as he was about to knock, the door opened. He found himself staring down into a face that he knew he'd be thinking about every single night he was gone. It would haunt him. Comfort him. And hopefully it would be the very thing to bring him back.

Sabrina was in an old sweatshirt that was way too big on her and he was going to assume it belonged to her late husband. Fluffy pink slippers adorned her feet, and he found himself wishing he could see her multi colored toes.

"If it's too late," he began but stopped when she moved aside. Teague walked into the house and glanced around. "Kids in bed?"                       
       
           



       

Sabrina nodded. "They were tuckered out. Had a late night at Allie's and then all afternoon on the beach in the sun did them in. Harry was falling asleep at the dinner table."

She fingered the edge of her sweatshirt. "Jack wasn't very happy when he left."

There it was. Now there was no hiding.

Teague sighed and shrugged. "No. He doesn't understand the situation and he sure as hell doesn't understand me."

Sabrina was silent for a few moments and then she pointed to the deck. "Do you want to sit outside?"

He almost said yes, but then he realized that the cover of darkness was too easy. This right here needed to be done under the unrelenting exposure of light, because there could be no room for error, no miscommunication. No wishful thinking for an easy fix. This right here was gonna be as real as it gets and aside from his mother, Sabrina was the only person on the planet who he needed to understand him.

Teague didn't say yes or no. Instead he grabbed her hand and led her to the sofa in the living room. He sat down and waited for her to do the same. When she did finally sit, she kept some space between them. That was smart of her-a form of self-preservation-but he hated it all the same.

She folded her hands onto her lap and glanced up at him, nearly tearing his heart out when he saw the hurt and pain in her eyes. It was gone, so fast that another man might easily convince himself it wasn't there. But Teague had lived with that kind of pain for a long time now, and he knew what it looked like.

He knew what it felt like. And the feeling sucked. He hated that he'd been the one responsible for it. Sabrina deserved so much more.

"I'm leaving for Syria next week."

"Jack told me."

Teague frowned. "What else did he say?"

"Nothing. He just thought I should know."

Teague wasn't surprised. His brother had torn a strip off him when he'd realized Teague and Sabrina had been together. Jack had said he was a selfish son-of-a-bitch to get involved with a young widow and two kids.

Teague couldn't argue with that. His brother was right.

"I was going to tell you this morning and I'm sorry that you had to find out that way."

Her bottom lip trembled and he reached over, smoothing her mouth with a gentle caress. "Hey," he said softly. "I wish this wasn't so hard."

"I know, but it is." She leaned into his hand. "Jack doesn't get why you put yourself in danger again and again. He doesn't understand what would make a man chase a story that could kill him. It was hard for me to defend you because I have to be honest with you, Teague, I don't get it either."

"It's hard to put into words."

She attempted a smile but it fell flat. "I need you to try, Teague. I need you to make me understand how you can just up and leave us."

He tried to speak but she rushed on.

"I'm not naïve. I know that this," she waved her hands wildly, "whatever this is, had about a five percent chance of lasting more than a few weeks. And up until last night, I thought that maybe I was just some sort of summer fling. A fuck-buddy."

"A what?" he interjected, not enjoying her version of events.

Sabrina made a face. "A fling. Someone to screw."

"You're not that at all." Suddenly filled with shame, Teague moved closer to her. "If I've made you feel that way, then I'm sorry. That was never where my head was at."

"That's nice to hear, Teague. It really is. But no matter what you feel or what I feel, you're still leaving us and I don't know if I'll ever see you again."

"Hey," he said, but she shrugged him off.

"It's okay, Teague. Whatever drives you can't be silenced. I think I get that. But last night was … ." Her voice caught and he felt like an absolute shit. "I wanted last night to be more than a memory."

Damned if her eyes weren't filling with tears. "Bree?" he asked. She tried to tug her hands from his, but he wouldn't let her. He couldn't break the tenuous connection they had. Not yet anyway.

What the hell did he say to that? Teague swore under his breath, searching for the right words.

"This … Sabrina you came out of nowhere. You and Harry and Morgan. I wasn't expecting to meet anyone and maybe I should have backed off and kept my distance but I didn't."

He took a moment, looked for a place of calm, and then the words just sort of tumbled out of him.

"These last few weeks have been incredible. Bree, I've never felt a connection to a woman the way I do when I'm with you. I just never have. And your kids, they're the coolest little people I've ever met. But … "                       
       
           



       

Her eyes were shiny, huge and so goddamn sad that it made him furious to know he was responsible for it.

"But you're not the happy-ever-after guy."

Teague swore under her breath, hating the pain he'd caused. Wondering what the hell was wrong with him. Wondering how to explain.

"I've never been good at staying in one place for long. This is going to sound weird, but it's like there's a part of me that is constantly moving. Spinning out of control. Like it's a piece that's searching for the right slot to fit into and the only time it stops spinning is when I'm on assignment."

"Like you're missing something."

She was getting it. Relief flooded him. "Exactly. When I joined the Navy, I thought I found that missing piece but it took me less than two years to realize that I was still searching for that thing. So I left the Navy when my last tour was up and got a gig photographing the slaughter of Rhinos in Africa. I'd found a purpose again. Every assignment I got was a shot of adrenaline and for a while, that need for danger replaced this missing piece inside me.