“They all belong to Ryder?” I squeaked through the tightening of my throat as it choked from tears.
“They do. Some are used for guests, his men, and others he keeps untouched by any but himself in a separate part of this place.”
“Take me home, Adam, please,” I whispered brokenly.
“I can't go with you, Syn. I'm under contract. The only way I have out is to go home to my father.”
“Will you be okay if you help me get out of here?” I asked, not wanting to get him in trouble for helping me.
“I'll be fine, Syn. Will you?”
“Just take me home, Adam, please.”
“Come. I have been exploring what little I can since I got here. Most of this place has been warded and sealed off from me, so there was only so much I could see. I did find a portal that I am sure was not meant to be found by us. This place is a maze; one meant to keep people in it. I can get you home through it. I need to know you will be okay, Syn. As a friend who is going through the same thing, I’m worried about you.”
“Huh, you had a crazy Fairy turn your ex into a vampire and watch you do naughty stuff inside your bedroom, too?” I joked, which made Adam laugh. It had been my aim, even though my heart was breaking.
Ryder had a courtyard full of beautiful Fae—why the hell had he wanted me? I felt my heart drop to my feet, and I stepped over it to enter the portal that would take me home, without my Dark Prince of secrets by my side.
Chapter Seventeen
It had been six days since I’d left Ryder and Faery behind. And, even though I’d left him behind, it felt as if he was still with me. When I slept at night, I could still smell him and feel his arms wrapped around me. I dreamt of him watching me sleep, and even though he never responded to me in the dreams, his presence was strangely soothing.
It shouldn’t have been. After everything he’d done to me, I should have hated him. The problem was that I was new to this life and still slightly under contract, since I couldn’t sift. It was a lot to take in; that he’d been watching Adrian and I, and had given the order for Adrian to be changed just to have me. I wasn’t even sure I’d actually processed it all yet. I wasn’t sure what was worse; the fact that he’d watched me inside my bedroom without me knowing he was there, or that he’d admitted to it.
Marie had brought me to his attention, but why? Had she known? I hated that every time I found answers, those led to more questions. Worse yet, it normally led to the dead, which couldn’t answer them for me. My entire life always pointed to the answers that only the dead, who couldn’t speak, could provide.
I’d spent the entire morning tearing through boxes trying to find something that could point me to my birth parents. My mother had been impeccable at keeping records. She’d kept a detailed record of everything but me. By noon I had given up and started packing the room back up.
I’d tried eating like I used to before Transition, since Ryder and his men had assured me that I could. I gave that up fast and turned to comfort food like chocolate, and then ice cream…which led to me sitting at the table cussing at the endless calories that did nothing to sate the hunger pangs started to gnaw at me like a fire burning out of control in a dry forest. At least I’d had several days reprieve before the hunger had started in on me again.
I was settling in to a routine; a very unhealthy one. I glared at my own reflection. It was a stark reminder that I was no longer human, and that I couldn’t even try to act like one now because of it. I also noticed that I had the same glow that the Light Fae had—was I half Blood Fae and half Light, or was it just the dye Alden had injected into me at the Guild that had somehow jumped to the brands I’d inherited since Transition? These types of little things would lead my mind down the path about my origins that I did not want to go down. And then there was Ryder. He was on my mind twenty-four seven, or so it seemed, and I knew that wouldn’t change anytime soon. I was actually missing the overbearing caveman!
I could have been an ad for drugs; only not so much for the drugs…and more for Fairies. This was your brain before Fairies…and I could then play the part of the brain after Fairies had played with it. I was moving through the motions of living, but Ryder had been right—I hadn’t been living. I’d been doing what I thought I was meant to do. I’d been damn good at pretending to be happy, and, if I was honest about it, I really hadn’t been.
I couldn’t complain too much. I’d had amazing friends. I’d been loved. Even though Larissa had been hard on me and had kept things to herself, in the end, I knew it had been to help me. I couldn’t go back to what I had known my entire life. I had no idea where I fit in now if not with Ryder. I was pathetic, and I missed him.