Tarnished(5)

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Kenzie shivered, clear to the bone. It was him. The guy from last time she’d spotted across the room just before jerkface had grabbed her arm and led her unceremoniously from the meeting hall. What would have happened if she’d not been so naïve that night? She’d known she wasn’t attracted to … Mark? Marvin? Marcus? Yeah, that was it. Marcus. The bastard.

He’d seemed certain, so she’d naïvely given him a chance. As soon as he had her alone in the hall, he’d smashed his mouth to hers without a word. His lips had been rough. Disgusting. Putrid. And as soon as she’d broken free of his clutch, she’d headed for the ladies room and sat in a stall until she was sure he had given up.

She’d not told anyone about the incident. What if they blamed her? Had she encouraged him in some way? She didn’t think so, but she still had no interest in rehashing the event. Ever.

Kenzie wrapped her arms around her middle and followed on her family’s heels. Her sisters were eager to get to the main hall—more of a meat market, as far as Kenzie was concerned. A butcher zone she had high hopes of avoiding. First of all, she had no wish to repeat last gathering’s farce of an evening. And second of all, she had a boyfriend. A nice one. One she could count on. A chill went down her spine as she thought about what both her sisters had insinuated this morning. They had to be wrong. No way was she dating a gay man and didn’t know it.

As though conjured with her thoughts, her cell vibrated in the back pocket of her jeans. When she pulled it out and saw a text from Darrell, she smiled.

“I need to talk to you. Do you have a minute?”

Her face fell. What did he need? He’d said he was spending the evening with his family.

Kenzie ducked out a side door and stepped into the midday sunshine. Good. No one was in the area. She sat down on the concrete beside the entrance and leaned against the siding. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was private.

She pushed a few buttons on her phone and waited for Darrell to answer. Her body shook as though she were cold, even though she had on too many clothes for the warm day.

“Kenz?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” She gave her best casual voice a try, hearing a squeak leak out anyway on the last syllable.

“Um, Mackenzie, I wasn’t quite truthful with you earlier. I’m trying to balls up and be honest.”

“Oh, okay.” Not okay. Not okay. Not okay.

“I’m not who you think I am.”

Yes, you are. Please tell me this is a bad nightmare, and you are exactly who I think you are. She couldn’t breathe. She gripped the phone so tight it was a wonder the case didn’t break.

“I’m so sorry. I tried. I really did. I wanted to be who you needed me to be. I did … but I’m not. And it’s not fair to you or to me to keep dragging this out.”

What are you rambling about? Spit it out. Make it complete. Don’t make me say it for you. She swallowed, her mouth so dry she could barely pull her lips apart.

“Kenz? You still there?”

“Yeah,” she muttered.

“I met someone.”

What? Met someone? Yeah, you met me. Months ago. We’re a couple.

“I mean, I sorta knew this would happen eventually, but I just … lied to myself.”

“What? Knew what would happen?” Why did she have to go and ask a stupid question like that?

“The person I met is, well … it’s a man.”

Fuck. Why was she always the last to know these things? What the hell was wrong with her own gaydar? Kenzie tucked her head between her legs. That’s what people did to keep from hyperventilating, right?

“Kenz?”

She couldn’t open her lips.

“You still there? I’m so sorry. I really am. It’s not you—”

“Stop,” she croaked. “Don’t even give me the ‘it’s-not-you-it’s-me’ speech. Spare me that much, okay?”

He sighed. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I really am.”

“I know. It’s okay.” It’s not. But I’ll survive.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not yelling at me. Or whatever. This is really hard for me. I haven’t even told my parents yet. I figured I owed it to tell you first and … just thank you for not going crazy. That’s all.”

“I guess I sorta knew it.”

“You did?” His voice rose.

“Well, not specifically, but I should have.” She lifted her gaze and squinted into the sun. Shit. Damn.

“I’m gonna go. Can we talk again later?” He sounded so hopeful. Desperate.

“Sure.” Not a chance in hell.