Ugh. Deep breath. He gripped his cock with one hand and squeezed his eyes shut. He had to stop this line of thinking if he expected to live through the night.
Minutes ticked by. He was glad he didn’t have a grandfather clock that would pace the seconds, or he’d go mad.
A noise jerked him alert. He sat up and a silhouette filled the door. Only the faint light from the window made her visible. “You okay?”
She shifted in the doorframe. “No,” she muttered. “And I’m not happy about it, either.”
He smiled. He didn’t mean to make light of her situation, but he was so damn glad he wasn’t alone. She did care. He had to remind himself of that often since she insisted repeatedly to the contrary.
“Do you think I could get a small taste of that kiss you mentioned earlier?” She paused, and he held his breath. “If you don’t think it’s a good idea, I’ll understand. I’m not trying to be a bitch. Really, I’m not. I can’t offer more right now. I just … need you to hold me. You were right. My heart does race. My hands are sweaty. My brain is scrambled. And I want to be no other place than in your arms with your mouth on mine right now.”
She’d remembered every word. He swallowed. “Anything, babe. Anything you want. I made a promise to you. I won’t break that promise. You can trust me.”
She hesitated.
“Come here.” He held out a hand, and she stepped toward him.
When she reached the bed, he flipped the blanket back, grasped her hand, and pulled her to sit.
“I’m sorry. I’m … broken. This is too weird for me. I’m torn and stressed and angry and frustrated and a bitch. Please be patient with me.”
“Of course.” He tugged her hand. “Lie down. I’ll hold you. Maybe you can sleep.” I know I won’t, but I don’t give a fuck what happens to me as long as you’re peaceful.
She settled in his arms, one he’d tucked under her head, and one he wrapped over her as he pulled the covers over her shivering form. He grazed her shoulder, soothing her with his fingers. He conjured up all the strength he had to remain still and calm. It was the greatest feat of his life.
She was stiff but still shaking. “I’m sorry. This is a bad idea.”
“You’re fine. Stop apologizing. Kenzie, you’re my mate. I’d do anything for you. Know that. I will not hurt you. Have I said that enough? I’ll keep telling you until you believe it in your heart and in your soul. Relax. This is going to be whatever you need it to be and nothing more.”
She struggled, bless her. And he held her shivering form as she continued to twitch with nervous energy. He could smell her arousal. She wore a T-shirt and soft shorts—the same sort of thing he’d seen her wearing this morning when he’d arrived at her door. Had that been just this morning?
She turned her face to him slowly. “Will you kiss me?”
He set his forehead against hers and breathed in her essence. She smelled of Kenzie, innocence and sweetness. Slowly, he lowered his lips to hers. He started out with the slightest grazing of his mouth over hers. Just a brush until she softened to his touch.
He nibbled her lower lip with both of his and then leaned closer and applied a fraction of pressure, kissing her with less than half the abandon he wanted to.
She was hesitant, although her body began to relax beneath his arm as she transferred her concentration to her mouth.
She tasted like heaven. He’d kissed other women, but none as sweet as her. Her innocence melted his heart. He consciously had to prevent himself from growling his humble appreciation for what she was giving him. Her first real kiss. Please, God, allow me to have all her firsts. I promise to make her the happiest woman on earth if I may just have every first she ever needs.
After a minute of gentle kisses, he licked the seam of her lips. She opened for him, allowing him to trace a line over her teeth. She moaned softly, most likely unaware of her rapture.
A subtle tip of his head, and he locked their mouths together tighter, tasting, licking, memorizing her feel.
She gripped the arm he’d wrapped across her middle with both hands, her nails digging into his flesh and grounding him. He loved the contact. Anything from her was a blessing.
Louder moans escaped her lips, and she flinched. She broke off the kiss, turning her head away from him and gasping for air. “Oh God,” she muttered. Her grip tightened on his arm.
Her stiff body shifted toward him. He draped his top leg over hers. Her smooth skin felt so feminine against his rough leg.
“You okay?” he muttered. He dared to nibble her ear.
“I’m…” She didn’t finish the thought. She pushed against him and scrambled to stand next to the bed. She sucked in deep breaths, staring down at him. And then she turned and fled the room.