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Tarnished(20)

By:Becca Jameson


“Nope.”

“You left off the ‘not yet’ part.” He shook his head. “You’re going to make me work for this, aren’t you?”

“Hell yes. And I intend for you to give it your best shot, so that in the end you will know for certain it wasn’t going to work out.”

His jaw dropped open.

She took a bite and licked the mayonnaise from her lower lip.

He glanced away and inhaled. “Is that the only reason you agreed to go with me?” He didn’t touch his sandwich. It sat in the wrapper on the table. His hands gripped the wooden table top as he tried to control his emotions, unsuccessfully. She watched his cheeks pinken with frustration—his jaw tight and rigid.

Score one for me.

“Yep.” She took another bite, trying to appear unaffected by him. That was the goal. Too bad she could hardly swallow. Her mouth was so dry she couldn’t chew the bite or even taste it. She was lying through her teeth. Her knees bobbed up and down of their own accord to prove it to her. She wanted to kiss him so bad she had to breathe through her mouth just to avoid his scent.

Drake closed his eyes and sat back. A muscle twitched in his neck. His tight T-shirt stretched across his shoulders as they rose and fell.

She was already proving her point. Men could not control themselves. They were all selfish bastards with only one thing on their minds.

“Kenzie,” he murmured as he lowered his gaze to her. “You are so misguided.”

“And you are so condescending.” When would she stop pestering him, taunting him? When he decided she wasn’t worth it and left her. That was the goal.

“Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you have no feelings for me at all? Your heart doesn’t race when you’re near me? Your palms aren’t sweaty? Your mind isn’t scrambled? You aren’t the least bit curious about what it might feel like for me to hold you in my arms and kiss you senseless?” He lowered his voice as he spoke so no one around could hear him.

She swallowed her bite and took a gulp of soda. He was right, of course. And that was the clincher. The one point making her so nervous she almost doubted her resolve. Everything he’d said was indisputable. And part of her hated him for his accuracy. The part that wasn’t consumed with wishing he would put the last part into action and get it over with so she could breathe.

Her hesitation was too long.

“I didn’t think so,” he whispered. He reached across the table and took her hands in his. He squeezed gently, reassuring her. “I hope one day soon you will trust me enough to share what happened to you that made you so distrustful. I know there was an event. Something more than the unwanted kiss from the last gathering. No one is this skittish without reason. I’m here for you, and I want you to confide in me. I know you don’t feel comfortable enough yet to trust me, but I will work hard to earn that trust—every day. Please give me the chance to prove myself. If you keep throwing daggers at every opportunity, you will get your self-fulfilling prophesy. I don’t want that for either of us. It will be painful, and we will both end up lonely.

“I won’t give up on you. Not without a lot of effort on your part. I won’t push you. I won’t cheat on you. I won’t disrespect you. I’m an all-around nice guy.” He gave a wry grin.

When he released her, they ate their meal in silence. She needed to clear her head. Would she ever be able to accomplish that task? She tasted nothing. When they finished, they balled up their wrappers and tossed them in the trash.

Instead of aiming for the truck, Drake took her hand and led her down the sidewalk. He didn’t speak. He simply guided her leisurely along, seemingly deep in thought when she dared glance at him.

His hand felt … right, warm with just the perfect amount of pressure.

“What do you like to do in your free time?” he asked finally.

“Read mostly. Or hang out with friends.” Except all my friends are really Darrell’s friends. She’d probably not see them again.

She’d been living a lie, spending time with a man she didn’t love, obviously for a good reason. She’d dated him for months. Held his hand many times. It wasn’t as warm or as perfect as Drake’s hand, but she’d not known the difference. All she’d been concerned with was that he didn’t push her to go farther. Now she knew why.

He didn’t comment on her extension of the truth.

“What do you do?”

He glanced down at her, a bit stunned.

She smiled. “I’m not a total bitch. I do care.”

“Hmm. I don’t leave the ranch often. I’m busy, and I love my work. I do a lot with my family. There are four of us kids. We drive my mom crazy. Too much testosterone. She’s going to be overjoyed to meet you, by the way. Let me apologize in advance. The woman has lived with only men for almost three decades. I’m not sure she can contain herself.”