All she could do was weakly hold on to his forearms as she leaned back against him, her breath coming in rapid pants. She didn’t want to leave that moment behind, with his body pressed so intimately to hers, his cock still pulsing inside her. She wanted to stay that way forever.
Chris murmured, “You okay?”
Her hair was stuck to his sweat-slicked shoulder as she nodded. “Yes. Thanks for the mirror.”
He rumbled against her as he kissed her shoulder, her throat, her cheek, and her temple. “Darlin’, I—” He paused for a beat, cleared his throat, and then said, “I thought you’d like it.” She wondered what he’d meant to say before he changed his mind.
Julián stroked her upper arm, getting her attention, and she realized his skin was damp and he was nude except for the towel around his hips. “I started the shower and went ahead and took mine. You two sounded like you enjoyed yourselves very much.” He kissed her and added, “I’ll dress and start breakfast while you shower.”
“Thank you,” was the most she could manage. Julián started dressing as Chris tightened his arms, squeezing her as though she were infinitely precious to him. She hadn’t come from a family that was particularly touchy-feely, and after her sister had passed away, the hugs had been few and far between.
The way these two men showed affection, touching her and hugging her, kissing her, was so satisfying, and she knew it was because they were filling a deep void with all of their loving attention. She’d never felt so loved, and that thought gave her real pause.
They’d told her they understood about her leaving in March and made it clear they were okay with that. She already knew how leaving would affect her. But how would it affect them? And was this fair to them?
Chris slid a palm over her abdomen as he slowly withdrew his cock from her tingling pussy and she climbed from the bed on wobbling legs. After getting in the shower, he drew her in with him under the hot, invigorating spray.
She stood there motionless and then turned to him and put her arms around him and let the water flow over her, uncaring of the torrent that streamed over her head. It covered the tears that seeped from her eyes.
This man loved her. He hadn’t said the words to her personally but it was clear in every touch, every look, and every word. He didn’t try to hide it or put up a front. She’d do unspeakable harm to this gentle giant when she left him.
What have I done?
Her back bowed and a sob escaped.
“Darlin’? What’s the matter? Did I hurt you?”
“I’m a bad p–person.”
A brief chuckle rumbled in Chris’s chest as he turned them so that the spray no longer rained down on her head. “No you’re not. Why would you think that?”
“If I leave in March, it’ll hurt you, won’t it?”
He gazed at her with those sweet, chocolaty brown eyes and smiled sadly. “I’ll feel like a part of me is missing. Like my right hand has been amputated.”
“Then why did you agree to this arrangement? I can’t stand hurting you, Chris.”
He brushed her wet hair from her face and said, “Why did I agree to this? Because I knew I’d regret it forever if I didn’t, regardless of the outcome. And when March comes, if I have to let you go I will, because I want you to be happy.” She could see the pain in his eyes, and she knew when that moment came, they’d both be shattered. But her ranch and her horse hung in the balance. She needed Zephyr and she wanted back what was rightfully hers. Anger toward her dad suddenly sprang up inside her. Damn him!
Chris kissed her forehead and hugged her and she held on to him tightly. He was her fortress in a storm. Her tenderhearted protector. Gentle giant to those he cared about. Her lip pooched out and she burst into loud sobs at the unfairness of it all. To find love and have no choice but to leave it.
“Darlin’, darlin’, you’re breaking my heart. What is it?”
“Hey, what’s going on in here?” Julián asked as he opened the shower curtain while the sobs just rolled from her in waves. “I could hear her crying all the way downstairs. What happened?”
They both gazed at her expectantly as she tried to stifle her bawling. She looked up at Chris and felt a little bipolar as she smiled and then sobbed again. “You’re my woobie!”
Chris looked at Julián in confusion. Julián nodded, giving no hint to what he was thinking, and said, “Well…all right. I think that may be a good thing so I’ll let you two get done in here. I’ll finish breakfast. We don’t want to be late getting started this morning.”