She needed to get in touch with Caughlin and Abigail McIntyre, who were longtime friends of her family. They might be able to help her find a horse to ride until she could get her horse back. This is such a long shot. Competing on a horse I don’t know very well, if they even know of anyone who might have one. Thinking of Zephyr made the ache in her heart increase and the tears flowed again.
The sun shone in brief, delicate rays through the clouds. With no one in front of her or behind her on the deserted state highway, she stopped long enough to take out her phone and snap a picture before uploading it, as was her habit.
“Home is behind. The world is ahead.”
An hour later, Gwen walked out of the post office in Rio Blanco after checking her mailbox. She looked down at the stack of mail, mostly Christmas cards judging by the colorful envelopes.
She tore into a red envelope and smiled. It was one of those photo greeting cards that families did so often nowadays. Teresa Martinez was surrounded by the men who adored her, Angel and Joaquin, and her two sons, Michael and Eleazar. Teresa looked serene and beautiful, with her hands clasped with those of her husbands’. Gwen knew that Teresa’s happiness had been hard won. That sentiment seemed as far beyond Gwen’s grasp as the moon and the stars. It felt odd to not be able to muster emotion one way or another about that.
The snow had stopped, and she took the opportunity to take stock of the small living quarters located at the front of the trailer. In retrospect, she realized it hadn’t been very smart to drive off like that, having only checked that the gooseneck trailer was securely hitched to the old truck. She didn’t even know if there was food and supplies. It wasn’t a good idea to set off on a trip through the Rocky Mountains, not knowing if she had food, medical supplies, or even fuel for a campfire if by chance she needed one.
She shook her head, still numb, and whispered, “Stupid. Do better from now on or you’re going to get yourself in a world of hurt.” She was used to doing for herself on the road. Many of her rodeo friends enjoyed traveling with an entourage or at least companions, but she’d always preferred quiet when on the road, which was why she’d never given in to the impulse to go into full-on luxury travel mode as a champion.
As she suspected, the cupboards were bare. After pulling into a local grocery store, she located the manila envelope, counted out ten twenty-dollar bills, and stashed the envelope without looking further at the contents. Somewhere in the back of her mind it registered that she should count that money, so she’d know what she had to budget with, like she had in the early days on the road. She didn’t want to. It also registered that she didn’t care how much was in there.
“Acting crazy, Gwen,” she whispered to herself as she climbed from the truck again, made sure her possessions and the truck were secure, and went inside the small-town grocery store for provisions and a small space heater. Between the down-filled sleeping bag she’d found rolled up on the bunk and the heater, she’d be able to stay warm when she slept. The odd thing that she noted was the feeling of aloneness. Traveling with Zephyr, having the responsibility of her care, she’d never felt alone. She did now, as she climbed back into the truck cab and started the engine.
She was about to put the truck in gear when her phone rang in her coat pocket. Recognizing the number, she put the phone to her ear, mildly curious at the emotional flatness she felt at the prospect of talking to one of her dearest friends. “Teresa. How are you?”
“‘Home is behind. The world is ahead.’ What the fuck kind of dramatic bullshit is that?”
Teresa’s uncharacteristic use of such language caused Gwen to raise an eyebrow. “I’m on a road trip.”
“You just got home. You’re exhausted. You should be resting. Why are you on the road again?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’m all ears.”
“I don’t feel like talking.”
“If you’re on a road trip, what’s your destination?”
“Not sure at this point.”
“Come to Divine. It’s warmer here than where you are and we’d love to see you.” In her present state, Gwen wasn’t sure that was a good idea. “The boys would love to see you too.”
Sure, pull out the big guns. Michael and Eleazar both had her wrapped around their little fingers. She wasn’t ready to tell anyone about what had happened though.
“I’ll give you a call and let you know if I can.”
“Please be careful.”
She ended the call, thinking that it would be nice to head somewhere a little warmer, but she felt unfit for human companionship. Rodeo competitions wouldn’t start up again until early spring, so she had time in front of her to consider her next move. She’d see some of the places she’d had to bypass while on the way to rodeo events. Take time for herself—to contemplate her next move. She turned off the ringer on her phone and put it in her pocket. Uninterrupted time to think was what she needed right now. She’d make some calls when she stopped for the night.