Taming Emma(37)

She held him tight while his body shuddered. “It’s ok. It’s ok.”







She spent the next two days at the hospital, going home for changes of clothing for herself and Nate, but coming back as soon as possible. Celia was healing, but as strong as she tried to pretend she was, Emma could see the worry in her eyes. Watching the two of them together, her brother so tender as he held Celia or the two visited the baby, it was sad and beautiful all at the same time.

She couldn’t help thinking about Luke, about how things could have been with him, and for the first time in a long time, she didn’t push those painful thoughts away. Celia had been right when she’d said it was time to stop running. It was time for her to be here now. Be here for her family, be strong for them, but also be here for herself. Face her own pain and deal with the losses of the last few years. Luke was the tip of the iceberg and that hurt the worst now. She was in love with him; she knew it in her heart. Whether or not he felt the same, she wasn’t sure. He’d told her she was mistaken about them, that he’d made a mistake coming to get her. But she knew that was fear and for the first time in a long time, she could see she wasn’t the only one too afraid to face her past or her future.

But she also knew she couldn’t do a damn thing unless he wanted her help. And that part hurt. She realized as time passed it wasn’t that Luke didn’t trust her. He was afraid, just as she had been, of letting anyone see his not-so-pretty side. But it was like he’d told her himself, there’s nothing ugly in truth. There’s nothing dirty there. She knew she would accept him, whatever it was he thought was so awful. But he needed to figure that out for himself.





Chapter Eleven





For the next few weeks, Emma cooked and cleaned and took care of Celia. Nate went back to work a few days after Celia came home. Nate Jr. was doing well, growing and getting stronger. They visited the hospital daily, Emma driving Celia there and staying until Nate joined. She’d then go home. Those were the loneliest moments for her. When she left the hospital and drove home, the sadness would start to creep in, but when she walked into Nate and Celia’s big, empty house, it took all she had not to just go to her room, get into her bed, and hide from the world.

It was when she came home one of these nights that she saw his car. Her heart raced when she figured out it was Luke waiting outside of Nate’s house. Her hands closed tight around the steering wheel and she considered driving away, but hope wouldn’t let her. When the garage door went up, Luke got out of his car and stood watching while she turned onto the driveway and slid the car into the garage. Emma shut off the engine, took a deep breath, and stepped out to face him.

He walked tentatively toward her, his eyes on hers the entire time. They both stopped, leaving half a driveway between them.

“Emma,” he began. “I…I owe you an apology.”

Was that the only reason he’d come? To apologize? She blinked several times, forcing herself to take deep breaths. “No, you don’t, Luke,” she said after some time. “I assumed something that was never there; that’s not your fault.” She wasn’t angry with him, not really. Yes, he’d hurt her with his words, his actions, but she couldn’t blame him for that. He wasn’t ready to share himself with her and as much as he’d wanted and expected her to, even if she demanded that he do the same, she couldn’t force it.

She turned to go inside.

“I want to talk,” he said.

She stopped but didn’t turn.

“Why?”

“Because you deserve the truth. Because I owe it to you.”

She turned. “You don’t owe me anything.”

Luke stepped closer and she put her hand out to stop him.

“No, Luke. I mean what I’m saying; you don’t owe me an apology, a story, anything. But that doesn’t mean I will allow you to walk back into my life so you can clear your conscience. I…” love you, she wanted to scream, but instead, swallowed back tears. “I just want you to go. Leave me alone.”

“You don’t mean that,” he said.

The headlights of Nate’s car turned onto the street and Emma exhaled, relieved. They both watched Nate pull onto the driveway, his expression changing when he laid eyes on Luke. Nate and Celia stepped out of the car and Luke looked from Nate to Celia to her now-smaller belly. Emma watched him scan the back seat, studying his expression when he didn’t see what he expected to see.

“Luke,” Celia said, always polite, even as her voice betrayed her fatigue.

Nate wrapped his arm around her. “Let’s go inside, honey. You need to rest.”