“Because it sounds exactly like the stuff I said to Christie.”
Caleb gritted his teeth. “This hasn’t got anything to do with you and Christie. And I’m not pushing her away.”
“Don’t be an asshole. You know why I said that to Christie? Because I was falling for her and I didn’t want to. And I didn’t want to because I was afraid.”
Tension began to creep through him, locking his muscles tight. “Joe, this conversation isn’t one I want to be having right now.”
“And you think I do? Shit, Cal, talking to you about Jude is probably number one on my list of things I’d rather chew my own arm off than do, but…” He stopped, shifting against the wall. “She’s hurt. And I hate seeing her like that.”
Caleb could feel his shoulders beginning to hunch. He tried to put them back, to loosen his tight muscles. “I thought you wanted me to stay away from her.”
“Mate, if I had my way you’d be dead on the floor.” His gaze was uncompromising. “And the only reason you’re not is because, for some insane reason, she loves you.”
The ache in his chest squeezed tight. “She shouldn’t.”
“No, she shouldn’t. But she does. So that’s why I’m here. To tell you to stop being such a bloody coward and face up to it.”
The pressure inside him felt like it couldn’t get any tighter. He stared out over the crowd. “You don’t understand, Joe. I don’t want to care about her. I don’t want to care about anyone.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes the heart makes its own choices. And it may not be what we want. Sometimes it’s exactly what we need, though.”
Caleb forced out a laugh. “Christ, you know Mick Jagger called? He wants his song back.”
For a long moment Joseph didn’t say anything, the only sound in the room the MC followed by the audience laughing. Applause rang out in the old theater, then finally his friend said in a quiet voice, “Laugh about it all you want. But don’t go hurting her because you can’t deal with your own shit, Caleb.” Joseph pushed himself away from the wall. “She’s been there for a lot people in her life. Isn’t it about time someone was there for her?”
He opened his mouth to tell Joseph he couldn’t be there for her but the words wouldn’t come out. Because all he could think about was her on the rugby field, telling him about her mother. Sharing herself with him. Opening herself up to him in a way he’d never thought she would.
She’d been brave. She’d put herself out there for him twice now. And both times he’d pushed her away, telling himself it was better for her.
It wasn’t better for her, though. The only person it was better for was himself. Because Joseph was right: he was a coward.
Caleb put a hand in his pocket, fingers closing around the fine chain of the necklace he’d kept there like a talisman.
His heart shuddered in his chest.
He cared so much about her. He wanted to be there for her, the way she’d been there for him. But caring hurt and he’d had enough of being hurt by those he loved.
“I don’t know what to do,” he said to Joseph hoarsely. “I don’t know how to make it right.”
Joseph gave a sigh. “Mate, I have no idea, either. I suspect you’re going to have to grovel big time.”
Out on the stage, Luke had a thunderous look on his face. The spotlight settled on a table where a blushing Marisa sat, which was weird because Marisa never blushed. Then all thoughts of Marisa vanished from his head as he saw who was sitting next to her.
Judith.
She was wearing a dark blue dress made out of some silky-looking fabric. It was strapless and short and seemed to have been painted on. She looked so goddamned sexy it took his breath away.
Everything inside him went still.
“There’s just one other thing I want you to know,” Joseph said quietly.
With an effort, Caleb dragged his gaze away from Judith. “What?”
“That I’m sorry for the way I interfered eight years ago. If I hadn’t…”
“If you hadn’t, it still probably wouldn’t have worked. I can barely deal with it now, let alone then.”
His friend let out a sigh. “I think you could be good for her, Cal. I think you could be what she needs.”
Caleb was saved from answering at that moment as a furious-looking Luke strode backstage, walking past both Caleb and Joseph without a word.
“You’re on, mate,” Joseph said quietly.
Sure enough, the MC had begun to announce the last and most popular auction of the night.
“Here he is folks,” the MC said smoothly, “the guy we’ve all been waiting for. Mr. Abs of Steele himself. Caleb Steele everyone!”