Judith took another step toward him. “Yes, he bloody well was. I think you’re the most incredible guy I’ve ever met. Doesn’t my opinion count at all?”
“That’s not the problem.” His powerful chest rose fast, hard. “The problem isn’t Joseph.”
“Then what is it? Is it your career again? Or that I’m too young? Or another dumb excuse—”
“The problem is me.”
She stared at him. “What do you mean you?”
“You saw that picture, Jude. I’m not the guy you seem to think I am. Maybe I once was. But I’m not now.”
A lump rose in her throat, her chest so tight she couldn’t breathe. “I don’t care about that picture. That’s not you. You’re the kindest, most generous, most unselfish—”
“Bullshit!” A hot spark flared in his black eyes, a raw anger that almost made her step back from him. “Make no mistake, babycakes. I’m a selfish bastard. I’m a player. I like my money. I like my success. I like my fame. I like sex. And that’s all. Anything else, I don’t give a shit about.”
“No,” she flung back, because it wasn’t true. It just wasn’t true. “You care about a lot of things, Caleb. You care about Joe. And you…you care about me.”
The hot spark in his gaze cooled, became something she’d never seen before. Something hard and cold. “I’m sorry, Jude. The guy you think I am? He doesn’t exist. It’s the fame and the money, honey. It always has been.”
You couldn’t keep your mother from leaving. Why should it be any different with him?
She could feel the cracks running through her heart, breaking it into tiny pieces.
“Oh,” she said in a thick voice. “So that’s how it is, is it?”
Turning away, unable to bear even being near him, she reached up and began fumbling with the catch on the necklace she was wearing. The little fantail he’d given her. Suddenly it seemed important she get rid of it, and anything even remotely to do with him. But it wouldn’t come easily so she jerked on the chain, breaking it.
Behind her, she heard him curse. “Judith,” he began. “Look, I’m—”
“Here.” She shoved the fantail necklace at him. “Take it. I don’t want it.” When he didn’t take it, she shoved it forcibly into the pocket of his trousers, despite his efforts to push her hand away. “Give it to someone else. Hell, give it to the next bimbo you meet. I’m sure she’ll love it.”
“Darling…”
“No,” she said forcibly. “No darling, no babycakes, no honey pie. Don’t ever call me anything like that ever again.” She looked up at him, into his eyes. “I’m never going to put my heart on the line for you again, Caleb Steele. Never ever. Twice in one lifetime was bad enough. I’m not doing it a third.”
“Jude—”
“Don’t forget your shoes.” She went past him, out into the hallway, and into the lounge. And then she sat on the couch until she heard the door shut behind him.
Then she burst into tears.
…
Caleb drove back to his hotel cursing all the way. He’d never been so furiously angry in all his life. Not even when his father had refused his final offer of help.
He’d done what he had to do. Broken it off in as brutal a way as he could. So there would be no coming back from it even if he wanted to.
You bastard. You hurt her so badly. After you’d promised not to.
Yeah, he had. And he’d meant to. He’d tried to be kind, tried to be gentle, but he hadn’t counted on her fighting, demanding more. Which meant he’d had to go for the big guns. Make it utterly clear just what kind of asshole he truly was to her and to himself. So they both knew never to go there again.
Pity it felt like he’d ripped away a part of himself in the process.
He cursed again, hitting the steering wheel with the flat of his hand, furious with himself and with her for making him care, for this terrible sense of loss. The ache that had started in his chest as he’d delivered the coup de grace to their relationship and which had now spread right through his body.
No, he’d done the right thing. He had to keep telling himself that. She’d get over it eventually and find some other guy. A guy who could care about her the way he would never be able to.
Coward.
Caleb gritted his teeth, trying to push the image of Judith’s white face, and the tear that slid down her cheek, out of his head. He didn’t care. He didn’t want to care.
His phone rang annoyingly and just for one intense second he thought it was her, and he felt almost dizzy with relief. But it was Mike.