She swallowed as she pulled on her underwear, fighting back the pathetic urge to cry.
Served her right for being dumb enough to fall in love with the guy. For the second time.
God, what idiot had their heart broken once, then went ahead, ignoring all the warnings, and did the same thing again eight years later?
That picture of him with that actress had been a shock, but what had been worse was his calm stating of the facts. That there would always be pictures like that one. Constant reminders of a past that would always be there. The things he’d done, the women he’d been with. Eating away at the fragile trust she’d only just started to give him.
What kind of relationship could survive that? Not theirs, that was for certain.
Judith slammed the drawer shut with a bang.
“Jude, stop.”
She turned. Caleb had come after her, hands thrust in his pockets, looking ridiculously hot with his bare chest and the trousers that sat low on his hips. The tattoo curled over his shoulder and all she could think about was how she’d traced it last night in the shower, loving the feel of his skin beneath hers.
Loving him. And she’d wanted more than anything to say the words. But she’d been too afraid of his reaction. Too unsure. With good, bloody, reason as it turned out.
Well, she wasn’t saying those words now. No way she’d lay her heart on the line like she had all those years ago. No. Freaking. Way. She’d rather scoop it out of her own chest.
“What?” Desperately, she tried to find her usual cool. “If you’re after your shoes, they’re underneath the bed.”
His gaze didn’t even look toward the bed, it stayed firmly on her. “You’re upset.”
“Oh no. I’m fine. I’m bloody marvelous.”
“No, you’re not. Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you—”
“You think I’m hurt? I’m not. I’m really okay, Caleb.” She forced herself to smile, knew it looked like a rictus grin but did it anyway.
“Then why are you so angry?”
She tried to laugh and it came out sounding weird. “Why would I be angry? You only pointed out what we both already know. It’s fine.”
His gaze seemed to look straight through her armor, to the raw, angry wound it covered. “I’m sorry, Jude. This is for the best, believe me. Look, even without all the problems with the press, there’s still the fact that I won’t be around as much as I’d like. I’ll be in Australia every second weekend during football season anyway.”
Judith swallowed, blinking again. No tears. No freaking tears! “Yeah, you’re right. I mean, I could come to Australia with you I guess but…”
“There’s your business,” he finished for her. “You’re the talk of the town after this calendar. You can’t drop all of that just to come with me.” Caleb’s hand fell. “You deserve more than trailing after me. More than just fun and laughs and hot sex.”
A dull anger tangled in her chest and she couldn’t keep it inside this time. “Don’t you tell me what I do and don’t deserve, you patronizing bastard. What do you know about it?”
“I know that you deserve someone who’ll never let you down,” he said quietly. “Someone you can lean on when you need to. Someone who’ll be there for you all the time, not just every second weekend.”
Pain gripped her and despite her best efforts, a tear slid down her cheek. “Yeah, perhaps I do. So why can’t that someone be you?”
The expression on his face changed, a flash of something she couldn’t read crossing it, before abruptly shuttered. “Because it can’t.”
Her heart shriveled up inside her chest, every instinct she had warning her not to say anything more, to pretend she hadn’t said anything. But she’d been pretending for so long. Pretending she’d gotten over her mother leaving. Pretending she’d gotten over Caleb. Pretending that being cool and in charge protected her from hurt.
Well, she was sick of all the pretense. She’d lived the last two weeks without it and she wasn’t going to do it anymore.
“Stop telling me what I want, Caleb,” she said hoarsely. “Like you even know what that is. What I want is you, okay? I’ve always wanted you. And I probably always will.”
He’d gone very, very still, his expression frozen, eyes glittering. “Judith…”
“And now you’re going to tell me I shouldn’t. That you listened to my stupid brother when he told you that you’d never be good enough for me.”
“He wasn’t wrong,” he said roughly.