Talking Dirty With the Player(34)
He frowned. “Why not? Don’t you like it?”
“I love it, but…”
“But what?”
I’m afraid to accept it. I’m afraid of what that might mean. “It’s…far too expensive and…”
The words died in her throat as he slowly strode over to where she stood and picked up the necklace from the box. He walked to stand behind her, and she froze completely as he lifted his hands and gently laid the necklace around her neck. His fingers brushed her nape as he fastened it.
“Please accept it, Jude.” His voice was soft behind her. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. I want us to be friends, stop this fighting.”
All the usual denials came flooding back. The need to maintain that distance. Protect herself. He’d always had the ability to screw with her good intentions, though. Make her want things she knew were bad for her. Make her remember the things about him she didn’t want to remember.
She swallowed and she found her fingers resting on the little bird as if wanting to keep it there.
“Okay,” she managed thickly. “Apology accepted.” Then she cleared her throat and stepped away from him, trying to get her armor back in place. “I’m going to have to take a rain-check on the friends part of the equation for the moment, though. Now shall we do these photos?”
He just stood there, looking at her. “Hang on a sec. I think we need to clear the air about the whole kiss thing.”
Oh great. Heat crept over her face. She so did not want to have this conversation with him. Not now. “That really hasn’t got anything to do with the photo shoot. Perhaps we could leave it until after?”
“No, we can’t,” Caleb said and folded his arms.
Her jaw clenched. “I don’t want to—”
“I know you don’t want to but if we’re going to work together, we need to get some things out into the open.” He gave her an intense look. “I didn’t push you away because I didn’t want you, Jude.”
“Caleb, please. Could we—”
“In fact, if I was going to be honest, there’s nothing I’d like better than to take that kiss to its natural conclusion.”
Her lips clamped shut on the instinctive denials. “So what’s your point?”
“My point is that with this TV job in Australia, I can’t be here for you all the time, not in the way you need me to be. And I don’t want to hurt you.”
Judith opened her mouth to tell him she didn’t need him to be here for her, either, but he just kept going.
“Also there’s Joseph. Hurting you would definitely screw up my friendship with him and I don’t want to do that. You see?”
“Yes,” she said tightly, embarrassed and furious with him. Him and the cartload of assumptions he was dragging along behind him. “I see. And I guess I should thank you for explaining my own feelings to me so succinctly.”
His frown deepened. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re laboring under a massive assumption, Caleb. And it’s not true.”
“What assumption?”
“That I would actually consider a relationship with you again.”
His dark eyes glittered. “I have to say, you seemed more than keen in the locker rooms.”
Her jaw tightened. “I wasn’t thinking straight and neither were you.”
“So you don’t want me then?”
A denial hovered on her lips. But she couldn’t get it out. “I… Look, I told you before I don’t do casual, especially if it’s just a visit every month or so.”
He didn’t move. Just stood there looking at her. “What if I can give you more?”
“What? What do you mean more?”
“What if I stayed here? In Auckland?”
The question was so unexpected that for a moment she didn’t know what to say. “I thought you said your job was in Australia?”
“It is. But I don’t have to live there. I can go over for filming and then come back to New Zealand once it’s over.”
A small curl of something she refused to call hope threaded through her. She ignored it. She couldn’t afford hope. Not with him. “You think it’s just about being in the same city, Caleb? It’s not. It’s more than that. It’s about trust.”
His eyes narrowed. “You’re saying you don’t trust me?”
“You’re Abs of Steele. The man who launched a thousand groupies. So no, I don’t.”
The look on his face darkened. “Jesus. When are you going to stop holding my bloody reputation over my head?”
“Perhaps when you prove to me you’re more than that.” She forced herself to give him a cool, professional smile.” Now, since the air is well and truly cleared, can we please get on with this damn photo shoot?”